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A Good Man, Food for thought...

sosicmcise

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What is a "Good Man"?

Think about it, you hear the phrase all the time, but what does it mean to YOU?

Is there a single character trait that defines a Good Man or is it a collection of traits or observations that shape our opinion?

Really think about it...
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

a collection of traits , actions , and knowing when NOT to post that video on the internet.....and being a designated driver.
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

Honor
Integrity
Courage
Wisdom
Strength
Loyalty
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

Commitment to do the right thing, and the wisdom to practice restraint when no good options present themselves.
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

Searching for love?=)

I've noticed something. People act completely different around a group of peers, but one on one most everyone I've met becomes a good fella, so it's hard to tell. For the most part, I don't judge someone who acts or does things a certain way. It's just who they are. I only judge them when they lie. To me, a good person is trustworthy, they're someone I never judge.

And LMAO at Boltripper's response

-V-
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

Great question, and something I've been thinking a lot about since my son has starting getting out of his toddler stage.

For me, in a word...Integrity

Things that I look for that indicates someone has integrity:

Somone who lives what they preach - words are cheap, actions are what matter.

Someone who lets their actions speak for themselves - confident but humble. I hate braggards as much as I pity pussies.

Someone who has courage, physical is important, but even more importantly moral courage.

Do the right thing, especially when you don't think others are watching.

Someone who's loyalties don't change when circumstances shift.

Someone who is both self-reliant but wise enough to not turn down help either. Don't expect anyone to help you or give you a hand out, but be gracious and grateful to take support when offered.
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

Click Here. It means he is the master of a household. Since this does not refer to you or I, and quite a few of my friends, I have had to try and determine new meanings.

I hear the term so often now that I refuse to use it anymore. "He is good people" has lost most of its glamour, as well. I just don't like these descriptions. So many apt descriptions are just no good anymore. Take for instance, "She is a yellow-cake spy." Or, "He shotguns lawyers." Or, our friend is an "airport bathroom reacher-under and one hell of a good national leader!" To refer to a friend as the "king of pop" isn't good anymore. "Moron raper" does not go as far as it once did, "he's for change" isn't cutting it, "not really a Silver Star recipient" changes ones opinion, and even "senior executive" implies that one is making 4,000 times the salary of the average worker. Forget "bank president." It says a lot less about a member of your community than it once did...

I have also noticed recently that some of my friends refer to any people younger, or junior, to them as being "really, good kids." "That battalion that just returned had some really good kids in it." Huh? I don't get that. Were they really playing in a sandbox?

Sometimes, I just say, "he is a friend," but never, "He is an integer," being that it is the root word of integrity and implies whole man. I have quite a few friends missing pieces.

Whenever someone says integrity, I immediately ask them about someone I know they do not like or respect. If they are polite in their answer and dance around the emotional response they would like to provide, I immediately know they use tact, which is a synonym of spin, or lie. Tact and integrity are constantly at war; although, I, like many of you perhaps, have been taught that some things you just can't say.

On multiple boards I was asked about leadership traits, so sometimes I just made one up. "Stoolnosedness" is one that really got me in trouble when I tried to explain that some people do very well by keeping their nostrils far up into the intestines of their seniors. Another that caused a SgtMaj to wig out was "yessiredness," which I pronounced "yeecerdness," which is the tendency of some people to always agree with the boss no matter what (and laugh too, at the end), kind of like McMahon to Carson, "You are correct once again Sir! hahaha...!" That trait always stands out.

Tell them what they've won....(deeper voice) you've won a side-by-side washer drier...

It just bothered me that I always answered "loyalty" and was always corrected that "integrity" was the right answer. In my mind, I was being loyal to my values by not using tact to lie about the answer, since, "You old bastards have been married 14 times between the 5 of you, 2 of you crashed at the barracks last friday night and lied to your wives about it, and all of you have seabags full of extra gear that you are not signed for so my answer to your question is integrity" would not have went over well. "Hookers" might have sufficed, which when pronounced very slowly sounds like, "who cares?" since most people know the 'right' answer in advance.

Like the goodman governor said in "All the King's Men," Everybody has something.

Later, sitting on boards, I tactlessly asked the same question about good leadership traits. The respondee that answered, "integrity" always got my second and third question, "who do you think is the laziest of the people running this board and why?" Most chose not to answer.

These days, I tend to just say, "he is the greatest of all-time" about someone I know and trust and consider a friend, or 1 and 2 (click 1 then 2 closely together) to describe someone that not only do I know, trust and consider a friend, but also would drop all tact and honestly tell me what they thought about something important, like whether they think I am being honest or not...

...that's loyalty.
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

<span style="text-decoration: underline">The 'political' virtues</span>

Citizen / Leader:

Love of self / Love of honor
civility / courage
decency / prudence
fairness / compromise
modesty / opportunism
suspicion / ruthlessness
tolerance / charisma
reasonableness / pragmatism
sensitivity / sensitivity
respect / respect

I agree with 41: Our deeper, more personal friendships provide a clue to what citizenship demands.
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

Graham "gets it." I am thankful that my greatest sense is often to seek out and befriend the smartest guy in the room. In every sense, it has never been me. Too often, my heart overrules my brain. In the short run this leads to great acts, in the long run the play can be a failure.
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

I think Kipling puts it well......


Rudyard Kipling
If

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Goldie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I think Kipling puts it well......


Rudyard Kipling
If

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!








</div></div>

Damn... I hadn't read that since the 4th grade. Good choice.
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

Kipling has a point, in that what makes a "Good Man" cannot be separated from what makes a good citizen.

But Kipling's view, although well-written, by today's standards is a bit narrow, limited, selfish, and nationalistic.

I would argue that citizenship today has evolved to be post-national: that the old ideas of to what one belongs - blood, tribe, and belief - need to be reconsidered in context of the post-modern world. For evidence look no further than most of the Middle East, which continues to suffer under the old paradigm.

Today - and this is not my idea, it is well-developed by Michel Eyquem Montaigne
http://oregonstate.edu/instruct/phl302/texts/montaigne/m-essays_contents.html
- citizens must build character more than knowledge.

Why? Because today's college Freshman, a student of John Stuart Mill and an accomplished maximizer of self-interest, a person we could find at the mall while his peers are sweating in the hot sun under a standard combat load, cannot by maximizing his pleasure help secure justice for his fellow man. It's not that shopping is opposed to justice, but without doing more he can't help secure justice for others less fortunate than he.

Thus the good citizen - the Good Man - fosters an attitude of hopeful pragmatism, practices the political virtues of tolerance, negotiation and compromise, and searches for frienship and love. And he does this both in and out of uniform.
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

Wow!
shocked.gif

I didn't mean for that post to be a thread-killer.
The OP said: 'Really think about it...", so I did.
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

Not to hijack the thread but this is my favorite Kipling poem. It also offers a bit of insight into the authors mindset to put the previous poem into perspective.

Boots

We're foot-slog-slog-slog-sloggin' over Africa -
Foot-foot-foot-foot-sloggin' over Africa -
(Boots-boots-boots-boots-movin' up an' down again!)
There's no discharge in the war!

Seven-six-eleven-five-nine-an'-twenty mile to-day -
Four-eleven-seventeen-thirty-two the day before -
(Boots-boots-boots-boots-movin' up an' down again!)
There's no discharge in the war!

Don't-don't-don't-don't-look at what's in front of you.
(Boots-boots-boots-boots-movin' up an' down again)
Men-men-men-men-men go mad with watchin' em,
An' there's no discharge in the war!

Try-try-try-try-to think o' something different -
Oh-my-God-keep-me from goin' lunatic!
(Boots-boots-boots-boots-movin' up an' down again!)
There's no discharge in the war!

Count-count-count-count-the bullets in the bandoliers.
If-your-eyes-drop-they will get atop o' you!
(Boots-boots-boots-boots-movin' up an' down again) -
There's no discharge in the war!

We-can-stick-out-'unger, thirst, an' weariness,
But-not-not-not-not the chronic sight of 'em -
Boot-boots-boots-boots-movin' up an' down again,
An' there's no discharge in the war!

'Taint-so-bad-by-day because o' company,
But night-brings-long-strings-o' forty thousand million
Boots-boots-boots-boots-movin' up an' down again.
There's no discharge in the war!

I-'ave-marched-six-weeks in 'Ell an' certify
It-is-not-fire-devils, dark, or anything,
But boots-boots-boots-boots-movin' up an' down again,
An' there's no discharge in the war!
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

I like that one too Shark, especially blared over large hidden speakers and read by someone that sounds a lot like Hitler. Again and again.
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

When I was young my mom had a coffee cup that said "It's good to find a hard man".

I believe if I had realized what that meant any earlier I would have developed some type of psychological trauma from that.
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: COURAGEWOLF</div><div class="ubbcode-body">When I was young my mom had a coffee cop that said "It's good to find a hard man".

I believe if I had realized what that meant any earlier I would have developed some type of pyschological trauma from that.</div></div>

LOL....Damn it mom, I just threw up a little in my mouth, stop using that cup.
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: COURAGEWOLF</div><div class="ubbcode-body">When I was young my mom had a coffee cop that said "It's good to find a hard man".

I believe if I had realized what that meant any earlier I would have developed some type of psychological trauma from that. </div></div>

Maybe if you found out earlier what it meant you'd have stopped drinking from that cup.
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

I still try to live by the Boy Scout Law.

A Scout is:

Trustworthy
Loyal
Helpful
Friendly
Courteous
Kind
Obedient
Cheerful
Thrifty
Brave
Clean
and Reverent.

Happy New Year to all!
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

I left this thread up while I was making dinner...my wife has worked hard the last few weeks making the Holidays wonderful so I decided to make dinner. Anyway...

My youngest son got on the computer and read this thread... je came into the kitchen and gave me a hug (bear in mind that he is 16 and is taller than me now) and said, "Dang Dad...there are more guys like you out there? What you have been telling me all these years muct be the truth" ....then I got some sand in my eyes and had to hug him back...told him he was well on his way.


I was wrong...not all the younger generaton sucks

Excellent thread guys
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

Temperance / Fortitude / Prudence / Justice. Some might recognize that. The ability to wear a Cowboy hat amongst REAL Cowboys without them looking down on you for having wore it. Being a man of you word regardless of what it costs you. How you treat a person who can in no way help, aid, or assist you. Just what I can think of right now. Oh and as far I am concerned a hand shake should be a 100% legal binding, and enforceable contract.

Mike
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

Says what he means, means what he says, and keeps his word.
 
Re: A Good Man, Food for thought...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sosicmcise</div><div class="ubbcode-body">What is a "Good Man"?

Think about it, you hear the phrase all the time, but what does it mean to YOU?

Is there a single character trait that defines a Good Man or is it a collection of traits or observations that shape our opinion?

Really think about it...

</div></div>

The best man I ever knew...

...dropped out of school at age 13 to work the family farm when he father fell ill.

Tried twice to enlist during the Korean war. Turned down because of his feet. Finally drafted (with the same feet) and served in Korea; wounded twice and suffered frostbite to his toes. Later in life he had more problems with his feet, but didn't blame the "gubmint."

He went to work everyday; Seven days a week, 12-15 hour days for years to support his family. Later, he had every other Sunday off. On those Sundays he took his family to church and to visit family.

Refused to allow his children to accept free meals at school (even though his income level easily qualified), yet his children were always well feed and properly clothed.

After retiring at age 65, worked as a construction site security guard so his wife could shop and travel with her friends.

When diagnosed with cancer, refused treatment to prolong his life because he knew someone would have to care for him.

I think about him everyday and, when my life is over, hope I'll be remembered as half the man he was.