I do not have a red dot on mine but will be getting a Romeo zero when they become available. As far as holsters go, I appendix carry and use either a CrossBreed IWB appendix or a Vedder light tuck appendix carry. Both companies have great products and stellar service. I like Federal HST 124 grain for a defense load. I would consider Spear Gold Dot. My XL has not had a single problem feeding HSTs. I'm small, short, and older so what is a comfortable holster for me might drive you nuts. Hope this helps.
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My understanding is no--at this point in time your choices are the Sig Romeo Zero of the Shield. I forgot which shield. It will be the micro red dot. Neither Trijicon nor Leupold make a micro at this moment. Hopefully, that will change.
I have a vedder light tuck. Waiting for the Holosun 507k to come out to mount. Ammo just use whatever it eats everything. Personally I use Winchester ranger t series 147gr
Leather for me. This is an OWB rig from TT Gunleather.
I've tried the ROMEOZero and it left a lot to be desired. Didn't sit flat, too much movement for me. I've got two Holosun 407k's on order so we will see.
Ammo, 147 grain HST standard pressure. Plenty of barrel length to get proper expansion from the heavier bullets.
All of my SD ammo is from Underwood Ammo. It's loaded hot, is accurate, burns clean. For 9mm, I use a std. P load (1400fps) 90 grn solid copper Extreme Defender round.
I used to use HST, then I found out about Underwood Ammo. HST is darn good stuff, but I believe the Underwood is even better and has less recoil. I'm somewhat recoil sensitive and the HST is pretty heavy recoiling ammo.
The holster is very much preference-based. Inside the waist? Outside? Leather, Kydex, something else? You see? Red dot is budget-based. Not knowing yours, I'd recommend a vortex viper or venom in the $220 range. In terms of ammo, I'd go with 124gr Hydra Shock.