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Sidearms & Scatterguns Wife's wanting a handgun

Mark williams

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Mar 8, 2013
792
2
Alabama
She's never fired one and I know little about handguns. What would be good carry gun for her, caliber make, model? Thanks for your input!
 
Go to a rental range. She should buy what fits her hand and she shoots best.
 
Glock 42 .380 rent it out at the range. Easy to shoot
 
defensive carry guns tend to be compromises.
In order to carry it all the time, it must be lite and compact.
If it is lite and compact, it recoils more and has what can only be generously described as rudimentary sights.
It it has rudimentary sights and stiff recoil, it is difficult to shoot well.
If it is difficult to shoot well, you don't practice.
If you want it more controllable, you tend to compromise on caliber.
Etc...Etc...Etc...
The aforementioned Glock gets good reviews, Kahr, Sig and Beretta make some nice ones as well.
Find one that fits her hand well that is equipped with usable sites and is easy to operate.
Remember, the smaller the handgun, the heavier the recoil spring tends to be so racking the slide becomes more difficult.
You may want to consider a small revolver in .32 H&R Magnum.
Not ideal, but a pretty damn effective cartridge that is easy to shoot and revolvers are easy to master.
 
I don't know if you are around Bham but Hoover Tactical rents all kinds of stuff for you to shoot. I am pretty sure it will cost you an arm and a leg but will at least get her some exposure to some different guns. For my .02 I would go with a revolver.... 2" smith/taurus/ruger etc in 38 special and put a set of laser grips on it. All she has to remember is put the dot where you want the bullet to hit and pull the trigger.
 
My wife loves her Smith and Wesson Shield in 9mm with Crimson Trace laser. Fits her hand perfectly and the laser just adds to her feeling of safety.
 
Please, Please, PLEASE DO NOT GET HER AN AUTO!!! Unless she is going to practice the shit out of it (most don't) I would get her one of the S&W or other brands of hammerless revolvers.
I have been giving this advice for over 30 years to men and women alike who will not take the time to learn the weapon intimately. In a high stress situation you want something that works with minimal thought and something that wont jam, fail to eject, fail to feed. With the revolver if it don't fire the first time, pull the trigger again.

I would go hammerless for carrying in a purse, bag, whatever...snag free. There are several lightweight ones out there.

Not as sexy, but it will save her life.
 
Prob a good idea to get her some lessons at the range as well. If I'm with her she will only get to shoot one at a time.
 
My wife really likes her Walther PK380. It does have a hammer, and should be carried in a holster. If her idea of carry is throwing it in her purse, it's been said already that a hammer-less would be best.
Either way, practice practice practice!


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Bought my wife a S&W 642-2 which is a lightweight Stainless 38 Special revolver with no exposed hammer! I paired it up with some Hornady Critical Defense 110 grain 38 specials so the recoil is manageable. All she needs to do is pull the trigger, no racking the slide or cocking the hammer or anything, just aim and pull the trigger.

It was also a Performance Center gun so the trigger was worked over. Cost was $450 and they threw in a box of ammo,
 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^This is a very good choice. Well said


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I second the shield. Very nice trigger and the slide is easy for women to pull back. 9mm is great and its a Smith and Wesson. 'Nuff said.
 
I was just in the same situation as you a couple months ago. After a bunch of research I settled on the Bersa Thunder 380. It fits her well and it has a great price if she doesn't like it you're not out much. We went and looked at them and she liked it. So now she's had it for a few months and is already asking me for another gun, this time a rifle. :cool:
 
First thing you should do is enroll her into a basic handgun course. The NRA Basic Pistol course is excellent for beginners. Not only will she learn the basics about handgun safety and understand how to properly and safely use them, but most instructors will have several models/types on hand to lend/rent for the course. Let her figure out what she likes to shoot. As an NRA instructor and special tactics instructor, I also would suggest an M&P Shield and the crimson trace or lasermax is a good addition. They are great guns, very accurate, and thinner than a Glock. That is both my wife and I's EDC.. but again, she may prefer something else. I personally would suggest at least a 9mm. They have no more recoil than a .380 and with some good hollow points whatever she shoots will stay down. Good luck.
 
My wife carries a S&W air weight in 38. And a Bersa BP9CC. She has been very happy with these. The revolver is her go to gun. No drills to remember and a speed loader just in case.
 
It all boils down to whether she's going to put in the time and training to become proficient with it. If so, then put a Glock 19 and an M&P 9mm in her hand and see what she likes better. Both great guns.

If she's not going to train much, then the hammerless, lightweight S&W 38 Spl is what you want. Cannot go wrong with that offering.
 
Always trust the "old guys" to recommend a revolver. Sad that they would want to condescend the females and grant them limited firepower so that the "men" can be better with a more powerful higher capacity firearm. Makes me sick.

Any women can fire any firearm just as good as a man. In fact, my wife, who competes, would agree that a revolver is the last thing she would want in a critical situation. A year ago, she had never touched a firearm and this spring, while over breakfast, says "Honey, I want to try pistol competition." I never expected that.

I would recommend something that fits her hand. She has to like how it feels and how well she can see the sights. You do not want to assume what she wants. She may surprise you and like something completely different than what you thought. Let her try ALL of the firearms at the local gun shop and let her decide. Then have her take a couple of lessons. Be sure to have someone else give her lessons. The whole spouse teaching a spouse thing is dangerous (to the marriage).

My wife has small hands and she really likes the H&K P30. It has interchangeable grip selections that really gave her a good hand fit. She is now looking at the H&K VP9 since she wants to go striker fired. The Glock and M&P does not fit her hand at all. I hear also good things about the Walther PPQ. As for caliber, I would recommend 9mm all the way.
 
Always trust the "old guys" to recommend a revolver. Sad that they would want to condescend the females and grant them limited firepower so that the "men" can be better with a more powerful higher capacity firearm. Makes me sick.

I'm sorry, but that's just retarded. I'm not old but I would recommend a revolver to anyone who is not going to shoot regularly and has no real interest in guns other than as a last resort defensive tool. It has nothing to do with gender other than that women are much more likely to be completely disinterested in guns. People who are not interested in spending time to get to know a gun well are not going to remember to turn off a safety in the heat of the moment. If my wife (who has been shooting several times and is very intelligent) were in a life or death situation with a handgun that required anything more than pulling the trigger, she would more likely than not end up dead.
Yes, a glock that is loaded with a round in the chamber is just as easy to fire, but there are other things that can go wrong (like a magazine not fully seated) that could have disastrous results for an unskilled shooter.
 
Lots of good advice, but I'll throw in my $0.02..

Agree with the "rent one and shoot it" crowd. Good idea if only to understand recoil and manage expectations.

Agree with the "hammer less revolvers are easiest to use" folks, but may not be the easiest to handle recoil and you lose on capacity (which really isn't a common issue)

Agree with the S&W Shield crowd as it is a very solid, slim piece. A few more rounds than a revolver, and a smooth shooter in 9MM. I also really like the S&W M&P 9C, Springfield XDm 3.8, or Ruger SR9C if size isn't an issue, but she needs to hold them first.

Autoloaders require more training, but all firearms require some recurring training/orientation/range time for safety and practical purposes.

I'd recommend 9MM first due to ammo selection. 38/.380 second. FYI Ruger is coming out with an LCR revolver in 9MM...might be an option.

Ultimately, I agree with the "she should select her own gun" crowd, but ONLY after she understands the concept of grip and recoil. A .380 can kick hard if you're not holding it properly. She needs to learn the important points of small handguns, the effects of recoil, and choose accordingly.

Best wishes to you and your bride..




Take Care,

Buzz
 
My wife will not get to shoot and train very much due to her and our busy schedules with work and three kids. She does want to learn and we could shoot around three to four times a month, maybe. My wife does have big hands though and at 5'9" she's pretty big, not fat lol.her big hands may help her shoot a bigger gun I assume which is good I guess. I'm going to treat her just like a kid learning though because of no experience and also want a lightweight gun with not much recoil. I woudnt want to turn her off with too much gun. Thanks for all the remarks.
 
You both should be commended for getting her a gun. In this day / age, we need to take some responsibility for our own safety. Even as a LE, I often say when seconds count the police are just minutes away. Get her a gun, teach her how to use it and stay safe.
 
29aholic hit the mark.
If she really wants an auto, get one with a manual safety and a long, hard trigger pull like a Ruger LC380 or LC9.
DO NOT BUY HER A GLOCK. A Glock does not have an active safety and has a relatively light 5.5 lb trigger pull. A Glock is fine for LEO’s and individuals with years of experience who have mastered trigger discipline, but it is NOT FOR NEW INEXPERIENCED shooters. Additionally, a GLOCK must be kept in a holster when not drawn. The holster is an integral part of the GLOCK safety system. A GLOCK is not something you want stuck in a lady’s purse with keys and other odd things just waiting to pull on the trigger.
GLOCK fan-boys love to say “the safety is between your ears.” That may be true for those of us who live and breathe guns, but not for the new or occasional shooter. New shooters make mistakes and a gun with a long, hard trigger pull and a manual safety are more forgiving. NOT A GLOCK.
(This advice applies to all striker-fired autos that lack a manual safety.)
 
It all boils down to whether she's going to put in the time and training to become proficient with it. If so, then put a Glock 19 and an M&P 9mm in her hand and see what she likes better. Both great guns.

If she's not going to train much, then the hammerless, lightweight S&W 38 Spl is what you want. Cannot go wrong with that offering.

I want to expand on this - if she isn't going to train - don't have her carry a gun. Period. End of story.


While the J Frame gets thrown out as an option b/c it small, the reality of it is they are DIFFICULT to shoot accurately and fast and even harder to reload under stress. The truth is that the mentality of "Oh I carry………a J Frame in my purse…….." means:

A #200 male will have tackled me (and I dropped my purse on the hit), and he has beaten me into a comma before I can even contemplate a draw

Since I don't train I can not hit anything more than arms length away from me

Since I don't train I am not really sure where my (speedstrip / EZ loader / loose rounds / don't f*ckin have one) reload is and you could time my reload using a calendar

Since I don't train I am not mentally capable of shooting someone in the face that is attacking me with no more thought than turning off a light switch


CCW (and wives) - primary suggestions:

1. Read Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear - while he is an anti gun guy, the message is important for those that are not tuned into the proper frequency - bad shit really does happen, and it happens most to those that don't pay attention to not only what is going on around them, but what they are telling themselves through intuition. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0440508835/?tag=googhydr- 20&hvadid=38496196803&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17592942139465957537&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_5n85ozz9tp_b

2. The Golden Rule - Don't go stupid places, nor do stupid things, nor be around stupid people.

3. Guns are great, but they are a tool. The difference between Bob Vila and a master craftsman is about one million swings of the same hammer.
 
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My wife also carries a Walther Pk380, being left handed it was the easiest for her to learn with. Spent two trips to gun shows having her handle everything, found a few comfortable ones rented them and ended up with the Walther. Had to go directly to Desanti's for a holster for it though. Gave me an excuse to buy more reloading stuff to make her range ammo and she practices more than I do anymore.
 
I want to expand on this - if she isn't going to train - don't have her carry a gun. Period. End of story.


While the J Frame gets thrown out as an option b/c it small, the reality of it is they are DIFFICULT to shoot accurately and fast and even harder to reload under stress. The truth is that the mentality of "Oh I carry………a J Frame in my purse…….." means:

A #200 male will have tackled me (and I dropped my purse on the hit), and he has beaten me into a comma before I can even contemplate a draw

Since I don't train I can not hit anything more than arms length away from me

Since I don't train I am not really sure where my (speedstrip / EZ loader / loose rounds / don't f*ckin have one) reload is and you could time my reload using a calendar

Since I don't train I am not mentally capable of shooting someone in the face that is attacking me with no more thought than turning off a light switch


CCW (and wives) - primary suggestions:

1. Read Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear - while he is an anti gun guy, the message is important for those that are not tuned into the proper frequency - bad shit really does happen, and it happens most to those that don't pay attention to not only what is going on around them, but what they are telling themselves through intuition. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0440508835/?tag=googhydr- 20&hvadid=38496196803&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17592942139465957537&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_5n85ozz9tp_b

2. The Golden Rule - Don't go stupid places, nor do stupid things, nor be around stupid people.

3. Guns are great, but they are a tool. The difference between Bob Vila and a master craftsman is about one million swings of the same hammer.

Dude...well said!!!
I have been preaching this for years (as in decades). Even when running a gun shop I frequently tried to talk people "out of buying a gun" because I knew they weren't going to train. If they insisted then I always advised to go with a revolver.

I was often quoted to have told some of the particularly gung-ho types "Better file the front sight off so it wont hurt as bad when someone sticks it up your ass!!"
 
Dude...well said!!!
I have been preaching this for years (as in decades). Even when running a gun shop I frequently tried to talk people "out of buying a gun" because I knew they weren't going to train. If they insisted then I always advised to go with a revolver.

I was often quoted to have told some of the particularly gung-ho types "Better file the front sight off so it wont hurt as bad when someone sticks it up your ass!!"
My girlfriend is a pretty good shot but I won't let her carry for 2 reasons. A: she doesn't practice enough. B: she won't carry on her body. I know a lot do it but I don't like off body carry. To easy for someone to grab a purse or bag. I know to many women that probably should file the front sight off because they've been to the range twice a year.
 
My girlfriend is a pretty good shot but I won't let her carry for 2 reasons. A: she doesn't practice enough. B: she won't carry on her body. I know a lot do it but I don't like off body carry. To easy for someone to grab a purse or bag. I know to many women that probably should file the front sight off because they've been to the range twice a year.

You know, that is kinda funny. Especially since in Alabama (where the OP lives), the Peace Officers only need to qualify one per year: http://www.apostc.state.al.us/Portals/0/CHAPTER 650-X-12 -- UPDATE 11-08.pdf

Now I am not saying they do not practice, but I find that with the small number of police officers I know, rarely practice. Doesn't it bother you that some of our finest are not even practicing on a regular basis. I only knew of ONE.. that's right, ONE police officer who competed.

I think that EVERYONE should practice more.

Back to the OP's questions. Let your wife decide what she wants. If she likes it, she will practice a bunch. And then you have an awesome shooting partner.
 
Always trust the "old guys" to recommend a revolver. Sad that they would want to condescend the females and grant them limited firepower so that the "men" can be better with a more powerful higher capacity firearm. Makes me sick.

That is so full of retard.
Yeah, I'm an old guy, and I carry a revolver a vast majority of the time. It has nothing to do with sexism. I find that my lightweight model 36 with shrouded hammer goes with me most of the time. What fucking good does a gun do you if left at home?

Revolvers are simple, they are reliable. They are lightweight, they are easy to work.
If a person would lose track of their speedloader or speed strips, what makes you think they won't lose track of the spare magazine?
 
I checked out some of the smaller revolvers (the S&W is a great recommendation) and the LCR/LCP, Shield, etc., and ended up with a Sig P238. A nice little .380 that will fit in my pocket. Renting a few and seeing what she likes is also a great idea,

John
 
On top of the gun, you should send her to a 2-3 day introductory handgun course.

Guns are great, but they are useless one has a attained basic proficiency in their use.
 
I've been skeptical about her having a carry gun as well. I think maybe we could just find her the right gun that we could shoot together and leave it at home as her last resort here. I have shotguns of most all calibers that she can shoot pretty well and also have longrange rifles as well.i would never let her carry unless she was trained and efficient.im also going to get me a ar for home defense to go along with my others. I think she will enjoy shooting though.
 
9mm or 38 caliber, good self defense ammo for both calibers. Whatever handgun fits her best, that she will carry safely everywhere. Get some competent training, such as NRA basic that was stated previously. Lots of good information, lots to wade thru, except the full retard revolver comment.

Good luck.
 
FIRST before you even go looking for a gun make sure she is really Mentally prepared to take someone's life and deal with all that will be associated with that.
IF in her heart & mind she is not fully prepared & committed to Kill someone then she should not have a firearm because she will hesitate a split second in the heat of the moment and then she will not have a gun, & bad guy will now have hers with which to kill her and maybe others.

If she is sure, then get her a S&W revolver for a multitude of reasons, and have her practice with it a lot
 
FIRST before you even go looking for a gun make sure she is really Mentally prepared to take someone's life and deal with all that will be associated with that.
IF in her heart & mind she is not fully prepared & committed to Kill someone then she should not have a firearm because she will hesitate a split second in the heat of the moment and then she will not have a gun, & bad guy will now have hers with which to kill her and maybe others.

If she is sure, then get her a S&W revolver for a multitude of reasons, and have her practice with it a lot

I know if she were protecting our kids she would in a heartbeat. Not so sure if it would be that way if she were alone. I've gave thought to this as well.
 
Id also go for a Smith and Wesson 38 revolver. For around $400, you can get a 638 or 642. The 638 has the shrouded hammer and the 642 is internal. Both weigh a mere 15 ounces. They make these with several options and flavors and with pink Hogue grips if needed.

If money is no object, look at the Smith and Wesson M&P340 or 340 PD. Same gun, except pd has a titanium cylinder instead of stainless. Both are extremely lightweight and made of Scandium alloy. The PD model is a little over 11 ounces. These are .357 magnum if you want more firepower, but can also be loaded with .38 for the wife. Very nice revolvers. I carry a 340 everyday.

 
Always trust the "old guys" to recommend a revolver. Sad that they would want to condescend the females and grant them limited firepower so that the "men" can be better with a more powerful higher capacity firearm. Makes me sick.

Sexist old men recommend revolvers simply to oppress women... LOL glad I stopped by here, I needed a good laugh.
I guess 30yrs old is the new 60 as my personal carry 8 round auto likely falls into this "oppressive lower capacity" category as well... I'm OK with that :)

I am curious though, what personal defense situations have you been in that require more than 1-3 rounds?


I did the rental thing($15/gun+ammo) with my better half when she decided she wanted her carry permit. Ended up with a new Bersa Thunder as my guns weren't "cool enough". I thought it was just a whim at the time, but 2 years later she still goes with me to the pistol range on a semi regular basis. Yet, she only carries a can of pepper spray as she wasn't comfortable carrying a gun. To be honest, I actually prefer her carrying spray as she doesn't handle roadkill well let alone killing another human being.
 
You know, that is kinda funny. Especially since in Alabama (where the OP lives), the Peace Officers only need to qualify one per year: http://www.apostc.state.al.us/Portals/0/CHAPTER 650-X-12 -- UPDATE 11-08.pdf

Now I am not saying they do not practice, but I find that with the small number of police officers I know, rarely practice. Doesn't it bother you that some of our finest are not even practicing on a regular basis. I only knew of ONE.. that's right, ONE police officer who competed.

I think that EVERYONE should practice more.

Back to the OP's questions. Let your wife decide what she wants. If she likes it, she will practice a bunch. And then you have an awesome shooting partner.

I don't know why everyone online with LEO friends say they rarely practice and many are not gun guys/gals. I would say a good number of the people I work with shoot in their off time as a hobby and many are avid hunters. A few are grandmaster pistol shooters. I'm not saying all are big time into shooting like the majority of us on here but they do shoot for recreation from time to time.

As for competition I have shot pistol and local rifle matches when I can but I run into major hurdles trying to get to most matches. When are most matches held? Early AM on the weekends correct? A good majority of us work at night, on the weekends or both. Also, my vacation, shift and days off are bid for the entire year. They are pretty much set in stone and you will most likely be denied for any additional days off outside what is set. I asked to get time off for the 2014 Snipers Hide Cup and was pretty much told hell no! Only a lucky few have the seniority or have the right position to get the full weekend off and make the matches.

As for qualifications most of us would not mind shooting more and many like myself would shoot them our of ammo if we could. The problem there is ammo has been tight and prices went up so agencies can't afford unlimited ammunition. Some agencies hardly have enough to conduct their qualifications let alone allow for much practice. That's why many of us end up practicing on out own dime.

OP don't listen to the revolver and micro pistol crowd. My father is an NRA / CCW instructor and I've heard all sorts of stories of the revolvers not going over too well with most women during the live fire shoot day that he makes them all do. I personally know of three women that went through the class and had bought or were given a small j frame revolver. Only one still carries but she was a shooter before. The other two hated them and leave them at home or in the car. I vote for semi auto with a bit of weight to it like a compact or maybe subcompact in 9mm such as Glock 19, G26, M&P, M&P compact, Sig 228/229.

I also am not a fan of off body carry because if she has it in her purse when it goes the gun goes with it. Or when she leaves it in the cart and walks down the aisle keeping her back turned and it gets stolen. On body is the only way to go!
 
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Just wanted to say something about the topic as far as revolver vs semi for body carry because I am a firm believer on if it's not on you there's no point in carrying I'll give 2 very common scenarios 1st man attack drops her to the ground she reaches for her gun sticks it in his ribcage and pulls the trigger...nothing happens oops forgot that most semi auto will not fire if the slide is even slightly pressed back it's one of the internal safeties of most semi 2 she had enough time to reach for her gun she fires limp wrist the gun and stove pipes the round ahhh dam no time to clear the weapon bad day so what good is a semi in a situation like that as for clearing a malfunction on the revolver just squeeze the trigger malfunction cleared most of the time not to mention that most sub semi are 6 shooters is 1 extra round really worth it? Then there's the slider bite they have to be conscious of its just safer and easier to carry a revolver you don't have to worry about wether or not there's a round chambered it's mechanically more dependable and you can pres it into someone and still pull the trigger
 
You don't pick out her shoes, don't try and pick her pistol. My daughter much prefers my G 37 to the G 26 I thought she would like. Go figure.
 
I want to expand on this - if she isn't going to train - don't have her carry a gun. Period. End of story.

Boom. Exactly. I can't even say how many times I have seen not only a woman but men as well fire a hand gun for the first time, close one eye, turn their head because they think the gun is going to explode yet try to keep the other eye on the target and end up shooting the ceiling or the next lane over. If a woman or man isn't going to practice at all then they simply should not have a gun. It puts other people in harms way so whats the point. My wifes Shield has the CT laser on it just as a "bandaid" to help her feel more secure she will place her shot on the target but every time I take her to the range or outdoors that thing comes off and she learn to use the sights.
 
Start with a 5-shot .38 2" revolver even if she says she's going to practice and train, etc. Its small enough that she will carry it and safer than an auto. She probably won't practice, but if you suggest that to her now, she might use it on you. Then, if she really does become half-way competent, you can start thinking about autos. Remember that whatever you buy, it will probably end up totally neglected in the bottom in a purse with all kinds of other crap. If you don't pull it out and clean all of the crap out of it from time to time, it may not run if she ever needs it. If she does want to practice give her mostly light loads that are easy to shoot and then end the session with just a few of the full powered loads. I speak from experience.
 
Please, Please, PLEASE DO NOT GET HER AN AUTO!!! Unless she is going to practice the shit out of it (most don't) I would get her one of the S&W or other brands of hammerless revolvers.

My girlfriend can't even pull the trigger on my 642. You sure you think that's a good idea?