How to be a sniper GF?

S

Sniper-GF

Private
Minuteman
Aug 31, 2010
13
0
50
Copenhagen, Denmark
#1
Hi all - complete newbie here, so bear with me.

I'm the GF of a sniper. He's currently deployed and is right now on a mission somewhere, doing something obviously secret. I want to be as supportive of him as I can be, even though this is obviously also hard on me. The whole "not knowing" is especially tough.

So: For those of you who've been at the other end of this kind of situation, what kind of support would you like to have from your partner at home? What don't you need to hear, what would you like to hear (when you're able to communicate at all, that is)? What kind of things do you appreciate getting from home, if any? What kind of moral support can I show - and how vulnerable can I allow myself to be without it being a possibly dangerous distraction to him?

What's a distraction better to avoid, and what would be a welcome distraction? When he's not out but merely deployed, we use Skype's video chat a lot. Obviously, when he's out, he's off the face of the earth, as far as I'm concerned.

His normal rotation schedule reads something like 105 days deployment, 35 days off. I'm not going to ask him to give up his job - it's a part of who he is and it's what he loves to do. So I need to find a way to deal that will work for me, too.

Any and all input greatly appreciated!
smile.gif
 
#2
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

Welcome to the hide!

Send pictures. That was always the best thing when I was over.

If you have a particular perfume that you wear, spray your letters with it. That was always the best!
wink.gif


Ask him what he needs. Some things are easy to get over there and some things arent.

Hope that helps.
 
#5
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: marduk185</div><div class="ubbcode-body">send me the pics hes busy....in fact snipers are horrible bf's why not talk to someone stateside, just sayin. </div></div>

Surprised this wasn't the first response, still lol'd.
 
#7
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SniperGF</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Appreciate the offer, but I'm not exactly stateside, myself. I'm in Copenhagen, Denmark
wink.gif
</div></div>

For safety reasons change your email address. It back doors to your Facebook account and other personal info.

Cheers.
 
#9
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SniperGF</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Thanks, I had actually considered the perfume trick, but good to hear it confirmed! </div></div>

Don't overdo it though, make him work for it.
 
#10
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

The biggest thing a deployed (soldier/sailor/marine etc) wants to know is that everyone back home is safe and that things are OK. If say a branch falls through the roof, don't tell him about it. Tell him how it's been fixed (aka problem solved). The worst feeling in the world is being 7,000 miles away from being able to do anything about what's going on.

The perfume thing works EVERY TIME!

Local news papers always a +++++

Pictures and cards for no reason. (Don't expect this in return, it just doesn't seem to happen that way)

Cheers,

Doc
 
#11
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: marduk185</div><div class="ubbcode-body">send me the pics hes busy....in fact snipers are horrible bf's why not talk to someone stateside, just sayin.</div></div>

Well that was classy.
 
#15
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: marduk185</div><div class="ubbcode-body">send me the pics hes busy....in fact snipers are horrible bf's why not talk to someone stateside, just sayin. </div></div>

Can you get this guy? Down Jody! Back! Go back to what ever hole or nightclub you came from!


Jody, is like a case of crabs, they are real hard to get rid of.
 
#18
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

Thing is, if you're out for weeks at a time where you can't access computer or email, maybe a good old-fashioned photo and/or letter would be nice. Emails and jpegs are not tactile. They don't "feel" like anything, don't smell like someone you know - and you can't fold them up and put them in your pocket or wallet.

So obviously we email and skype, but I was thinking as a supplement. I love technology, but to me, nothing beats getting an actual, hand-written letter - even today!
 
#19
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

Write him letters and send him email. Tell him about your day. Don't expect too much detailed response from him. If the two of you are serious about making things work start preparing yourself in case he has troubles when he comes home. It can be a long road for someone to get their life back on track when they come home and loosing the things a person cares about just makes that harder.
 
#20
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

He probably isn't coming "home" for another ten years or so - or as long as his body will let him do what he does. It's hard, but doable. Good thing I'm used to living on my own and like my own company.

I know about "trouble". My father was a Vietnam vet who ended up killing himself over feelings of guilt and what-not. Reading his testimony and looking into these things probably puts me somewhat more in the know than many other regular people. Fortunately, my man seems much more with it, but then again, he's still out. Issues like that often don't show up until after they come home and try to live an actual life away from active duty.
 
#21
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

Being a guy in that same situation with a wife and kids at home, the best thing you can do is communication. You're already doing the Skype, but give him a connection while he's out.

Video/audio recordings are great. He can save them to his iPod (or whatever he has) and play them at times he can't communicate with you. Send him a daily MP3 recording of how your day was. That way not only does he get to catch up when he gets back in, but you get to feel the daily connection with him while you're recording it. Short messages of encouragement too. I've been doing this a long time, and I always love getting a little message from my wife of how proud she is of me.

If you email the messages to him, try to keep the file sizes small too. Folks in far off lands don't have much bandwidth to download anything larger than 1-2MB, so keep the resolution settings low on pictures and videos. The last thing a guy wants is to have to wait an hour to download a 30 second message. Download speeds of 1-5 kb/s are common during peak hours.

Lastly, remember that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. If you can mail him things, send him whatever his favorite snack is. Especially if it is something he can't get wherever he is. That one thing he goes after every time he comes home (other than steak, we all go after that), send it to him. Just make sure it is something that ships well and will make it there OK.
 
#23
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

Panty 6 found the best way to make me think of her was to send a 'love card' with th eenvelope filled with those little red shiny hearts. They got into everything. I mean everything. It's been 3 years since OEF VII and I am STILL finding them in my military gear boxes, pouches, etc. Each time I find one it makes me smile just like they did when I was deployed.

The other best thing is on a 'day off' when no one is about in the personal space, is using Yahoo web cam to web cam...nuff said on that
grin.gif
 
#25
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: tucker301</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Sending him that stuff is going to make it more difficult for him to get it up for the local strange.

Leave him be. </div></div>

Fell out of my chair laughing!
 
#26
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: tucker301</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Sending him that stuff is going to make it more difficult for him to get it up for the local strange.

Leave him be. </div></div>

Not if he tapes the pics to their backs....just sayin!
 
#27
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

Sniper GF, you can actually take a subscription to a local in the states paper and have it forwarded to your sniper, its not real expensive and some small papers will foot the postage if you let them know where and why its goin overseas. Lots of small town papers are very supportive of our fightin troops. Dont expect that kind of curteousy of large liberal rags.
 
#29
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

One really important thing to let your sniper boyfriend know things are normal is to tell him all the time about the really nice young man that is always over wanting to help out while he's gone. How the friend always comes over at any hour, just to let you know he is there for you. Tell him he is just a friend, that will make your boyfriend really relaxed and he won't worry so much about you while he is gone.

Make sure to tell him how much emotional help the friend has been and that you really enjoy his company, how he is willing to just sit down and talk about feelings, how he is funny, smart, and always willing to haul in groceries, take out the trash, and sit next to you on the couch and just hold you while you are thinking of your sniper. That will be a relief for your sniper, knowing someone is at home taking care of his girlfriend while he is fighting the war on terror. It's the least you can do for him, he will thank you.............
 
#30
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

^^^^cute

don't bring up his work and understand what he does (or try to lie really good that you understand what he does) and don't ask why he does it or any of the "how do feel about what you do stuff" - unless of course he asks.

bad enough worrying and having the pressure about getting himself capped if he has to itch his man parts or something like that.

the girl at home is the escape, don't contaminate it with what he may be trying to escape from, even id that escape is for only a few seconds. unless of course he asks why you don't ask.

let him know your there for him for the "REGULAR" person he is and not the sniper that he is. it's great break from the daily meat grinder he's in.

 
#31
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: USMCj</div><div class="ubbcode-body">NOBODY? </div></div>

Crossed my mind as well.
It's kind of got that feel about it.
 
#32
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: tucker301</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: USMCj</div><div class="ubbcode-body">NOBODY? </div></div>

Crossed my mind as well.
It's kind of got that feel about it. </div></div>

I think it's a little too mild, but maybe.
 
#33
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

After being gone for a long time I would say just keep reassuring him that you are there and will be there for him!
He will see some of his buddies get the Dear John letters and that will surely screw with his head!!!
Communicate any and every way possible as frequent as you can. Get some video and send it to him (I don't suggest sending anything uber racy since you don't know who could get their hands on it)!
 
#34
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SniperGF</div><div class="ubbcode-body">He probably isn't coming "home" for another ten years or so - or as long as his body will let him do what he does. It's hard, but doable. Good thing I'm used to living on my own and like my own company.

I know about "trouble". My father was a Vietnam vet who ended up killing himself over feelings of guilt and what-not. Reading his testimony and looking into these things probably puts me somewhat more in the know than many other regular people. Fortunately, my man seems much more with it, but then again, he's still out. Issues like that often don't show up until after they come home and try to live an actual life away from active duty. </div></div>
The issue of being a survivor.

Letters will be great! Understand they make take a month plus to get to him! Mail is very slow and difficult out there so patience is key but write, and write often! He will appreciate it!
 
#35
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sniper2ndrep</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Please..this entire thread is a crock..but ill play along too..I reccomend you send him a fleshlight with SNIPERGF written on it.. </div></div>

Great idea! Give me yours, and I'll be happy to pass it on!
 
#36
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TOP PREDATOR</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
the girl at home is the escape, don't contaminate it with what he may be trying to escape from, even id that escape is for only a few seconds. unless of course he asks why you don't ask.

let him know your there for him for the "REGULAR" person he is and not the sniper that he is. it's great break from the daily meat grinder he's in.

</div></div>

Thanks - solid piece of advice, there. Also thanks to the rest of the (serious and well-meant) suggestions.

As for the rest of you? I don't really care, so feel free to take your ridicule and negative vibes elsewhere
smile.gif
 
#38
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

Let's see. I'm the princess of care-packages. A lot of people have already mentioned good things, but you'll know what to send his way (because you know him the best.) So ask him, if there's anything specific that he needs that he can't get where he's at.

Favorite candies (just make sure they won't melt.)
Home-made treats, if you like to bake
Drink mixes
Pictures, lots of 'em.

I do generic care-packages for soldiers I don't know, female and male, buut when I send them to friends overseas, personalizing them is the best part. So think about what he likes. Got any inside jokes? Take advantage of that! It'll make him smile.

(Anecdote warning!) One of the coolest things I've done was the FIRST time I ever sent anything overseas. We had an assignment (in school) to write a letter to a soldier in Iraq. I knew nothing about the guy I was writing to, but I took creative liberty. While everyone else wrote 1 page generic "thank you" letters, I kept a dairy, for a week, I wrote down every thought I had the good, the bad, and the ugly. It went over to Iraq, and did exactly what I hoped it would! The guy who got it said he was thoroughly entertained. We've been friends for 3 years now, and he's home.
smile.gif
Consider doing that! Since he's your boyfriend, he'd probably appreciate it in a deeper way, and you could do it for more than a week. He likely won't be able to read it all at once, but he'll be able to go through it when he misses you! And don't forget to leave kiss marks on things! Put on some red lipstick and pucker up, haha.

There's a million cute ideas I can think of, so if you want to talk about it PM me.
smile.gif
 
#39
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

Your english is near perfect for someone in Denmark...

Send him your panties. More skid marks the better, reminds him of that familiar smell of home.
 
#40
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: KYshooter338$</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Your english is near perfect for someone in Denmark...

Send him your panties. More skid marks the better, reminds him of that familiar smell of home. </div></div>
ew-baby-face.jpg

Yeah don't do this.
 
#41
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SniperGF</div><div class="ubbcode-body">His normal rotation schedule reads something like 105 days deployment, 35 days off.</div></div>

Am I the only one confused by this? I wasn't aware of such a rotation for any combat arms fields. Is he a contractor?

Anyway just don't break his balls about stupid shit. Of course this applies irrespective of his geographic location.
 
#42
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Minx</div><div class="ubbcode-body">There's a million cute ideas I can think of, so if you want to talk about it PM me.
smile.gif
</div></div>

Thanks - may well do!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: KYshooter338$</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Your english is near perfect for someone in Denmark... </div></div>

I'm half American and have dual citizenship. My English ought to be as good as most natives'. You'll be sorry if you try me at Scrabble!
 
#43
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SniperGF</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
As for the rest of you? I don't really care, so feel free to take your ridicule and negative vibes elsewhere
smile.gif
</div></div>

Good on you for this one. Some of the "haters" on here are still trying to figure out why they're shooting by themselves in bed unless they pay for it. Every sniper needs a good partner in the field and at home, and it sounds like you are one of those. Keep it up.
 
#44
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

One stands beside, not behind, their partner. One accomplishes more with open ears and a closed mouth than otherwise. One accepts, rather than judges. One recognizes that nothing in combat is easy, and that it doesn't all just turn off and go away like a light switch once the deployment is over. Most of all, one continually reminds one's partner that somebody's covering their back on the homefront.

When I was deployed (as an Engneer Electrician), my daydreams and 'ultimate plans' were simplistic, exaggerated, and as monumental as they were impractical. We all did it, and we all came crashing back to earth once the reality of homecoming made itself obvious and unavoidable.

This is when we needed our partners most, and when we had the hardest time accepting anything, including that partner's support. One must hang in there, through the irrationality, through the accumulated resentment at the world and its totally incomprehensible incongruities. One must weather the storm, standing fast and true. From that stand will come the foundation of a long and worthwhile relationship. Falter, and things go South from that point in a hurry.

Being a SniperGF, being any kind of a SoldierGF, at such a time is when the relationship finds its mettle. If you can't do that, don't lead him on.

Greg
 
#45
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Greg Langelius *</div><div class="ubbcode-body">One stands beside, not behind, their partner. One accomplishes more with open ears and a closed mouth than otherwise. One accepts, rather than judges. One recognizes that nothing in combat is easy, and that it doesn't all just turn off and go away like a light switch once the deployment is over. Most of all, one continually reminds one's partner that somebody's covering their back on the homefront.

When I was deployed (as an Engneer Electrician), my daydreams and 'ultimate plans' were simplistic, exaggerated, and as monumental as they were impractical. We all did it, and we all came crashing back to earth once the reality of homecoming made itself obvious and unavoidable.

This is when we needed our partners most, and when we had the hardest time accepting anything, including that partner's support. One must hang in there, through the irrationality, through the accumulated resentment at the world and its totally incomprehensible incongruities. One must weather the storm, standing fast and true. From that stand will come the foundation of a long and worthwhile relationship. Falter, and things go South from that point in a hurry.

Being a SniperGF, being any kind of a SoldierGF, at such a time is when the relationship finds its mettle. If you can't do that, don't lead him on.

Greg</div></div>

You should do weddings.
 
#46
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

I would love a nice vacation up there in Denmark but sheesh when I was there for like 4 days TDY for POTUS we tried to go cheap and eat at like McD's and a Big Mac meal was like 25 USD! WTF?

Good thoughts up in this thread and get in touch with Minx for sure!
 
#49
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Greg Langelius *</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Yeah, 'bert; I know...

I <span style="font-style: italic">hate</span> it when it does that...</div></div>

It beats having "love is patient, love is kind" read by someone too mindless to elucidate their own wisdom and without even any sort of context regarding the origins of translation.
 
#50
Re: How to be a sniper GF?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SniperGF</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Minx</div><div class="ubbcode-body">There's a million cute ideas I can think of, so if you want to talk about it PM me.
smile.gif
</div></div>

Thanks - may well do!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: KYshooter338$</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Your english is near perfect for someone in Denmark... </div></div>

I'm half American and have dual citizenship. My English ought to be as good as most natives'. You'll be sorry if you try me at Scrabble! </div></div>

SniperGF, just remember Minx is a 17 year-old girl so I hope you have more experience than her at pleasing a man.
 
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