Parental Advice - Twins...

Anb618

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Wife and I found out she’s pregnant again (“found out”; intentional pregnancy for anyone asking). Had her first ultrasound yesterday and we learned she’s carrying twins.

After my wife immediately yelled, “Shut Up!” at the poor ultrasound tech, and she assured us she was not joking (we realized it’s probably frowned upon for her to fake out parents with pretend-twins) we had our families over for dinner and excitedly filled them in. This will make 3 little ones, our oldest being 2.5 years old now.

Posting because I’m nervous about going from our long-planned family of two children to a sudden family of 5. Already realizing we’ll need two of everything we already own, we’ll probably have to trade in my wife’s (nearly new) car for a larger SUV or mini-van (her current ride won’t fit 3 car-seats wide), and I’m now very consciously aware that we live in a 3-bedroom, 1.5 bath, 1,100 sq/ft home (less than ideal for 3 kids, but obviously doable. Luckily it’s on some acreage for when they’re older).

Don’t get me wrong, we’re both very excited. I just have lots of worries running through my mind. I’m the OCD planner of the family and it’s outside the parameters of “the plan”. We’ve been settled on the idea of two kids (and then a vasectomy) since even before we were married. I know right now, God’s laughing at our well-made plans for thinking we could control this kind of thing. 😂

Any helpful parental advice would obviously be welcome as I’m far from a pro, but I’d most like to hear from any parents of twins/multiples on any difficulties to anticipate, or any helpful suggestions to be added.

I appreciate all the help I can get...
 

brianf

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Congrats...

The hardest part is you are now outnumbered

With 1-2 each parent grabs one and it’s over, now a little more planning has to go into it.

Twins will test your sanity lol, but their just babies.

The first child was hard because you had no idea what to do. Now you “get it” it’s just more.

Wife will loose her mind especially in the beginning, so you guys have to be in the same page.

Plan on putting your personal fun on hold for a bit you dont want animosity sprouting.

Remember when you vanish into the back yard or garage to get time off...she’s not getting time off.

Edit
Forgot it’s impossible not to but they are different. Don’t think because one didn’t walk yet there is a issue.

The wife and maybe you will have a nervous breakdown if you don’t realize they are 2 different kids just the same age.
 

JMGlasgow

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I'm a twin, with older siblings, and my parents were not expecting us either. Where there's a will there's a way. My dad was in the military when we were born and got out shortly after. He found a good job, but they still struggled to provide and we went without a lot of things growing up. Second hand clothing, inexpensive shoes, and not having the latest tech and gear were the norm. They never failed to provide a roof over our head, or make sure we had enough food, even though they sacrificed a few meals here and there.

Words of advice from a twin...

Don't dress them the same once they are aware of it.
Separate them in school classes if they ask for it

It's OK for them to have the same bedroom until they are about 10-12. Then it's time they have their own.

Even though they are twins, treat them as individuals as much as possible. They may or may not have the same interests.
 

Nik H

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Wife and I found out she’s pregnant again (“found out”; intentional pregnancy for anyone asking). Had her first ultrasound yesterday and we learned she’s carrying twins.

After my wife immediately yelled, “Shut Up!” at the poor ultrasound tech, and she assured us she was not joking (we realized it’s probably frowned upon for her to fake out parents with pretend-twins) we had our families over for dinner and excitedly filled them in. This will make 3 little ones, our oldest being 2.5 years old now.

Posting because I’m nervous about going from our long-planned family of two children to a sudden family of 5. Already realizing we’ll need two of everything we already own, we’ll probably have to trade in my wife’s (nearly new) car for a larger SUV or mini-van (her current ride won’t fit 3 car-seats wide), and I’m now very consciously aware that we live in a 3-bedroom, 1.5 bath, 1,100 sq/ft home (less than ideal for 3 kids, but obviously doable. Luckily it’s on some acreage for when they’re older).

Don’t get me wrong, we’re both very excited. I just have lots of worries running through my mind. I’m the OCD planner of the family and it’s outside the parameters of “the plan”. We’ve been settled on the idea of two kids (and then a vasectomy) since even before we were married. I know right now, God’s laughing at our well-made plans for thinking we could control this kind of thing. 😂

Any helpful parental advice would obviously be welcome as I’m far from a pro, but I’d most like to hear from any parents of twins/multiples on any difficulties to anticipate, or any helpful suggestions to be added.

I appreciate all the help I can get...
I have 5 kids...only expected two but got divorced and remarried so it ended up being 2+3.

I will let you in on a secret...anything beyond 2 kids costs you nothing. They are free. The first two took it all...LOL.

Enjoy your little surprise and don't worry about the economics. They always work themselves out.
 
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supercorndogs

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My two brothers and I stayed in the same bedroom until my older brother left for college. Then it was two of us, until we moved out, and found out what it was like to have a bedroom of our own.
 
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Yasherka

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Wife and I found out she’s pregnant again (“found out”; intentional pregnancy for anyone asking). Had her first ultrasound yesterday and we learned she’s carrying twins.

After my wife immediately yelled, “Shut Up!” at the poor ultrasound tech, and she assured us she was not joking (we realized it’s probably frowned upon for her to fake out parents with pretend-twins) we had our families over for dinner and excitedly filled them in. This will make 3 little ones, our oldest being 2.5 years old now.

Posting because I’m nervous about going from our long-planned family of two children to a sudden family of 5. Already realizing we’ll need two of everything we already own, we’ll probably have to trade in my wife’s (nearly new) car for a larger SUV or mini-van (her current ride won’t fit 3 car-seats wide), and I’m now very consciously aware that we live in a 3-bedroom, 1.5 bath, 1,100 sq/ft home (less than ideal for 3 kids, but obviously doable. Luckily it’s on some acreage for when they’re older).

Don’t get me wrong, we’re both very excited. I just have lots of worries running through my mind. I’m the OCD planner of the family and it’s outside the parameters of “the plan”. We’ve been settled on the idea of two kids (and then a vasectomy) since even before we were married. I know right now, God’s laughing at our well-made plans for thinking we could control this kind of thing. 😂

Any helpful parental advice would obviously be welcome as I’m far from a pro, but I’d most like to hear from any parents of twins/multiples on any difficulties to anticipate, or any helpful suggestions to be added.

I appreciate all the help I can get...
PM me. I have twin boys who just turned 8
 

BLKWLFK9

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Nobody is ever "ready" for their 1st kid. It doesn't change when there are more or multiples. You'll cope with it and get the hang of it. There isn't much to worry about. My advice to you as a father is, help your wife as much as you can. Mothers can definitely get overwhelmed if they feel like theyre in it alone. Diaper duty, feeding, up multiple times during the night, etc. helps her out tremendously. And even though the twins will require much attention, don't ever let your 2.5 year old feel neglected or less important. While mom has the babies, take your oldest off to the side and make him/her feel special and let them know that they are still equally loved and thought of. I know that sounds obvious but if you don't take a conscious effort to show it, it is easy to get "swamp" with the babies and get "tunnel vision" while caring for them. Congrats, homie.
 

diverdon

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The house will be fine. The transport sounds like its going to need an upgrade. I'm not sure what brand you prefer but Ford has a $5,300 rebate on the Flex limited.
 

Bb214

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I have a set of identical boys that are almost 14 months old. I will say that I was a nervous wreck when I first found out, but now I have a blast with them. I couldn’t imagine life without both of them. You’ll figure things out, but one thing I suggest is get them on a schedule as soon as you are able. If one wakes up to eat at night feed both and change both. Otherwise, you don’t get any sleep. BDBEA211-A249-4104-A994-BBA36CBE568F.jpeg
 

The D

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My wife and I are having a drawn out conversation about trying for 1 more and this is my biggest worry. She has a 16yo daughter from a previous marriage and she splits time between both families so we have 2.5 kids already. She wants to try once more to get another daughter but I keep imagining going to the first ultrasound and being told we’re having twins, of whichever flavor, and fainting. Our youngest is only 1.5 but is quite a little monster. Not sure my sanity can withstand another, or 2...
 

lash

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Like was said already, you’ll adapt and things will be fine. When we had our first child many years ago, we were pushing it since we barely had a pot to piss in. Turns out that our first was twins and I almost did faint when we found out ( in my defense, I wasn’t feeling well that day anyway. when we went into the ultrasound room, it was warm).

Try to keep them both in the same schedule, like mentioned above. You set the timing as much as possible and don’t let them each set their own schedule.

Congratulations on your blessing!
 

Middle Man

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Buy in bulk. As advised above: Put them in separate classes staring in kindergarten and don’t dress them alike after age 4. Be prepared for early arrival and some days in the NICU.
 
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Huskydriver

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Suck it up butter cup you will be aight....

Try and keep em on the same schedule.

Make a game out of helping each other with them and include your toddler to help.

Costco membership....

Ford expedition EL...

Like others have said they are almost guaranteed to be in the NICU for a bit.




Oh and get a fridge stocked with bangs and monsters at ALL times...

20200305_213528.jpg
 
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87stang

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Ford Expedition Max with second row bench seat. You’ll thank me later.

Good double stroller. They can get expensive but finding the right one is key.

Check into the Snoo. It’s a bassinet that senses movement and rocks the baby back to sleep. Helps teach them to self sooth and gets them to sleeping through the night early on. Their sleeping habits will change several times through the first year and the Snoo adjust to that. Or more correctly helps them adjust and get back on an all night sleeping schedule. It’s a sanity saver.

Definitely help mom out. Beyond the normal thing, pay attention to how she’s doing. Learn to tell when she is getting overwhelmed and step in before it happens.

Don’t neglect adult time. Even if it’s just 10-20 minutes staying up after the kids go to sleep. Spend that time talking about adult topics not just about the kids.

Congratulations!
 

MarinePMI

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I'm a twin, with older siblings, and my parents were not expecting us either. Where there's a will there's a way. My dad was in the military when we were born and got out shortly after. He found a good job, but they still struggled to provide and we went without a lot of things growing up. Second hand clothing, inexpensive shoes, and not having the latest tech and gear were the norm. They never failed to provide a roof over our head, or make sure we had enough food, even though they sacrificed a few meals here and there.

Words of advice from a twin...

Don't dress them the same once they are aware of it.
Separate them in school classes if they ask for it

It's OK for them to have the same bedroom until they are about 10-12. Then it's time they have their own.

Even though they are twins, treat them as individuals as much as possible. They may or may not have the same interests.
This^^^^^
I’m an identical twin as well. Good advice and insight above.
 
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fmillik

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I have three: 7, 4 and 2. With our second we started “sleep training” when he was about 1.5 years old. Was the best parenting we ever did. Check out a book called “The Happy Sleeper.”
 
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thejeep

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If you enjoy a hot beverage get a thermos.
 

rulellis

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My wife and I have twins that are now 6, a boy and girl. Like you they were our 2nd and 3rd children. First I want to say it is AWESOME! My wife says it’s the same as one only more time consuming - and she’s right. But it’s really not that much different than one - triplets on the other hand would terrify me.

In regards to you having only 2?rooms for three kids, it is a good thing for them to share rooms. It’s harder for them to hide things, encourages social kids rather than reclusive ones, and they learn to share better and be less selfish. At this point we are having our fourth and will be keep the two boys together and the two girls regardless of how many rooms we have.

Congratulations!!! And enjoy them while they are young it really doesn’t get better than when they are little.
 
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gonzaga

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Just think of it like this...
You can tell EVERYONE that you brought the THUNDER and made 2 for the price of 1.
Like I said before, enjoy his blessings.
 
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AKMarty

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Congrats on twins! Twins are way cool. My twin boys are 21 now. They were our first of 4.

@gunjunkie45 praying for quick arrival at home. That was hard. One of ours was under an O2 tent for about a week.

PM for more.

Double blessing!
 

Anb618

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Thanks to everyone for your tips and advice. I’m definitely feeling less stressed about the news after another night’s sleep.

@gunjunkie45
Hope the little ones get to come home soon. Congratulations on two good looking little ones. How long have they been in NICU?

My wife’s OB told us about the possibility of an early birth and/or scheduling an early C-section regardless. We’re hoping to avoid a long NICU stay. The OB actually mentioned she has high hopes based on my wife’s previous pregnancy. She gave birth to our son at 10 lbs even, and that’s being induced a week early because of concerns over the disparity in his size/her size.
 

Anb618

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Just think of it like this...
You can tell EVERYONE that you brought the THUNDER and made 2 for the price of 1.
Like I said before, enjoy his blessings.
I’ve already been joking since we found out she was pregnant that I have a magic penis. Conception date mapped out to a bedroom session where we honestly thought we were just gonna be “practicing”. 😂
 

Penguins

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First, I'd like to say congrats. I think you are just freaking out, You are already a father and this is not your first rodeo. Its just two of them coming the same time. More dippers and food, water, room for the twins, and you definitely need to be around to help out. You can handle it.
 
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gunjunkie45

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Thanks to everyone for your tips and advice. I’m definitely feeling less stressed about the news after another night’s sleep.

@gunjunkie45
Hope the little ones get to come home soon. Congratulations on two good looking little ones. How long have they been in NICU?

My wife’s OB told us about the possibility of an early birth and/or scheduling an early C-section regardless. We’re hoping to avoid a long NICU stay. The OB actually mentioned she has high hopes based on my wife’s previous pregnancy. She gave birth to our son at 10 lbs even, and that’s being induced a week early because of concerns over the disparity in his size/her size.
They were born 21 April. My wife was only 29 weeks, 5 days along. They're doing well but probably won't get to come home for a couple more weeks. They just finally were able to try breast and bottle feeding this week.
 

Anb618

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They were born 21 April. My wife was only 29 weeks, 5 days along. They're doing well but probably won't get to come home for a couple more weeks. They just finally were able to try breast and bottle feeding this week.
Well congrats. I’ll pray they grow like weeds. 👍🏼
 
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powdahound76

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Wow. Cool news!!

I will admit a little jealousy. I truly love kids and would have loved to have 3.

enjoy the blessings.

If you live near Denver, count me in for some babysitting!

biggest thing I could add, is once the Mrs is ready to let you watch the new babies, have her do special “mommy and me” stuff with the older one too. And, rub her pregnant lady feet a lot and take excellent care of her after the delivery.
make sure she gets a little mom alone time every week. Its wonders for an exhausted new mom.

sounds like you have a good thing together, it never hurts to treat them extra special.😊
 
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hollowoutadime

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Tattoo their names on their foreheads.
I get into trouble to this day with my 23yr old daughters.
Twins are a blessing, but the first 3-6 months are hell as you will not get enough sleep.
Stockpile diapers.
It's pretty funny in the first 3 yrs watching them develop together in their own world.
 

TheGerman

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Happened to my brother.

They had just had a child who was around 1.5-2 at the time and decided that they were going to have 1 more and be done. Against everyone's advice to wait, they did it anyways, and surprise, twins.

So they have 3 kids, all around/under 2, at the same time.

It's mass fucking chaos to the point that my parents, who live a mile away avoid going over there lol. I use it as Exhibit A whenever my wife brings up kids.
 

krw

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We had twin girls. Everyone tried to prepare us. I workd 11hr shifts, 1 hr drive away. Also raised 450,000 chickens under contract and ran 75 hd cattle. Had to feed them every 3 hrs because they were little, 4-7 an 3-15. Sleep was a very precious commodity. Also We got a minivan but it made a good rig to load the guys up and make the Tulsa gun show 2x yr. You and your wife will make it as its the only option you have!!
 
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AKMarty

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They were born 21 April. My wife was only 29 weeks, 5 days along. They're doing well but probably won't get to come home for a couple more weeks. They just finally were able to try breast and bottle feeding this week.
Mine are 6’3 170# now. Reminded to pray for them today.
 
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GTOJOSH

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Stock up on baby wipes now. Diapers after you see if they're early and what size you need.
You do need 2 of most things- run through a full day activities with 2 dolls and your current kid. You'll see what you need quick, and some of the Van's actually have cool hidden storage compartments for your guns and gear .
Relegate yourself now that: Your sleeping days are done. By the time they're grown you'll have to wake up mid sleep hours to pee anyway.
Stay close to your wife. Your sense of duty to her should never be second to anything including your kids. They'll grow close to you as you grow closer to her.
Finally- know everything works out to a greater plan than us all. And dont raise dependent, entitlement liberals. We had 1 bathroom, 3 bedrooms for 7 people for a long time. Happy happy times, except waiting for the bathroom.
 
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