"Not Drunk"
I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of
each and every bottle down the sink, or else...
I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of
one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one
glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.
I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which
I drank.
I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down
the glass.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the
glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles,
and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again,
and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.
I'm not under tha affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink.
I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.
I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of
each and every bottle down the sink, or else...
I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of
one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one
glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.
I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which
I drank.
I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down
the glass.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the
glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles,
and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again,
and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.
I'm not under tha affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink.
I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.
