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Maggie’s Why I'm divorced...

jtb33

Full Member
Full Member
Minuteman
Jun 15, 2010
502
15
PHX, AZ - USA
Why I'm divorced...


Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on
that morning..

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
' Happy Birthday.'

I thought....

Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me..'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !'

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?'

I responded,
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?'
She said,
'Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner..'

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said, ' Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


And I just sat there....

On the couch.....

Naked.
 
Re: Why I'm divorced...

Hahahaha
Great setup and even better ending.
Sorry for the laughs if it's true, but that's pretty funny shit.
 
Re: Why I'm divorced...

That was the funniest thing I have read in a while, thank you!
 
Re: Why I'm divorced...

That was the funniest thing I have read in a while, thank you!
 
Re: Why I'm divorced...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: doubled</div><div class="ubbcode-body">unless its group-orgy time</div></div>
wrong...just wrong hahah
 
Re: Why I'm divorced...

once-upon-a-time-a-prince-asked-a-beautiful-princess-will-you-merry-me-the-princess-said-NO-and.jpg
 
Re: Why I'm divorced...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: doubled</div><div class="ubbcode-body">unless its group-orgy time </div></div>
With the wife and kids?
 
Re: Why I'm divorced...

thanks...
now my computer screen is drenched in coffee and my co-workers can't figure out why i'm crying

this was to funny
 
Re: Why I'm divorced...

WOW! All of my roommates asked why I was laughing so hard, so I had to share it with them. They had similar reactions. Thanks for sharing.
smile.gif
 
Re: Why I'm divorced...

Shit like this makes me want to run to the hills.
 
Re: Why I'm divorced...


Epic!!

Midnight here, I was just getting super drowsy and was about to hit the rack, now I am laughing my ass off !!

Good stuff that.
 
Re: Why I'm divorced...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: COURAGEWOLF</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
once-upon-a-time-a-prince-asked-a-beautiful-princess-will-you-merry-me-the-princess-said-NO-and.jpg
</div></div>

As good or better than the OP's post.