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Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor

So back many years ago at Ft. Bragg... a new A-Team captain checked into his new billet. Wants to be liked. Goes out to a certain biker-ish bar in Fayetteville to bond with his team. Team sergeants say "Don't get drunk in here... there's guys who love to take officers outside and a$$ fuck them." Said captain then goes on (with assistance from team sergeants) to get totally passed out drunk. And wakes up in his POV in the parking lot with his pants around his knees and his touch-hole burning because it had been dosed with Tabasco. And for several days, noone at his team room would make eye contact with him. Before someone let him in on the gag.

It happened....

Then there was the team sergeant with the VW... who took his new captain to the playground... another epic intro.

Cheers,

Sirhr
 
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Joe Montana tried to kill your wife?

Man, I thought he was better than OJ in every category. Guess he doesn’t measure up on the beheading and slashing stats.

Sirhr

Yup, it was when she was learning to fly. She was told by the tower to taxi into position and hold. This generally means that someone has just landed but is not off the runway yet. So you would leave the taxi way, and pull onto the runway and just sit there till the landed plane clears the runway. So she does. Over the radio the guy in the tower is yelling abort abort, go around go around....and a shiny new Archer (I think, might have been an Arrow) lands feet in front of the wife and her instructor. In that plane was ole Joe, he wanted to land. I was already flying with my instructor so I did not see it, but I knew her voice on the radio, I know she got "talked to" about an F-bomb over the air. No idea what happened to Joe, likely nothing......Money. I can't tell you how bad I wanted to knee cap that walking pile of shit.
 
Yup, it was when she was learning to fly. She was told by the tower to taxi into position and hold. This generally means that someone has just landed but is not off the runway yet. So you would leave the taxi way, and pull onto the runway and just sit there till the landed plane clears the runway. So she does. Over the radio the guy in the tower is yelling abort abort, go around go around....and a shiny new Archer (I think, might have been an Arrow) lands feet in front of the wife and her instructor. In that plane was ole Joe, he wanted to land. I was already flying with my instructor so I did not see it, but I knew her voice on the radio, I know she got "talked to" about an F-bomb over the air. No idea what happened to Joe, likely nothing......Money. I can't tell you how bad I wanted to knee cap that walking pile of shit.
Ole' Joe, with a plane, on the runway.
 
Yup, it was when she was learning to fly. She was told by the tower to taxi into position and hold. This generally means that someone has just landed but is not off the runway yet. So you would leave the taxi way, and pull onto the runway and just sit there till the landed plane clears the runway. So she does. Over the radio the guy in the tower is yelling abort abort, go around go around....and a shiny new Archer (I think, might have been an Arrow) lands feet in front of the wife and her instructor. In that plane was ole Joe, he wanted to land. I was already flying with my instructor so I did not see it, but I knew her voice on the radio, I know she got "talked to" about an F-bomb over the air. No idea what happened to Joe, likely nothing......Money. I can't tell you how bad I wanted to knee cap that walking pile of shit.

Doesn't sound as bad as Harrison Ford - between landing on a taxi-way (almost collides with a Boeing 737), crossing a runway without clearance that another plane was landing on, and his crash on the golf course.




 
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I think all sports fans and most everybody else will get a kick out of this letter written to the Chicago Tribune. No matter which side you are on in the matter of renaming the Washington Commanders, nee Washington Redskins, this is funny.
This is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins.

Dear Mr. Page: I agree with our Native American population. I am highly jilted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay, we must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.

Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.

The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60's alive. Gone. It's offensive to us white folk.

The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team named for the Confederacy? No! (Actually Ole Miss had to drop their “Rebels” mascot) There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men's lives.

I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.

Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!

Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children.

The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.

The Cincinnati Reds promotes downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our children.

The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong message to our children.

So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the Congress loves.

As the friend of a couple of die-hard Oregon State fans, it would reduce their anxiety, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women's athletic teams to something other than the Beavers (especially when they play Southern California. Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers???)

I always love your articles and I generally agree with them. As for the Redskins name, I would suggest they should have changed the name to the Foreskins, to better represent their community, paying tribute to the dick heads in Washington DC
 
Doesn't sound as bad as Harrison Ford - between landing on a taxi-way (almost collides with a Boeing 737), crossing a runway without clearance that another plane was landing on, and his crash on the golf course.






Where she was OJC, there is not a great deal going on. No way in the world you are going to convince me it was anything else then "i'm joe montana and i'm landing".