Maggie’s Motivational Pic Thread v2.0 - - New Rules - See Post #1
- Thread starter Snake-Eyes
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It's a race between apes, terminators and liberals for who will be the downfall of humans.
Going to need more than that for a Goodman
reminds me of an old joke:
A farmer had a three legged pig and his neighbor asked him why the pig had only three legs.
“Well, I’ll tell you” the farmer replied. “One day I was plowing my field and the tractor turned over and pinned me underneath. That pig ran for help. He saved my life”.
“Oh, that’s how he lost his leg?” the neighbor drawled.
“No. One night my wife and I were sound asleep and the house caught on fire. That pig woke us up. He saved our lives!”
“So that’s how he lost his leg”, stated the neighbor.
“No, that wasn’t it” the farmer affirmed.
Exasperated, the neighbor demanded “Then how did he lose his leg?” and the farmer replied, “When you have a pig that good, you don’t eat him all at once!”
M
Greek Bronze Corinthian Type "Helmet of Miltiades" (Athenian General who defeated Persians at Battle of Marathon in 490 BC). Helmet was discovered in Temple of Zeus at Olympia, Greece.
Inscription on lip of helmet cheek section reads in Greek "Miltiades dedicated to Zeus" This was common practice after a significant victory in battle to offer something of extreme importance to Zeus, in this case the helmet worn by Miltiades is just about as significant as you would find.
I can't even get mine to make me a fucking sandwich.
An ancient man and woman have been found locked in a loving embrace for 3,000 years. Archaeologists believe the woman was willingly entombed alive in order to accompany her husband to the next world.
The extraordinary burial sees the couple clasped together since the Bronze Age. The pair, from the prehistoric Vysotskaya Culture were found near the city of Ternopil in western Ukraine.
“Both faces were gazing at each other, their foreheads were touching. “The woman was lying on her back, with her right arm she was tenderly hugging the man, her wrist lying on his right shoulder.
But this example is very striking as autopsy experts say it would not be possible to place the woman’s body in such a loving position if she was already dead.
The experts say it is likely the woman chose to die and be buried with her husband and drank poison as she climbed into the grave and embraced her recently dead husband.
An ancient man and woman have been found locked in a loving embrace for 3,000 years. Archaeologists believe the woman was willingly entombed alive in order to accompany her husband to the next world.
The extraordinary burial sees the couple clasped together since the Bronze Age. The pair, from the prehistoric Vysotskaya Culture were found near the city of Ternopil in western Ukraine.
“Both faces were gazing at each other, their foreheads were touching. “The woman was lying on her back, with her right arm she was tenderly hugging the man, her wrist lying on his right shoulder.
But this example is very striking as autopsy experts say it would not be possible to place the woman’s body in such a loving position if she was already dead.
The experts say it is likely the woman chose to die and be buried with her husband and drank poison as she climbed into the grave and embraced her recently dead husband.
And nothing in human history happens in a vacuum either. This style of helmet evolved directly into the medieval 'barbutes' worn by the Lombards and Italo-Normans of Sicily. Then the French took the barbute, and placed a cone shaped face guard in front of it that can be raised and lowered on hinges on either side of the barbute, and now you have the pig-snout bascinet, one of the most iconic knights' helmets of the time and was worn with the first suits of full articulated plate...
That is sad and romantic at the same time. That's some next level love.
it was before the feminist movement and 50% equity divorce laws
His last words were probably "Would you just leave me the fuck alone?"
The Complete Military History of France
- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.
- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
- The Dutch War
- Tied
- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."
Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."
