• Watch Out for Scammers!

    We've now added a color code for all accounts. Orange accounts are new members, Blue are full members, and Green are Supporters. If you get a message about a sale from an orange account, make sure you pay attention before sending any money!

A Good Man

Alphatreedog

Tier Potato
Full Member
Minuteman
  • Feb 15, 2017
    5,789
    10,947
    This post is not about me . It's about my Dad . It's about my Uncle . It is about all of the good men I've been blessed to know and learn from some of whom frequent this site .
    My son has autism . Aspedgers to be more precise . He is brilliant , handsome , empathetic , compassionate , funny and sarcastic as all get out and becoming a good man . In spite of all of the easily loved qualities he is still autistic and capable of going emotionally ballistic .
    This evening he was out front at his favorite tree by his favorite rope swing swinging for the fences at the swing with a stick . With all the grace of childhood abandon and playful innocence the stick flew from his hand striking the bumper of our neighbors truck . As fate would have it I witnessed the whole thing . So I call my son up the drive and ask what happened . I know what happened and still want to hear his account . We are on the same page . I with all the Elder and Mentor energy I can summon invite him to go take accountability for his actions . I explain that while nothing was damaged that an honorable man is accountable for his actions . He states that he understand and that no one saw . I proceed to tell him that self accountability is the mark of an honorable man and builds trust in those that you are truthful with . The conversation starts to nosedive as anxiety and fear take over . I take him i side and explain that doing hard things stretches your crap container . The more hard stuff you do the more crap you can endure . This is what a man does for the strength to endure hardship for himself and his family . He is now crying and questioning . Mom shows up with dinner and I let it lay for now with " I love you and am not trying to hurt you . I'm trying to make hard stuff easier ." I know my son and am aware that at this point he n÷ds space so I eat in the living room giv8ng him opportunity to talk to Mom 8f he choses . Beglfore I know it my tqelve year old is next door holding himself to account . My intention if he did not was to go over and tell the neighbor after dinner . Very proud of my becoming a good man , twelve year old son . Just ordered a G Shock for him . Gonna honor his moment and then present the watch and tell him that a man needs a good reliable watch and you are a good man .
    In closing I am grateful to those whose shoulders I stood on navigating this with my son .
     
    Dang. That welled me up.
    Darn good work. A whole bunch of work with great rewards.
    Teaching honor and integrity are the greatest things we fathers can do for our kids, boys especially.

    Working on that with the oldest. He isnt my biological son and I spend more time with him than his dad. He tends to take after his dad, who has zero of either, so its a bit of an uphill between human nature and that.

    This is a favorite quote I use often:
    “Integrity has no need for a set of rules.”
     
    Nice job Alphatreedog. You keep up the good work.

    We had a Scout in our Troop that had Aspedgers. He started at 11. Yes, things went south quickly and quite often. But he, and hid Dad, has stuck with it, and it's amazing to watch the changes in him as he gets older. You wouldn't even recognize him from the boy that started 5 years ago.
     
    Hi,

    NICE JOB!!!

    One of the hardest working image analyst I have ever known was diagnosed with Asperger at a very young age himself.
    His parents were dedicated to raising him up just as you are doing with yours. They went through dozens upon dozens of aptitude test geared specifically to find a "Task" that he clicked with and he clicked with ascertaining extremely minute variations in images and has made a great life for himself and others from that God given task.

    Sincerely,
    Theis
     
    Last edited:
    My son has the same diagnosis. He's 22 now, but I remember those days.

    His actions are both a mark of what lies under the surface of if you just look. But also because of what he has seen as an example.

    Well done.

    This post is not about me . It's about my Dad . It's about my Uncle . It is about all of the good men I've been blessed to know and learn from some of whom frequent this site .
    My son has autism . Aspedgers to be more precise . He is brilliant , handsome , empathetic , compassionate , funny and sarcastic as all get out and becoming a good man . In spite of all of the easily loved qualities he is still autistic and capable of going emotionally ballistic .
    This evening he was out front at his favorite tree by his favorite rope swing swinging for the fences at the swing with a stick . With all the grace of childhood abandon and playful innocence the stick flew from his hand striking the bumper of our neighbors truck . As fate would have it I witnessed the whole thing . So I call my son up the drive and ask what happened . I know what happened and still want to hear his account . We are on the same page . I with all the Elder and Mentor energy I can summon invite him to go take accountability for his actions . I explain that while nothing was damaged that an honorable man is accountable for his actions . He states that he understand and that no one saw . I proceed to tell him that self accountability is the mark of an honorable man and builds trust in those that you are truthful with . The conversation starts to nosedive as anxiety and fear take over . I take him i side and explain that doing hard things stretches your crap container . The more hard stuff you do the more crap you can endure . This is what a man does for the strength to endure hardship for himself and his family . He is now crying and questioning . Mom shows up with dinner and I let it lay for now with " I love you and am not trying to hurt you . I'm trying to make hard stuff easier ." I know my son and am aware that at this point he n÷ds space so I eat in the living room giv8ng him opportunity to talk to Mom 8f he choses . Beglfore I know it my tqelve year old is next door holding himself to account . My intention if he did not was to go over and tell the neighbor after dinner . Very proud of my becoming a good man , twelve year old son . Just ordered a G Shock for him . Gonna honor his moment and then present the watch and tell him that a man needs a good reliable watch and you are a good man .
    In closing I am grateful to those whose shoulders I stood on navigating this with my son .
     
    This post is not about me . It's about my Dad . It's about my Uncle . It is about all of the good men I've been blessed to know and learn from some of whom frequent this site .
    My son has autism . Aspedgers to be more precise . He is brilliant , handsome , empathetic , compassionate , funny and sarcastic as all get out and becoming a good man . In spite of all of the easily loved qualities he is still autistic and capable of going emotionally ballistic .
    This evening he was out front at his favorite tree by his favorite rope swing swinging for the fences at the swing with a stick . With all the grace of childhood abandon and playful innocence the stick flew from his hand striking the bumper of our neighbors truck . As fate would have it I witnessed the whole thing . So I call my son up the drive and ask what happened . I know what happened and still want to hear his account . We are on the same page . I with all the Elder and Mentor energy I can summon invite him to go take accountability for his actions . I explain that while nothing was damaged that an honorable man is accountable for his actions . He states that he understand and that no one saw . I proceed to tell him that self accountability is the mark of an honorable man and builds trust in those that you are truthful with . The conversation starts to nosedive as anxiety and fear take over . I take him i side and explain that doing hard things stretches your crap container . The more hard stuff you do the more crap you can endure . This is what a man does for the strength to endure hardship for himself and his family . He is now crying and questioning . Mom shows up with dinner and I let it lay for now with " I love you and am not trying to hurt you . I'm trying to make hard stuff easier ." I know my son and am aware that at this point he n÷ds space so I eat in the living room giv8ng him opportunity to talk to Mom 8f he choses . Beglfore I know it my tqelve year old is next door holding himself to account . My intention if he did not was to go over and tell the neighbor after dinner . Very proud of my becoming a good man , twelve year old son . Just ordered a G Shock for him . Gonna honor his moment and then present the watch and tell him that a man needs a good reliable watch and you are a good man .
    In closing I am grateful to those whose shoulders I stood on navigating this with my son .

    Happy Father's Day my man!

    I have a kid with the same diagnosis although now they just call it High Functioning Autism. Some days are difficult but just as your lesson to your son proves, we as fathers get stronger as well by raising a child with these challenges. I know it's made me a better person.

    Thanks for sharing your awesome story, and thanks for making me tear up a bit. ;)
     
    • Like
    Reactions: Alphatreedog
    On a selfish note, I'm going to say that I learned a lesson from that and I will use it every day.
    Thank you for showing me another way to work with my 13yr old step son.

    I've tried all kinds of ways but not in the manner you posted about.
    I now have a new way of shifting through the gears with Alex and have no doubt we'll have more success.

    He's never been diagnosed simply because the stigma would crush him.
    However, we know for certain he is a high functioning/autistic kid.

    Glad to see you have it figured out and you're having success with him. He's gonna grow up just fine because he has great role models.
     
    That’s part of what’s wrong with our society today. Not enough dads are willing to put in the hard work of being a dad. Good on you. Give your kid a hug for me, you are both doing a great job!
     
    The boy mentioned above has some stuff. For sure ADHD, about a 7/10, and social awkwardness. Lots of testing of the adhd to see if anything else was there and the smart people said no.

    His own dad keeps trying to force the peg into the wrong shaped hole.
    Im in the process of learning and applying new ideas of parenting as well. Stories shared here are awesome. Both for ideas and inspiration.

    Happy Fathers Day. This applies to a stepdad as much as biological. Its your time and interactions, not genetics.......