Today at 5:57 AM
Breaking news
Santa arrested in Philadelphia. Reportedly as Santa was going down chimneys saying Ho Ho Ho. Santa was told to stop his hateful rhetoric against VP elect Cumswalla. Santa persisted in this hate speech and was taken into custody by Philly SWAT. Five reindeer were shot when Santa attempted an escape proclaiming that children through the world needed gifts.
The surviving four reindeer have been sent to a reeducation camp where they will be retrained to pull a float in gay pride parades.