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Maggie’s Motivational Pic Thread v2.0 - - New Rules - See Post #1

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True. Mrs. Maximus is twice the woman I married... literally.
When I was married my wife said she wanted a breast enlargement so I got her a roll of toilet paper and told her to wipe some between her boobs daily and they would double in size. She said that was the dumbest thing she had ever heard and that it would never work, I told her it worked for her ass.
 
Where may I send my condolences to your next of kin? I know your wife will be busy looking for a defense attorney. :unsure:
 
Now every time the toilet clogs you get a boner, weird. Dreaming about the old days.

Man, honestly I mostly remember the time somebody climbed on top of the porta-shitter lid and took the biggest 4 pound, MRE fueled, corn infused, shit I've ever seen right on the back of the lid and left it there. This was at our staging area before going on patrol, so everyone got to see it. We giggled for hours.

I can't look at a dirty brown porta-shitter without bringing back fond memories.
 
Man, honestly I mostly remember the time somebody climbed on top of the porta-shitter lid and took the biggest 4 pound, MRE fueled, corn infused, shit I've ever seen right on the back of the lid and left it there. This was at our staging area before going on patrol, so everyone got to see it. We giggled for hours.

I can't look at a dirty brown porta-shitter without bringing back fond memories.
As a giant port o shitters and airplane shitters are a nightmare.
 
We were working in Hawaii in ‘86 at West Loch. It’s a weapons loading spot with no support and no restrooms so we had a porta John. All of us were pranksters, so when you went into the John, you were very aware of outside stuff going on. One day DT had to go, and Blondie had the big idea of throwing a lasso around it and tieing him in there. About four of us were in on the gig. As soon as that rope went over, DT bolted for the door with his shorts down around his ankles, and he was hanging half in and half out with us trying to shove his 185 muscle bound self back in. It didn’t go to well, and the whole shitter got turned over on DT and he crawled out covered in shit, piss and whatever that blue stuff is they fill them with. He had murder in his eyes, and when he looked up, who was standing there but me. I took off with him in hot pursuit. I couldn’t shake him, so I headed for the end of the pier as hard as I could go, and launched into space for the 25’ drop to the water. I turned in the air to look at him on the dock, but he wasn’t there. When I looked straight up, all I saw was a pair of size 10 jungle boots five feet over my head. I hit the water and that mother fucker just about pile drove my head down into my chest. I’m lucky he didn’t break my neck, but I can’t say I didn’t deserve it. We both came up laughing, even though I was seeing stars. I’m sure there was a lesson to be learned from that day, still don’t know what it is. Ahhh, the good old days.
 
Man, honestly I mostly remember the time somebody climbed on top of the porta-shitter lid and took the biggest 4 pound, MRE fueled, corn infused, shit I've ever seen right on the back of the lid and left it there. This was at our staging area before going on patrol, so everyone got to see it. We giggled for hours.I can't look at a dirty brown porta-shitter without bringing back fond memories.
There was a job we were on, probably about 400-500 hands on the job. Someone kept shitting in the urinals. The steel workers were having a melt down over it, only to find out it was a handful of the steel workers that were doing it.
 
When I was married my wife said she wanted a breast enlargement so I got her a roll of toilet paper and told her to wipe some between her boobs daily and they would double in size. She said that was the dumbest thing she had ever heard and that it would never work, I told her it worked for her ass.
It sucks when the pookie little poodle you married turns into a skank bernard......