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My wife is a retard.....

Nostradumbass

Nostradumbass

Falconer
Supporter
Full Member
Minuteman
    • Sep 7, 2009
    864
    311
    NE Texas
    It's valentines day so I've been pretending to care about all the gossip my wife's been unloading on me, and finally managed to escape.
    It was a perfect day for shooting distance, so I went and made accurate hits on steel at 1500yds with my 338 Norma. Believe me I was on cloud nine!
    Walking in the door, I exclaimed to the wife on the 1500 yd hits....she just looked at me concentrating and said, "is that like a football field?" My smile left, and I just walked by her and put up my gear.
    I guess the lesson learned here is she doesn't care any more about my life than I do hers....and she sucks at math
    smile.gif
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    Sounds familiar... At least you got her thinking, all mine would have said is "yes dear.."
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    Look on the bright side:

    If your wife wasn't a retard you would still be single.
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    Dude if you have been telling her (---) = 6 inches since you have known her; it makes perfect sense that 1500 m is like a football field
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    As long as math isnt the only thing she sucks at you are better off than most married men!

    I've been married forever it seems, your spouse is a reflection of yourself. If she is a retard and you decided to marry her...

    Just saying
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    1500Y = 1 Football field
    This means she knows that 1" = 15"
    The 'retarded wife' now has a length problem with math. How did it happen? Here it is:
    Oh honey, no, my package is 7", not the 2" you said. After hearing this for years, her eyes now see short length

    Maybe she needs to hear this:

    <object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/P1Y3bznYpMA&feature=related"></param> <param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/P1Y3bznYpMA&feature=related" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"> </embed></object>
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    Ill tell her you said so...........
    whistle.gif
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    all my asks is did you kill anything.

    If in the affirmative, she is glad. She was a taxidermist a few years ago - hates certain animals and is glad to see them shot.
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nostradumbass</div><div class="ubbcode-body">It's valentines day so I've been pretending to care about all the gossip my wife's been unloading on me, and finally managed to escape.
    It was a perfect day for shooting distance, so I went and made accurate hits on steel at 1500yds with my 338 Norma. Believe me I was on cloud nine!
    Walking in the door, I exclaimed to the wife on the 1500 yd hits....she just looked at me concentrating and said, "is that like a football field?" My smile left, and I just walked by her and put up my gear.
    I guess the lesson learned here is she doesn't care any more about my life than I do hers....and she sucks at math
    smile.gif
    </div></div>


    i read threw this with curiosity and when i got to the spot where you said you went out to shoot on v day i just new something bad was going to happen, and when you got back to the house told your wife about the long hits and then got to her reaction i just, hahah well i pretty much busted up laughing..... haha that is some super funny shit, and i can totally imaged you probably just closed your eyes and was like "wtf"

    pretty good story
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">she doesn't care any more about my life than I do hers</span></div></div>

    any one who speaks bad about his wife on a public forum like this proves to me when i think...., "WHAT AN ASSHOLE" !!
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    You know Pete....you're right, I am an asshole! And I'm deep in the doghouse now since I left the computer on and the wife read this thread.
    Believe me my mouth has got me in deep shit again....

    That Crazy woman just posted on facebook that I have an anal fisting fetish.....why I telling y'all this, I don't know. I guess she paid me back....
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nostradumbass</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You know Pete....you're right, I am an asshole! And I'm deep in the doghouse now since I left the computer on and the wife read this thread.
    Believe me my mouth has got me in deep shit again....

    <span style="color: #FF0000">That Crazy woman just posted on facebook that I have an anal fisting fetish</span>.....why I telling y'all this, I don't know. I guess she paid me back.... </div></div>

    So, does that make it look like she's kinky and lets you???? could be taken differently than she intended
    grin.gif
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: zink14</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Dude if you have been telling her (---) = 6 inches since you have known her; it makes perfect sense that 1500 m is like a football field </div></div>

    This Made Me LMAO!!
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nostradumbass</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You know Pete....you're right, I am an asshole! And I'm deep in the doghouse now since I left the computer on and the wife read this thread.
    Believe me my mouth has got me in deep shit again....

    That Crazy woman just posted on facebook that I have an anal fisting fetish.....why I telling y'all this, I don't know. I guess she paid me back.... </div></div>
    LMAO!!!!
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    So you went out shooting on Vday without your wife? Strike one, mine would be pissed if I left her home. And you called her a retard on a public forum? That's wrong. She is family and such a lack of loyalty to family calls into question a man's character. Then you leave this thread up for her to find and read? Incompetence at bad behavior always equals punishment. As far as the anal fisting fetish, well, to each their own, but one of two things. If you are jacked up enough to want her hand up your ass and she is still with you, you have no right to trash her anywhere. Same if it is the other way around and she is tolerating your, ummm, idiosyncrasies. And telling all of us the details of your sex life is neither appreciated nor a positive indicator of your intelligence. In truth, I linked to this thread to see what kind of person trashes their wife on a public forum. Now I wish I hadn't.
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    LMAO!!! HAHAHA! I love the name of the thread. Seriously blew soda out my nose when I read it
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    so if she got back at you on facebook the only lodgical thing to do next is post dirty pics of her on here......jus sayin
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: VAJayJayPunisher</div><div class="ubbcode-body">so if she got back at you on facebook the only lodgical thing to do next is post dirty pics of her on here......jus sayin </div></div>

    +100.... HAHA
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nostradumbass</div><div class="ubbcode-body">It's valentines day so I've been pretending to care about all the gossip my wife's been unloading on me, and finally managed to escape.
    It was a perfect day for shooting distance, so I went and made accurate hits on steel at 1500yds with my 338 Norma. Believe me I was on cloud nine!
    Walking in the door, I exclaimed to the wife on the 1500 yd hits....she just looked at me concentrating and said, "is that like a football field?" My smile left, and I just walked by her and put up my gear.
    I guess the lesson learned here is she doesn't care any more about my life than I do hers....and she sucks at math
    smile.gif
    </div></div>

    Ahh, it's not so bad. Be glad she is happy to see you go and spend some time doing what you like, on V-day.

    My wife is kinda like that too, she often feigns enthusiasm in my shooting passions when I tell her how it went, and i'm probably getting into technical details she has no interest in. It's good though, it's coming from the right place. She's glad I have "man things" that I enjoy doing.
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    Better go make her a Sammich .



    PS: see my post on the lucky SOB who's wife got him the 4500NV , seems to work both sides .....:)
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: KIDGLOCK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Better go make her a Sammich .



    PS: see my post on the lucky SOB who's wife got him the 4500NV , seems to work both sides .....:) </div></div>
    He doesn't appear to be the norm.
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    Well, at least you don't have to change your moniker. Well-chosen.
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: netranger6</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Vajayjjay has a point, and the hot girlfriend thread can be reborn!! </div></div> I think I now know who got that thread locked, and who ever that guy is an asshole.
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    Well, my wife spoke to me this morning, so I guess things are getting better. I honestly never thought she'd get so mad....
    Divorce is definitely out of the question! Two kids and she claimed she would fight for half of my guns!!!
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    Yeah, my wife busted me looking at that thread about the Porn movie, the one where all the people were cartoonized. She wasn't happy. But, 15 years. What can she do really.
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: dbateman</div><div class="ubbcode-body">^ who was it !!!!!
    we need to know </div></div>

    I'm going to look through that thread if its still up, and see if he made any negative posts to it.
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ChadTRG42</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nostradumbass</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You know Pete....you're right, I am an asshole! And I'm deep in the doghouse now since I left the computer on and the wife read this thread.
    Believe me my mouth has got me in deep shit again....

    That Crazy woman just posted on facebook that I have an anal fisting fetish.....why I telling y'all this, I don't know. I guess she paid me back.... </div></div>
    LMAO!!!!
    </div></div>
    Any woman that would get you back by by saying that you have an anal fisting fetish is definatly a keeper. That rocks! My wife likes to shoot but gets bored when I get all geeked out about it. What can we do.
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    I think it is still up I think who ever it was was giving some of the girls a hard time
    not to sure ...
    thats just what I remember from when it all happened
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: notquiteright</div><div class="ubbcode-body">As long as math isnt the only thing she sucks at you are better off than most married men!

    I've been married forever it seems, your spouse is a reflection of yourself. If she is a retard and you decided to marry her...

    Just saying </div></div>

    Now see, just when I thought I agreed with almost nothing this guy says, he goes and writes this gem!

    Seriously, even on our worst days, I wouldn't post something so nasty about the mother of my children.

    Never go against the family, Fredo.
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Piston Pete</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">she doesn't care any more about my life than I do hers</span></div></div>

    any one who speaks bad about his wife on a public forum like this proves to me when i think...., "WHAT AN ASSHOLE" !! </div></div>

    Coming from this clown I wouldn't get to wound up at what he thinks of you OP.
     
    Re: My wife is a retard.....

    Switchblade......99% of the time I keep my wife on a pedistol. But every now and then she does say something retarded! This being gun-related I thought I'd share it with y'all.

    I do love my wife
    smile.gif
     
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