With all the negative waves (Moriarty) assuming that the poster boy for Alzheimers gets elected, I figured I'd toss out some ideas to turn those frowns upside down and make some payola out of this shit sammich. Libs find a way to profit off of misery, so why not us upstanding citizens?
Besides the hardcore personal security firm for politicians that becomes amazingly inept at critical times, I thought of a few:
First idea: The media wants a new polling firm, one guaranteed to have a good handle on the "right half" of this country. Pretty simple... I just gotta ask a question in the Bear Pit, take that, then blather on for ten minutes of every hour on a different news channel. It'll be way more accurate than Frank Luntz doing one of his Skinner-box focus groups.
Second: Crowd-sourced comedy writing. Half of the comments in the Bear Pit are gold to up-and-coming comedians... as long as they wanted to be the next Don Rickles or Sam Kinison. Maggies B&G should be good for an entire Jeff Foxworthy world tour. Lowlight could make a ton, maybe even enough to fix that ultimate level/dope card holder he's been working on.
Third: Rotomolded, waterproof storage cases designed to fit comfortably (but precariously) in the fore or aft of any boat. You never know when those accidents are going to happen. The premium models will even have a remote-controlled rope hatch with a float.
Fourth (and hear me out): Certified weapons and ammunition destruction. I figure grand plan step one is going to be 'voluntary' gun buybacks. The state pays for someone to dispose of them, so I'd make a ton of cash chopping up Hi-Points, Jennings and Ravens. Since it would be pretty slow work, the good stuff might not make it to the head of the line until after they needed to be redistributed to 'needy' patriots to prevent the grand plan step 2. And yes, I'd claim each one as a charitable donation for tax purposes. I think I could franchise it, too... anyone with a bunker wanna get in as an investor?
Fifth: Self-defense dildos and stun vibrators. Let's face it, with police getting defunded, the karens and purple hairs are gonna need protection, and I don't mean the kind that gets fixed with a coat hanger if you forget it. Think of them as the multi-tool 'must have' for a new generation of women and their soy boi life partners.
Whaddya all think? Got any ideas to make bank while fleecing our new satanic overlords?
Besides the hardcore personal security firm for politicians that becomes amazingly inept at critical times, I thought of a few:
First idea: The media wants a new polling firm, one guaranteed to have a good handle on the "right half" of this country. Pretty simple... I just gotta ask a question in the Bear Pit, take that, then blather on for ten minutes of every hour on a different news channel. It'll be way more accurate than Frank Luntz doing one of his Skinner-box focus groups.
Second: Crowd-sourced comedy writing. Half of the comments in the Bear Pit are gold to up-and-coming comedians... as long as they wanted to be the next Don Rickles or Sam Kinison. Maggies B&G should be good for an entire Jeff Foxworthy world tour. Lowlight could make a ton, maybe even enough to fix that ultimate level/dope card holder he's been working on.
Third: Rotomolded, waterproof storage cases designed to fit comfortably (but precariously) in the fore or aft of any boat. You never know when those accidents are going to happen. The premium models will even have a remote-controlled rope hatch with a float.
Fourth (and hear me out): Certified weapons and ammunition destruction. I figure grand plan step one is going to be 'voluntary' gun buybacks. The state pays for someone to dispose of them, so I'd make a ton of cash chopping up Hi-Points, Jennings and Ravens. Since it would be pretty slow work, the good stuff might not make it to the head of the line until after they needed to be redistributed to 'needy' patriots to prevent the grand plan step 2. And yes, I'd claim each one as a charitable donation for tax purposes. I think I could franchise it, too... anyone with a bunker wanna get in as an investor?
Fifth: Self-defense dildos and stun vibrators. Let's face it, with police getting defunded, the karens and purple hairs are gonna need protection, and I don't mean the kind that gets fixed with a coat hanger if you forget it. Think of them as the multi-tool 'must have' for a new generation of women and their soy boi life partners.
Whaddya all think? Got any ideas to make bank while fleecing our new satanic overlords?
