Kidney donors (updated 2017)

coldboremiracle

coldboremiracle

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    • Jul 7, 2009
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    #1
    Check end of thread for update.


    December 2010
    So my father has had diabetes his whole life and it has destroyed his kidneys at this point, he will have to start dialysis soon, which will be even harder on him. Myself and my brother are the only two family members left that could donate, I was curious how many of you out there have been through this thing, and what good/bad you may have to say about it. thanks.
    smile.gif


     
    Last edited:
    #2
    Re: Kidney donors?

    Family or not it is one helluva commitment, I don't envy the decisions you have before you.

    The easy part is that it is very painful surgery. It gets harder when you consider that diabetes has both behavioral and genetic components to its causes. Therefor if you donate a kidney now you may be compromising your ability to deal with the disease later. Even with a good donor, the surgery on your fathers end has many potential complications which may still render it unsuccessful.

    Do your research.

    I would also look into seeking out an opinion of a physician who is not involved in your fathers treatment. That increases the chance that the information you will receive has a bias towards your health. I don't mean that to sound cold, just that IMO it is best to gather as much objective information as possible. This is by no means an easy decision for anyone involved and its this info that will assist both you and your father to make the best decision for your family.

    Good luck, Craig
     
    #3
    Re: Kidney donors?

    Thanks Craig, It actually has been a pretty positive experience. Fortunately for me, there are a TON of tests they are running on me beforehand to find ANYTHING that may be wrong with me, or could go wrong in the future, so its kindoff a double edge sword. If they find something wrong, I will know about it where I otherwise might not of, or they wont find anything wrong and I'll be able to help my Dad out. Theres a whole group of people involved are helping and I hope I can donate because my Dad seems worse every time I see him.
     
    #5
    Re: Kidney donors?

    Wife's brother suffered kidney failure at age 21 and rejected two transplants. My wife was tested to see if she could donate. I was on pins and needles throughout the process. I couldn't voice my objections, but the entire time I'm thinking, "What if something happens during the operation? What if something happens to her other kidney?"

    I admit I was relieved (and feeling a little guilty) when she didn't match.

    If it had been my brother, I would have donated, if possible.

    My prayers are with you and your family.
     
    #6
    Re: Kidney donors?

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EddieNFL</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Wife's brother suffered kidney failure at age 21 and rejected two transplants. My wife was tested to see if she could donate. I was on pins and needles throughout the process. I couldn't voice my objections, but the entire time I'm thinking, "What if something happens during the operation? What if something happens to her other kidney?"

    I admit I was relieved (and feeling a little guilty) when she didn't match.

    If it had been my brother, I would have donated, if possible.

    My prayers are with you and your family. </div></div>

    No way would I be a fan of letting my wife do this, but she's also the mother of our child so...
     
    #7
    Re: Kidney donors?

    I honestly dont want to do it, it does scare me, all the what if's and such. I have a wife and two little kids and alot of future to think about. But when I found out about my Dad, I didn't even think twice, I just thought to myself that what ever it takes to make him better. He is 62, and in otherwise great shape, he is a hard working honest guy who nobody can find anything bad to say about, his father(my grandpa) died in January from a heart attack, he was the same way everybody loved him. I cant think of what life would be like without him, so I must do this. It is strange to me how very real this is all of a sudden, you always think you would do anything, and I will, but its strange how thoughts I never considered have popped into my head. Thanks for the prayers.
     
    #10
    Re: Kidney donors?

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: UKDslayer</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Nobody can make that decision for you, but here is some information that might help weigh pros and cons:
    www.livingdonorsonline.org/kidney/kidney5.htm

    The mortality rate for kidney donation is 0.03%, ; the well-publicized recent cases of fatalities in Denver and Boston were liver donations I believe. </div></div>

    UK, you're right it was liver, my bad!
     
    #11
    Re: Kidney donors?

    A friends father recently needed a kidney transplant.
    It ended up her husband was a suitable donor and he volunteered.
    The transplant procedure was in January and her father just passed from complications.
     
    #12
    Re: Kidney donors?

    My twin brother was a closer match than I and donated one to my sister in fall of '91. She was in tough shape. He had some complications from surgery from one of the meds but as soon as he was stable they wheeled him in to see Sis, he said the difference in how she looked prior to surgery and such a short time afterwards was unbelievable and was worth every bit of pain.

    She then had a pancrease transplant about 4yrs later and has done pretty well. Hers diabetes started when she was 10 and she was 32 at time of surgery and brother 35. Her kidney function has deteriorated over the yrs(which is normal and surely expected without a pancrease transplant also) and has been given 1-5yrs before another transplant. She would have been gone long ago if not for a transplant. She has had many issues related to rejection, infections etc but has gotten to see both her children finish school, get married and give her grandchildren.

    If you have any issues with donating physcologically(sp) you need to discuss those with the Dr's and your father. If you have any reservations or feeling pressure from family to do it then you are NOT a good choice. Explain your fears etc to your father and family. Your father shouldn't expect you to sacrifice your life or your families future if you do not donate. DO NOT let your family or brother pressure you and make you feel guilty. If you cannot do it and have complete peace of mind with your decision then don't!!!!

    My older brother wouldn't even consider taking the first blood test more less anything else. He wouldn't even discuss his fears and reservations with my sister which to this day has bothered her. She says all he would have had to do was tell her he couldn't do it and she would have been understanding. It was his refusal to discuss it with her that hurt, an emotional and physocological issue and not the kidney donation itself.

    Again explain your fears to your father and whomever else. It is not something to take lightly as there can be complications. One of brothers kidney's had the artery wrapped around it in such a way that only 1 kidney was an option. Dr's and surgeon's will not use you as a donor if they know you have reservations. Least it was that way at Mayo with Sis.

    HTH

    Respectfully,
    Dennis
     
    #14
    Re: Kidney donors?

    My father in law was on the waiting list at UAB for 4 years for a kidney. He was on in home dialysis for the entire 4 years. Constantly teathered to a machine with a hose. Neither my wife nor I were able to donate. The operation was the easy part. The next 6 months after the operation was some sort of cruel punishment. He fought rejection at every turn and finally got it under control. He says he would do it again ten times over though to have the freedom that he has now.

    Good luck and my prayers go out to you. The outcome is not always bad but the battle only starts with the operation.
     
    #15
    Re: Kidney donors?

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: coldboremiracle</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Thankfully my family wouldn't force me to do anything, and they dont need to either, as uncomfortable as I may be, I will do it for my Dad. All of my good intentions dont change the possibility of tragedy though, so I still am nervous. </div></div>

    Guess the point I was trying to make is doing it 'because you WANT to', not 'because you feel you HAVE to'!!! I felt as you that it was my obligation and duty as her brother to donate, twin brother felt the same and matched 4 of 6 of needed tests where I was 3 of. If I would have been a closer match I am sure though the Doc's @ Mayo would have found my then undisclosed prolapsed mitral valve/heart murmur or my conductivity issues with upper and lower chambers and would have never given the ok for me to donate. That all showed up for me almost 3yrs to the day later.

    I fully understand your position as I knew I would never forgive myself if I never at least took the first blood test like my older brother refused to consider. She was my ONLY Sis just like you're ONLY Dad.

    Things went really well then and now with nearly 20 more yrs of trasnplant experiences I am sure technology has made things hundreds of percent better with less issues.

    Good luck an don't feel guilty about being nervous. Having a family of your own it is understandable and expected!

    Respectfully,
    Dennis
     
    #16
    Re: Kidney donors?

    if you have the cash go to china and get one. after you check in the hospital they take your blood type, go across the street to the prison, find a matching doner, put a bullet in his head and wallah! fresh kidney! alot cheaper too.
     
    #17
    Re: Kidney donors?

    Coldbore,I can't give you any advice,but my thoughts and prayers are with you.My wife is a liver transplant patient,I joined this forum while she was in the hospital a year ago.If someone had not have died,and donated,she would not be here now.Not the same thing but this just hits too close to home,good luck and God bless you, Pete
     
    #18
    Re: Kidney donors?

    My cousin has undergone 2 kidney transplants, one when he was a little kid and another one a few years ago when he was about 20 years old. I kinda know the feelings you are having since I was pretty close to my cousin. Before ever going for the blood test that eliminated me as a possible donor I had made up my mind that if compatable I would donate. That said, I was relieved when I found that I couldn't donate to him. He recieved his first kidney from his mom, the second one he ended up getting from a woman who had died in a car wreck. It's probably not that tough a decision to make, being that it's your dad, but the decision is pretty uncomfortable to deal with. Prayers for your family are inbound.
     
    #20
    Re: Kidney donors?

    Update: so Its all a go, I have my last appt. on the 1st of Dec. to get my guts all felt up. The surgery is scheduled for december 7th, we'll both go in, they are gonna pull one of my kidneys out, and add it to his two. I seem to get more nervous every day, but at the same time I feel better about it too. My mind cant seem to get off the damn catheter they are gonna shove up there
    cry.gif
    I'm no good with things being stuck in me. It will all be worth it though if we both come out good.
     
    #21
    Re: Kidney donors?

    Prayers sent for the both of you. It will work out.

    Just remember that when they pull the catheter out that your winky will stretch a mile before it will tear an inch. You won't really feel nothing when they put it in, I am sure you'll have it sucked in and the nurse will have to stick a finger up your ass and holler SNAKE just to get ahold of it!
    wink.gif
    Unless it is her first attempt it won't take her long to wrestle the boa into submission and feed him 18" of plastic tubing.lol Coming out will open yer eyes a bit but the excrutiating, mind blowing pain will subside in a few hrs,well actually minutes
    smile.gif
    Trying to make it humorous so you can think of my description while it is happening to ease the anxiety. The drain tubes may actually be a bit more painfull but afterwards NONE OF IT will be remembered more than the first look at the recipient afterwards and their future!!!!

    Hope this helps and remember it is humor to lighten the mood. OH, and that 'bulb' on the end of the catheter....it might look the size of a lemon when it comes out and you may compare it to that or a baseball with your friends and family but it is really much smaller.
    smile.gif


    You're in the minority and you should be proud of your caring and generosity.

    Respectfully,
    Dennis
     
    #24
    Re: Kidney donors?

    If one of you can give a kidney, I would have one stipulation, his A1C must be below 6.8 for one year, if your fathers A1C is high in the 8's or 9's one of you is wasting a kidney on him, sorry to be an ass but I have Diabetes and and have watched a friend with somebody elses Kidney not take the steps to prolong his life, he died last month, his A1C was never below 8, and the replacement kidney stopped working 8 months ago, my A1C is almost always in the mid 6's, I hit 7.1 once and it pissed me the fuck off, again I hate to be a ass but people who don't take care of themselfs die slow painful deaths with Diabetes, and nobody is at fault but them.
     
    #25
    Re: Kidney donors?

    Well, thats not a problem, my Dad tries to take very good care of himself, if he wasn't paying VERY close attention to his disease, he'd be dead already. My mother and youngest bro have come home to find him face down in the driveway with dry blood on the concrete more than once, so Im not worried about him not taking care of himself.

    Thanx

    You too MM
    wink.gif
     
    #26
    Re: Kidney donors?

    Well, this is it!! in less than 24 hours I will be in the hospital. I get to start the unpleasant procedure of cleaning out my bowels this evening, and then tomorrow morning its chop time. My fears and emotions have been up and down, but Im alright. I can only hope for the best and believe in it now. If your the praying type, think of us please.
    blush.gif

    I'll let you know how it goes when I'm back. Thanks.
     
    #33
    Re: Kidney donors?

    as of this morning CBM is still with us and both he and his father are doing well. i checked up on them in the hospital and everything appeared to be intact and he was reading a copy of tactical operator magazine. he will likely be discharged from the hospital today. thanks snipers hide crew for your thoughts and prayers.
     
    #35
    Re: Kidney donors?

    Great to hear both are doing well. With only 1 kidney he won't be able to write his full name in the snow now, will take 2 runs at it!!!!
    wink.gif



    Still laugh at twin brother just before he gave Sis a kidney. Told her the only condition was she had to 'stand up' while using it because it would work better!!!
    smile.gif
     
    #36
    Re: Kidney donors?

    Negative, bladder capacity hasn't changed, still peeing a full 250ml at a time. Just got home, enjoying some lazy time.
    Update: this was THE most pain full thing I have ever been through (though I have never had any other surgeries or even broken a bone for that matter) None the less it was absolutely terrible. Within hours of my surgery, I was to get up and walk(the norm with abdominal surgery I guess) to help revive my digestive system. My abdomen was pumped full of air to aid in kidney removal, obviously they couldn't get all the air out and that shit hurts!!! I had bubbles floating around in my shoulders and everywhere else, it felt like there was so much bloating that I couldn't breath. For the first couple days I had to breath very shallow to avoid sharp pain. So anyways like I said they made me get up and walk as much as I could bear, at first every step hurt, but it got better as I moved more, it helped work the air out.
    To add insult to injury my father was up running circles around me dragging his catheter behind him like a loose dog on a leash. It at least made me feel better to see his so well. The very first day after the surgery he was visibly better than before, his face was clearer as were his eyes. he didn't seam as tired or worn out. Apparently the surgeons say I have big kidneys, so it is doing quite well in him. It started working almost imediately, and he was filling up his baggy in no time. The doc's also said that his "numbers" look as good as any normal persons kidney function, so I'm pretty happy.
    As for me, Other than the pain and suffering from the operation, I seem to be fine. No complications yet, I still peee like always. SDWW was right, pulling that catheter out was VERY unpleasant, but, overall I wasn't too terrified.

    Thanks to all for the well wishing, and the prayers. I hope to be up to full SAAMI speed as soon as possible. And cant wait to get up and do some trigger squeezin.
    wink.gif
     
    #39
    Re: Kidney donors?

    Wasn't going to tell you till afterwards about the horrendous pain my brother said he had also after the surgery(didn't want to cause alot of anxiety
    smile.gif
    ). He had a reaction to some pain med and couldn't hardly breathe or tell the nurse what was happening. He said he thought he was gonna croak there for a while and was scary as shit. However, he said the improvement Sis showed just hours after surgery was worth every painfull minute!!!!

    Edited to ask....Did the cathater removal stretch it enough to make the difference noticeable to your significant other
    smile.gif
    Not trying to be creepy or anything, just curious!LOL
     
    #40
    Re: Kidney donors?

    CBM
    Glad to hear that you are recovering, and that your dad is also. I have also heard that the doner seems to experience more discomfort during recovery. That will pass and you will be up to SAMMI soon, and be glad you donated. Bill
     
    #41
    Re: Kidney donors?

    SD, no stretching was noted by either party. I did notice that there is a slightly "larger presence" underneath though. I am told it is just fluid and should go away, I shall try and convince my wife that it NEEDS to go away fast
    grin.gif


    Spindrift, I can tell you for sure that the pain is worse for the donor. My ex-kidney was placed in the front of my dads abdomen, just to the side of his bladder. so he did not have to endure the deep intrusion into his guts like me, he is still in the hospital today (just got back from seeing him) he is still doing well. He's had just a couple of complications (not kidney) that are keeping him from coming home just yet, but it looks like he will be home tomorrow. He'll be back to playing around in his yard and feeding his birds soon.
     
    #43
    Re: Kidney donors?

    Good to hear! I can't imagine how happy you are to be done with it and to see how much better he looked when you first saw him. Every time you start to hurt, just think about how many more years you will have the old man around! Take care and have a great Christmas.

    Kelly
     
    #47
    Re: Kidney donors?

    First time I have seen this! Glad everything has gone smooth so far and we will be sending prayers that it will continue in the future! Awesome story and what a great job your parents did raising you!
     
    #48
    Re: Kidney donors?

    Congrats - hope you both are doing well. Remember - hydrate that kidney constantly - drink 4 - 5 glasses of water a day.

    I received an SPK (simultaneous pancreas kidney)6 months ago.
    I had type 1 diabetes for 22 years and about 2 years ago started hemo dialysis. Was on the Univ of MD transplant list for about 1.5 years then got the call to come in - cadaver donor. I was out of the hospital and home recovering after 2 weeks and back at the office in 6 weeks. No insulin, no dialysis, creatinine is 1.2 and haven't had a blood sugar over 105 since the surgery (and I have been eating lots of Klondike bars) I can honestly say I haven't felt this good since I was 16.. It has truly changed my life in every way - not just physically.

    Being a live donor or even part of a matrix donation is a very personal decision. Being a organ donor after you pass saves lives. I hope everyone takes the time to consider the impact they can make when the time comes.
     
    #49
    Re: Kidney donors?

    Dads new kidney seems to be doing better now than it was in me (my luck they would take the better of the two) his creat. number is like 1.1 while mine is like 1.5. they have been working with his blood sugar level it is still higher than desired, but it should come down now that he's settling in. We'll keep workin on it.
     
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