In the distant past the universe was populated with the dumbest motherfuckers to have ever lived. They managed to invent long distance space travel with no radar or method of collision avoidance. Sadly, for all their technology these stupid bastards had never heard of the dangers of hitting other objects in space. Even if the missed meteors and random other chunks of shit, they would hit planets and stars they were so fucking stupid.
So, they hire a one-man crew to haul a ship full of idiots right past earth the day before the biggest asteroid strike in the planet's history. Since he is flying world's worst spaceship it hits the asteroid then the planet. No biggie, he has a button to push for help. They gave him a bottle of water and a small caliber rifle to live on if shit went south. While it might seem this crap script was written by a 7yo with brain damage, trust me it was written by someone dumber than a 7yo kid. To hide the shitty CGI and dismal special effects it was shot entirely at night. Sadly, 65 million years ago, the sun only came up for about three hours a week. This allowed all the plants to grow out of control and feed the endless six dinosaurs who lived on earth along with 5 bugs and a weird tree that only grows red THC gummies so shit can get Hiiiiiggggghhhhhhh like a mother fucker. Good luck walking 15 clicks ya lazy fuckers, why not climb into a fucking cave? The cave is probably a short cut, right?
How does this bucket of swill end? Well, in a nutshell Darth Vader's shitty replacement is screwed because his light saber ran out of battery and the only CGI dinosaur they could rent from Industrial Light and Magic suddenly shows up to eat a spaceship. Apparently, they rented a dinosaur as stupid as the writers of this crap.
In classic Play Station fashion, upgrades and shit. The dino becomes eligible to die from Beretta Storm rounds. All this to save an ingrate kid who cannot speak English and is probably in the country illegally anyway. Will he be able to save the little mumbling illegal immigrant? HELL yeah he will.....................................he has a button to push to make the emergency ship fly away. Thankfully, there is a button for everything, just like at Office Depot.
If you had 90 minutes with no options and are stuck on the toilet with the worst shits in the world and need some other reason to die a miserable death......................................watch this movie. It is the closest thing to a second dose of the shits you can get without needing toilet paper. When you cannot find a strong empowered black woman who just happens to be a lesbian........................the next best thing is a 110 pound girl as strong as a man and five times as smart.
As long as the girl is not white, white people are bad, weak, unable to cope without the help of the beige and browns.
So, they hire a one-man crew to haul a ship full of idiots right past earth the day before the biggest asteroid strike in the planet's history. Since he is flying world's worst spaceship it hits the asteroid then the planet. No biggie, he has a button to push for help. They gave him a bottle of water and a small caliber rifle to live on if shit went south. While it might seem this crap script was written by a 7yo with brain damage, trust me it was written by someone dumber than a 7yo kid. To hide the shitty CGI and dismal special effects it was shot entirely at night. Sadly, 65 million years ago, the sun only came up for about three hours a week. This allowed all the plants to grow out of control and feed the endless six dinosaurs who lived on earth along with 5 bugs and a weird tree that only grows red THC gummies so shit can get Hiiiiiggggghhhhhhh like a mother fucker. Good luck walking 15 clicks ya lazy fuckers, why not climb into a fucking cave? The cave is probably a short cut, right?
How does this bucket of swill end? Well, in a nutshell Darth Vader's shitty replacement is screwed because his light saber ran out of battery and the only CGI dinosaur they could rent from Industrial Light and Magic suddenly shows up to eat a spaceship. Apparently, they rented a dinosaur as stupid as the writers of this crap.
In classic Play Station fashion, upgrades and shit. The dino becomes eligible to die from Beretta Storm rounds. All this to save an ingrate kid who cannot speak English and is probably in the country illegally anyway. Will he be able to save the little mumbling illegal immigrant? HELL yeah he will.....................................he has a button to push to make the emergency ship fly away. Thankfully, there is a button for everything, just like at Office Depot.
If you had 90 minutes with no options and are stuck on the toilet with the worst shits in the world and need some other reason to die a miserable death......................................watch this movie. It is the closest thing to a second dose of the shits you can get without needing toilet paper. When you cannot find a strong empowered black woman who just happens to be a lesbian........................the next best thing is a 110 pound girl as strong as a man and five times as smart.
As long as the girl is not white, white people are bad, weak, unable to cope without the help of the beige and browns.
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