Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor

[hermosabeach]

An elderly couple was attending church services.

About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband.
"I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"




He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid"

 

[Davo308]

 

[MRiles]

White fucka look high......

 

[sirhrmechanic]

 

[sirhrmechanic]

White fucka look high......

Ergot poisoning... Probably responsible for the Salem Witch Trials...

Sirhr

 

[Davo308]

 

[Dirty D]

A husband and wife were vacationing in when they decided to go out on a charter fishing boat.

A large wave washed her overboard where she disappeared immediately.

The Coast Guard were called out for the search and the husband went back to his hotel to await the outcome. Six hours later a CG officer calls on the man at the hotel. "Sir, we dragged the bottom and managed to snag your wife's body, when we pulled her up there were 12 huge king crabs attached to her feeding on her body. But we do have some good news".


"Good news!? What kind of good news could there be!?"

"Well sir... we're pulling her up again tomorrow".
--

Eels

 

[Douglas-001]

Now that is funny! Brings back a funny comment (not entirely related, but possibly unacceptable, and keeping in the spirit of poking fun at ourselves)-at least to me-I made at my mother's funeral a few years back. Many cholos and cholas were attendance. Most I had not seen in years. Just before the service began, our Pastor asked me as we stood in the Narthex if there was anything I would like him to mention about her. I said sure, she was a deputy sheriff and had a dry sense of humor and she would think it would be funny if after the service he asked everyone to remain seated as agents from INS would be checking citizenship status. The look Padre gave me was priceless! I quickly added that everyone there was in fact born in the U.S. but those pendejos would all probably run for the closest exit! Another priceless look! I hope to have a drink with her again someday before the good Lord tells me there is no vacancy for the likes of me.

 

[168BTHPM]

 

[Halfnutz]

GF works as a nurse. County sends a guy in with rectal tears. He explains he's not gay but was trading it for cigarettes.

Treated and released back to county. Doctors after care instructions... "Quit smoking"

 

[Davo308]

 

[Blue Sky Country]

Ergot poisoning... Probably responsible for the Salem Witch Trials...

Sirhr

The costliest (and deadliest) acid trip in history...

 

[Maser]

 

[Davo308]

 

[Davo308]

 

[1J04]

 

[Snipe260]

What is the first thing a battered wife does when she gets home from hospital?




Dinner and the laundry if she's got any sense.

You damn right! And clean my fuckin truck!

 

[Davo308]

 

[Dirty D]

View attachment 7357148

Take your meds Sleepy 1J

 

[Maser]

Q: What was Stephen Hawking's most hated form of comedy?

A: Stand-up

 

[Davo308]

 

[acudaowner]

oh I thought this was the motivational page not sure why but this is very motivational at least to me and me it was

12'' heals and girls dancing always a good time , add in poles and its just magical it should be an Olympic sport to hell with curling and badminton . lol . But either way I guess in inappropriate humor , and still fun to watch .

 

[Ravenworks]

Okay, am I the only one but what is she singing about?

 

[remmynikon.308]

 

[mdmp5]

Banged some Japanese broad the other night and now my dick is all blurry

 

[remmynikon.308]

Banged some Japanese broad the other night and now my dick is all blurry

was her's blurry too?

 

[...]

was her's blurry too?

he said Japanese not Thai

 

[mdmp5]

he said Japanese not Thai

I know right? These silly uncultured folk I tell you

 

[remmynikon.308]

It reminded me of that joke...

The other day I was on the bus and this hot asian chick in a miniskirt got on
I kept say "dont get hard...dont get hard..."


Then she did

 

[fx77]

oh I thought this was the motivational page not sure why but this is very motivational at least to me and me it was

12'' heals and girls dancing always a good time , add in poles and its just magical it should be an Olympic sport to hell with curling and badminton . lol . But either way I guess in inappropriate humor , and still fun to watch .

Is pole dancing an Olympic sport?
Pole Dancing is Now an Official Sport, And May Reach the Olympics. Everything you know about “sports” is changing. The days of team competition like football and basketball exclusively holding that title are no more. Instead, you'll see breakdancing at the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris

 

[sirhrmechanic]

 

[tiger13]

View attachment 7353275

Aaaand, just like that, I'm into midget porn.

 

[Ravenworks]

View attachment 7358147

Even as low class we are in Cleveland, I don't think they would want her showing those titties around.

 

[fpgt72]

Is pole dancing an Olympic sport?
Pole Dancing is Now an Official Sport, And May Reach the Olympics. Everything you know about “sports” is changing. The days of team competition like football and basketball exclusively holding that title are no more. Instead, you'll see breakdancing at the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris

Football and basketball are games not sports.

 

[Foul Mike]

And to think that many many moons ago those titties looked just fine, a long time passed. Father Time is kind to no one.
Don't ask me how I know but she never lets them out now.

 

[Blue Sky Country]

Is pole dancing an Olympic sport?
Pole Dancing is Now an Official Sport, And May Reach the Olympics. Everything you know about “sports” is changing. The days of team competition like football and basketball exclusively holding that title are no more. Instead, you'll see breakdancing at the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris

The leftist groups, ANTIFA, DSA, etc... are currently trying their hardest to make a certain Afro-Cuban breakdance in a Hawaiian tune the national sport across America...

 

[PatMiles]

View attachment 7358147

 

[Gaznazdiak]

Is pole dancing an Olympic sport?
Pole Dancing is Now an Official Sport, And May Reach the Olympics. Everything you know about “sports” is changing. The days of team competition like football and basketball exclusively holding that title are no more. Instead, you'll see breakdancing at the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris

Well if shooting can be an Olympic sport, I reckon how about Olympic stabbing.

You know, line up some paedophiles, whoever bayonets the giblets out of the most kiddy-fiddlers in a set time wins.

Now that's a sport I could really get into.

 

[Gaznazdiak]

Just had a thought

If two opposing teams of 3 or 4 people arguing a point is called a debate, then ipso facto a whole chamber full of politicians divided into two sides arguing a point would have to be a mass debate, right?

 

[Gaznazdiak]

I'm too full of newly polished moonshine to give a hobo's foreskin that this may not be the thread to post this in and it's not worthy of a thread of it's own, but I felt the urge to share my amused contempt for the politically correct, "woke", motherfuckers who slime their way among us.

As exemplified by those in the article below.

Anti-racism protesters mistakenly topple statue of anti-slavery activist

Anti-racism protesters mistakenly topple statue of anti-slavery activist

In an embarrassing moment, anti-racism protesters tear down a statue of a Civil War colonel who tried to stop slavery.

www.abc.net.au

 

[Gaznazdiak]

What's "relative humidity"?



The sweat on a hillbilly's back when he's fucking his mama.

 

[Gaznazdiak]

 

[Gaznazdiak]

Football and basketball are games not sports.

WOW, did you need a microscope to split that hair?

 

[Jscb1b]

Just had a thought

If two opposing teams of 3 or 4 people arguing a point is called a debate, then ipso facto a whole chamber full of politicians divided into two sides arguing a point would have to be a mass debate, right?

And they would be mass debaters.

 

[Gaznazdiak]

Yes siree, Jscb1b, they would.

Never yet in my career as a humming-bean have I seen a politician that wasn't a mass debater.


Except for the late great Gough Whitlam.
In my humble opinion, the best we here in Oz have yet produced.

And they would be mass debaters.

Yes siree, Jscb1b, they would.

Never yet in my career as a humming-bean have I seen a politician that wasn't a mass debater.


Except for the late great Gough Whitlam.
In my humble opinion, the best we here in Oz have yet produced.

 

[Uncivil Engineer]

And they would be mass debaters.

A group of whales is called a pod.
A group of geese is called a gaggle.
A group of lions is called a pride.
A group of baboons is called a congress.

 

[Conaso]

A group of whales is called a pod.
A group of geese is called a gaggle.
A group of lions is called a pride.
A group of baboons is called a congress.

Actually it is called a "troop." You are being disrespectful of baboons.

 

[hermosabeach]

I was at this wedding, and I said to the bloke next to me "Fucking hell, that bride is ugly".

"Do you mind? That's my daughter!" came the reply.

I said "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were her father".

"I'm not, I'm her mother

 

[timesublime]

Actually it is called a "troop." You are being disrespectful of baboons.

Yep, a Congress is a bunch of salamanders. A more fitting description of a bunch of slimy folks.

 

[hermosabeach]

Toward the end of the golf course, Harry somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.

All of a sudden, in a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.

She said "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life; better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life... as a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"

Then POOF! she was gone.

After Harry got a hold of himself, he hollered for his friend Fred.

"Fred, where are you?" Fred yells back "I'm over here, in the pussy willows".

Harry yells back... "DON'T SWING, FRED!! For God's sake, DON'T SWING!!"