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Five days in hell, need to vent

Veer_G

Beware of the Dildópony!
Full Member
Minuteman
Jun 15, 2008
12,979
15,277
SEPA
A buddy of mine got in touch with me two weeks ago and asked me if I'd mind being on call to translate by phone for one of his shops, since he was having a personnel problem and wasn't going to have anyone who spoke Spanish there for a few days. He does tag/registration/title/notary services and low-cost auto insurance in some pretty rough areas. The atmosphere is generally, um, lively, let's say. Lots of noise and red and blue lights in the neighborhoods, right?

Well, a temporary sit-down for one of his managers turned into at least a week's vacation to give this guy the opportunity for reflection, and my friend asked me if I'd fill the breech in the meantime. It's a cash-heavy business floating in the middle of shark-infested waters, and he can't afford not to have eyes and ears in the place while he's busy elsewhere in other locations. I've got better ways to use my time, like taking on better-paying translation work, or getting sequential root canals, but he was in a fix, and he's a friend.

So, I'm going into day six there, and I'm just about ready to lose it. One of the clerks has a teenage daughter who comes to work with her and pretty much infests the place. All day long, it's " 'N' this, 'N' that, I told that 'N' shut the f**k up," all ... day ... long. This kid can't shut up, can't stop fidgeting, and thinks absolutely nothing about interrupting some fairly intense customer service discussions with less-than-wealthy people paying for what they don't see as an essential expense anyway. She can't go home, because her father works nights, and she can't prowl the streets, because it just isn't safe. My friend doesn't need any more personnel issues, because it's a highly, highly one-culture neighborhood, and as it is I'm getting grief, because the supposition is that one of them has been replaced with one of us, whatever it is that they consider me to be.

I've told him that this kid is trying her best to ruin his business, and he's communicated his concerns to the clerk with a pretty clear directive that this kid STFU and mind her manners. It isn't working. Where the hell is the limit of friendship? I'm coming home from ten and eleven hour days with tension headaches, a stiff, sore neck, and an unrequited urge to strangle someone. What the hell do I do, other than leaving him in the lurch? The problem child manager is coming back in in a few days for a test run and to see if his 'tude has gotten better, and buddy o' mine has already brought up the idea of me replacing him temporarily if he has to sack him and look for someone else long-term.

At this point I just want to forget my vows and take a deep plunge in a vat full of ice-cold beer. Seriously. Any ideas, other than finding new friends? :(
 
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I'd maybe let him down easy by explaining how bad it will be for his business if you stay:

"Look buddy, you know I want to help you out, but I'm on the verge of a full-retard moment in here, and no one is going to want to do business with you after the chainsaw massacre. In short, I'm your friend, but when it comes to running your shop, I'm not your guy."
 
Friendship is a two-way street. You're doing him a huge favor so he has a responsibility to get his shit in order so you can help him.

Failing that, just keep pressing replay until your faculties have been reduced to the point that you don't care anymore, or you want to grab the chainsaw.
Pharrell Williams - Happy (Official Music Video) - YouTube

I'd go with the chainsaw.
 
I'd never thought of duct tape and chainsaws as a solution for third-party ADHD, but, strangely, I find myself more and more pliable every day.

9 am - once more I go into this insane asylum. Pray for me, even if it's to St. JMB. :)
 
What does a man besides his word?

Far as the teenage girl, you may wanna talk to your bud about setting some rules in the work place, ie she has to stay TFO out of the shop during business hours, and if she dont then her mama gets fired and both get to say good-bye to the job.
 
Greater love hath no man than this, than to spend his free time in the ghetto for his friend...the original quote escapes me atm
 
Better be a real friend, most are not only you know. The money better be great to tolerate that BS. If your life is at risk get out if not man up stick it out and find a better job or better friends.
Good luck...
 
As we have all said and heard before:

No Good Deed, goes unpunished........

Now, I did understand, that this is a teenage daughter. In most of the mother daughter "places" I have seen, from about 13 to 17, the two can't be in the same room. As she has a father, you obviously can't step in there either, but have you tried talking to her, the daughter, one on one?

If you are stuck with her for the rest of the summer, till school starts again, can you use her for anything around the office, however menial that might be?

I'm going to guess, mom here is at the end of her rope also, maybe she has an idea, maybe not. A few minutes alone with her, might reveal enough to solve the issue as well.

Sounds as if you need to have a talk w your buddy too, if he has long term plans for you, what YOU need to make it workable. Like a Keg-a-rator for your office!
 
Be loyal to your word and straight up honest to your friend. Fulfill your obligation to the absolute best you can be and leave with your head and conscience clean. Stay strong, stay patient.
 
It's a question of character, and it's about both of you. I'd say that after reading this third-hand, you've been let down; the original job description was sorely incomplete.

Given this, I don't think you'd be lacking any in character whichever way you'd choose to go. Honestly, if you were to beg off, you' be within your rights, and if you were to stay, you'd have more character than I'd care to invest into such a lose/lose proposition.

I've been in a similar situation and I stuck it out. After that, I simply think I've already paid those dues and consider it to be somebody else's turn to stick their heads into that particular self-sacrificial oven.

Had I known in advance, and it was a deliberate omission of the part of the one who got the favor, I would not have accepted the challenge. A friendship died quietly that day. Screw me once, there can be no twice.

My definition of a friend is of someone whom I can trust utterly with my back turned. Obviously, my true friends can be counted on a single hand.

Greg
 
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It's a question of character, and it's about both of you. I'd say that after reading this third-hand, you've been let down; the original job description was sorely incomplete.

Given this, I don't think you'd be lacking any in character whichever way you'd choose to go. Honestly, if you were to beg off, you' be within your rights, and if you were to stay, you'd have more character than I'd care to invest into such a lose/lose proposition.

I've been in a similar situation and I stuck it out. After that, I simply think I've already paid those dues and consider it to be somebody else's turn to stick their heads into that particular self-sacrificial oven.

Had I known in advance, and it was a deliberate omission of the part of the one who got the favor, I would not have accepted the challenge. A friendship died quietly that day. Screw me once, there can be no twice.

My definition of a friend is of someone whom I can trust utterly with my back turned. Obviously, my true friends can be counted on a single hand.

Greg

I too have figured out I really only have a very few friends, less than one hands worth like you. Once I figured it out, I feel lucky to even have those. There are very few trustworthy men these days, very few.
 
I too have figured out I really only have a very few friends, less than one hands worth like you. Once I figured it out, I feel lucky to even have those. There are very few trustworthy men these days, very few.

I was barely a teenager when my dad held up 5 fingers and said "If you live your life and have 5 friends, real friends, true friends, the kind that you can call at 2am to pull you out of a ditch and they're on their way before you hang up the phone - you'll be a damn lucky man."
 
My definition of a friend is of someone whom I can trust utterly with my back turned. Obviously, my true friends can be counted on a single hand.

Greg[/QUOTE]

Well said. I like the saying "Integrity has no need for a set of rules" as a guideline for how I conduct myself.
Stick out the original commitment is what I would do. I think having a guidelines for when you are done no matter what would help you as then you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Seems if he pushes it for you to do more he is more concerned with himself and his success than with your wellbeing and happiness. I dont play that ball game very well.

Just getting ready to tell a friend he cant stay at my house anymore. He travels to town weekly for work. Works nights and sleeps in our spare room during the day. Doesnt disturb our routines at all. Gone for the weekend,
Got home sunday night to a used whiskey glass in my sink and a couple items that sit on top of the fridge sitting on the counter. Liquor stored above the fridge in a cabinet. Helping yourself to my decent (above $40 a bottle and up) whiskey and not cleaning up put me over the edge. Many things that bug me, i can let go, but crap like this helps me to remember them all and this becomes the straw.....

Venting is good, helping a friend even when it sucks is a good thing to do, a friend not respecting your wants/needs after you make them known is a bad and quick way to ruin a friendship.
 
So, maybe Miss America there is the source of his problem with the manager.

Hardly. "Junior" is way too big for his britches, has no. 2 crumbsnatcher on the way, and a demanding girlfriend who hasn't figured out that it isn't a magical eagle shitting out paychecks. Aside from that, he's a Spanish-speaker and "culturally appropriate" to the neighborhood, unlike the owner, who also doesn't speak a lick of Spanish. Given that, young buck thinks he has him over a barrel. I'm proof otherwise.
 
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I was barely a teenager when my dad held up 5 fingers and said "If you live your life and have 5 friends, real friends, true friends, the kind that you can call at 2am to pull you out of a ditch and they're on their way before you hang up the phone - you'll be a damn lucky man."

I reckon that makes me a really lucky man, at least by that parameter.
 
Finishing the job is a must wether you're friends or not.
 
Finishing the job is a must wether you're friends or not.

For sure. One's word is one's bond. The daycare issues were an unspoken, unrevealed "x factor."
 
He's relying on you heavily.

That works both ways.

If he's relying on you THAT much, you have a lot of leeway and can get away with doing things like telling Lafaunda to SHUT THE FUCK UP and kicking her ass out of the office. Her mom have a problem with that? Good. Then control your fucking kid, or she goes outside to get gang banged by 11 guys all the way home.

It's a win/win. Either she shuts up and you do your job, or she gets mad/your friend gets mad and you're free to go home.
 
You have gotten a lot of good advice, and I cant' think of anything to add. Your friend is lucky to have a friend like you, my hats off to you! Good Luck and hang in there.
 
After reading your posts through the years Veer_G one thing that stands out is.......you are funny. Seriously. So, I suggest you you find a nice undercover spot in the shop that you can place a hidden camera that can capture at least 90% of the activity and 100% of the sound and post the shit on YouTube and make some real money. Or end it as quickly as possible. If he's gotten used to you being there, you're done anyway you look at it.
 
After reading your posts through the years Veer_G one thing that stands out is.......you are funny. Seriously. So, I suggest you you find a nice undercover spot in the shop that you can place a hidden camera that can capture at least 90% of the activity and 100% of the sound and post the shit on YouTube and make some real money. Or end it as quickly as possible. If he's gotten used to you being there, you're done anyway you look at it.

Or since he's a friend, just post the videos here.
 
You had better be nice to that lil girl. She's gonna be your babies mama and you two and gonna be kin. Look at the bright side......her mom may put you in her stable too.

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Like they say in DC: You won't be illin' if you keep using your penicillin.
 
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Sounds like the gig would be ok if the babysitting were not part of it. I would tell the friend the situation with the daycare. It is hurting his bottom line one way or another. He can tell the girl she is no longer welcome there or you go. If the mom has a problem with that she can go too. A phone call to a temp service can have someone at her desk in the morn. Is he running a business or a social welfare program?
In my earlier years I would have suggested smoking a joint before and after work. Maybe one at lunch time also. But that is not solution now. Or is it?
 
He's relying on you heavily.

That works both ways.

If he's relying on you THAT much, you have a lot of leeway and can get away with doing things like telling Lafaunda to SHUT THE FUCK UP and kicking her ass out of the office. Her mom have a problem with that? Good. Then control your fucking kid, or she goes outside to get gang banged by 11 guys all the way home.

It's a win/win. Either she shuts up and you do your job, or she gets mad/your friend gets mad and you're free to go home.

You signed up for this detail, you should hang. Not 1 second longer, unless your friend agrees.

But, there is a lot of real world truth in what zee German said. You are prob. doing this guy a favor…

I FUCKING hate employees. I've got none, and my SO is in medicine. Clinical Pharm D., regional med center w Cardiac and Trauma, Peds., etc. The only thing they ship out is burns.

For the MFW, bitches. 7 on, 7 off. About the time I miss her, she's back, about the time I'm sick of her, she's back on.

She can have ALL the shoes she wants!
 
You signed up for this detail, you should hang. Not 1 second longer, unless your friend agrees.

But, there is a lot of real world truth in what zee German said. You are prob. doing this guy a favor…

I FUCKING hate employees. I've got none, and my SO is in medicine. Clinical Pharm D., regional med center w Cardiac and Trauma, Peds., etc. The only thing they ship out is burns.

For the MFW, bitches. 7 on, 7 off. About the time I miss her, she's back, about the time I'm sick of her, she's back on.

She can have ALL the shoes she wants!

God damned fucking shoes.
 
Sounds like the gig would be ok if the babysitting were not part of it. I would tell the friend the situation with the daycare. It is hurting his bottom line one way or another. He can tell the girl she is no longer welcome there or you go. If the mom has a problem with that she can go too. A phone call to a temp service can have someone at her desk in the morn. Is he running a business or a social welfare program?
In my earlier years I would have suggested smoking a joint before and after work. Maybe one at lunch time also. But that is not solution now. Or is it?
Or eat a brownie. Lasts longer and doesnt smell...LOL
 
The responses in here are GREAT. I can just feel the love and camaraderie, if that's what thing is that's pressing into me insistently from behind.

I did do a video tonight before closing, but the damned rickety AC unit is two feet from my monitor, so the best parts were drowned out. Unfortunately, my buddy is a shooter, so the chances are good that he could see the video and recognize his shop.

Oh, God, I am so frazzled. This dysfunctional theater of the f*cking absurd just goes on and on and on. The other day the one girl was describing the twenty pre-hearing days she did for ag assault, before the charges were dropped, which happened to be at the exact same time that her father was in county. She was amazed that I had never done time. Apparently it's a badge of honor. Who knew?

I've had to give typing lessons. The one girl didn't know what a "foreslash" was when someone was giving her a web address over the phone. I explained where it was, and then said that the "backslash" was on the same key as "the pipe," or |. Apparently, a symbol called "the pipe" should damned well look just like, well, a pipe. Who knew? The other one watched me typing something and told me that I was doing it wrong, because, apparently, you have to depress "caps lock," press the letter key that you want to type as a capital letter, and then release "caps lock" to go on and type in small letters. Who knew?

The first day that I was there, the one clerk had been detailed to police the overgrown parking area. The weed whacker wasn't cutting it on the lower extremities of some of the old growth, so I told her that I had a hatchet in the back of my SUV and that she was welcome to borrow it if she was careful. She came back in with it when she was done, amazed at what a properly maintained tool could do, almost proud of having used it. I laughed and said that it made her look like a Juggalette. It turns out that she is a Juggalette. Who knew?

I so, so hope this kid comes back in tomorrow afternoon full of renewed purpose and vigor. I still haven't told my buddy about all the shit that I found in his browsing history and temporary files.
 
Gotta live up to the name man.

But i would chew the hell out of that kid, and then put her to work. rearrange the supply closet or something, and when she screws it up, make her redo. Pay her something too. Either she'll develop a work ethic, or she will clear out to avoid the work.

Shamir
 
I still haven't told my buddy about all the shit that I found in his browsing history and temporary files.

Friend commandment #3: Thou shalt not judge thy friend no matter how nasty the shit on his computer is.
 
I'm sure his friend would be thrilled with him airing his friends dirty laundry online while supposedly doing his friend a favor.
 
Friend commandment #3: Thou shalt not judge thy friend no matter how nasty the shit on his computer is.

It was the manager's browsing history, not his. But yes, you're right — real friends try to overlook such things.

I'm sure his friend would be thrilled with him airing his friends dirty laundry online while supposedly doing his friend a favor.

Living in that cave gives you a rather dim view of everything. It's not his laundry. Like he said the one day, his experiences as a boss have made him feel like a special-ed teacher.

Two things are for sure:

You are a GOOD friend.

Your buddy OWES you big time.

The week is over. Somebody came in at mid-day yesterday and learned very quickly that most of his job, in his own language, had been assimilated in short order by some pasty-faced dude from the 'burbs. I think he got the message. He was very butt-hurt at first, but as the day went on, he got over it.

The kid got what he needed, my friend got what he needed, and I suppose, somehow, I got something good out of it, too, aside from a week of rice, beans, and pernil. The wife and I did have to laugh, though, this morning, as we realized that I was there about ten hours a day on average, with an eighty-minute total commute, over seven days, with a one-day break, and that she brings in, in less than an hour, what I would have made in an entire long-ass day. Which is to say nothing, of course, of what I bring in every now and then on translation and interpreting.

Thus endeth the lesson. I think I'm going to have a Hollywood morning and a big mug of some Jimmy-from-Toluca Lake gourmet-ass Pulp Fiction coffee. Gentlemen, have ... a ... nice ... day.

:cool:
 
Well done good and faithful servant ! You have earned a long rest!
 
And a great thread runs it course.....