FIFY. Otherwise you cant throw a rock bare handed you pick up.
I was thinking like bare hands. Anything but long range weapons. Make it more one on one. Use what's around you but not projectile launchers or explosives.
- Thread starter LaraCroft
- Start date
Well, I'd fight Harambe...
But apparently, it's too late.
SIrhr
But apparently, it's too late.
SIrhr
I'd take on a Giraffe, too. Put together a range card a few years ago.
You know who would have loved this? Harambe. Harambe would have loved this!
Sirhr
You know who would have loved this? Harambe. Harambe would have loved this!
Sirhr
What weapons?
I noticed that Hippos are not on the list..
For years I’ve promoted (with my fellow Tribal members) a reality TV show where the following occurs.
1 Game animal on several square miles mix of woods and clearings.
2 White man with a gun and two bullets enters one side.
3 Two Indians enter on other side with bows and arrows
4 Pot of money.
The hunter has to get the game before the Indians get him. He then gets the game, money, and bragging rights.
I noticed that Hippos are not on the list..
For years I’ve promoted (with my fellow Tribal members) a reality TV show where the following occurs.
1 Game animal on several square miles mix of woods and clearings.
2 White man with a gun and two bullets enters one side.
3 Two Indians enter on other side with bows and arrows
4 Pot of money.
The hunter has to get the game before the Indians get him. He then gets the game, money, and bragging rights.
Since I've killed a rat with my feet, does that count?
Was just about to say. No way Im fighting a goose or def not a swan. if their pecker (lol) dont get you their wings will and they are not a good time.
I dont even want revenge. I want to be in another room. ha.
Racoon is def out.
With those little animals you just cant get a grip and their stength is just to snappy to do any damage.
We had this mean ass tom turkey strut after us all time. A quick kick to his puffed up chest was usually enough to get away before he jumped.
GL Im sitting this one out. Even if you win you are gonna lose. lol.
DT
Aaaaaand..... That how @Texasflyer got the chlamidia!
My cousin was a big rugby player in his 20s. Six foot probably 280 solid. He fought a muzzled and declawed grisly, not a huge one mind you, and he said it beat the snot out of him “with casual indifference”. You were not allowed to punch the grisly. You had to wrestle it. He said if the thing had teeth and claws it would have killed him in the first ten seconds.
When I was a kid we used to run coin dogs, one night about 12:00 we trees a big Bore coon. We didn’t carry guns as you would get 5 dollars more if the dogs killed it, middle of January about 20 degrees. We find the coon way up in the tree out over the creek, up I go with a stick. I am holding onto one limb and a stick, I hit that coon with everything I had and he just looked at me for at least a second maybe 2. The dogs are baying their fool heads off and that coon decided that I wanted to fight, I didn’t. Did I mention that I was over the creek, I looked at this sumbitch with 2” long teeth and decided I would take my chances in the creek. I jump and that bastard followed me. I hit the water and I am fighting a coon and 2 dogs, damn near drowned but was able to fight off the coon and dogs and get to the bank. When I scrambled up out of the water my friend is on the ground laughing his ass off.
^^^^This right here.
The reason we are at the top of the food chain isn’t because we’re bad news. It’s because we are supposed to be smart enough to stay away from critters that will eat you.
Update: @Bender still wrestles pidgins.
The great apes will tear you limb from limb with ease.
Even slightly smaller ones like baboons are really bad news.
I had an angry spider monkey on my back once and it was not fun.
Thats a crazy story and worth noting the monkey was on Xanax.
I think there is still a whole 'Face-eating monkeys' thread on SH.
Though maybe lost on Scout. Have to check the dates.
Lots of good "Face-Eating Monkey" memes.
Sirhr
What kind of fucktards think they best an elephant but not a grizzly, surely if you can beat up one you can beat up the other. Do these people even know what those animals are......geeez.
Thanks for the link. I thought about him, but couldn’t remember Travis’ name.
Travis was well trained in the art of Gorilla Warfare for sure.
Have you ever listened to some women?
They would just bitch at the pachyderm until it decided it has had enough and commits Seppuku...
Did you say Koalamydia? Because that’s the sort of thing that got @Bender his reputation with pigeons...
Just ‘sayin!
Sirhr
Do you get the money if you shoot the Indians instead?
I always thought that was how “Survivor” should be done.
Sirhr
When I was about 8yrs old I got sat on my arse from a big buck kangaroo. The back story was some nutter got into an animal park here in Brisbane Australia - Lone Pine Sanctuary, and injured a few kangaroos with an axe. I guess the big fella held a grudge and little old me came along on a school excursion, little foam lunch box esky in hand, the big fella must have had PTSD and grabbed me by the shirt collar and kicked me fair in the guts sending me and my esky flying. Felt like being hit by a car - another battle I lost lol
Last edited:
My old instructor, who was the most bad-ass fighter I've ever met, got into a fight with a chimp named Buddy. Long story short... as he was cleaning up his wounds with peroxide, Buddy sat on the couch in front of the TV wearing a diaper and eating cheerios.
Witnessed several spider monkeys fuck up some teenage kids. I guess in Africa when you are bored, you throw rocks at the spider monkeys in the trees.... until the monkeys have had enough.
Don't fuck with primates!
Witnessed several spider monkeys fuck up some teenage kids. I guess in Africa when you are bored, you throw rocks at the spider monkeys in the trees.... until the monkeys have had enough.
Don't fuck with primates!
I shoved a goat of a ledge once so I'm sort of a big deal.. Fucker was blocking my path on my way back to the truck on the only section of trail on a cliff. I took my time getting close but he wouldn't get out of the way. Finally gave him a little shove and he jumped off the cliff onto some little rock I couldn't even see.
Straight up, I’m no bad ass but have taken on a couple of Last Call spitting clams. It was tough but someone had to do it! 
Ill fuck with a lot of shit. I am not bright. Poisonous snakes, small gators, armadillos, stray dogs, whatever. First things that enter my mind of fight or flight: is it small and fast yet strong or have teeth/claws
Is it stupid powerful (like an elephant or primate)
every animal has its weak points. Gators are not super flexible but surprisingly fast and strong. Gotta commit.
House cats can be a handful but similar to other critters, so if you can take one on, another is possible. Had a customers big house cat attack me, luckily i got it by the throat quickly and choke slammed it against the wall. It starfished immediately eyes buggin out of its head and was done. Luckily I didn’t kill it.
armadillos are so creepy you dont want to touch em. Like something out of a sifi movie. But also can be pressured to the ground but watch out for those claws!!
do not punch a goat in the face, no matter how drunk you are. They are not phased one bit. But if you grab it by an ankle it is at your mercy.
badgers would give me a run for my money, small/strong and fully loaded arsenal. Hard pass unless i have a strong stick or something.
Poodles are surprisingly strong, even when thrown in the air after biting you from behind. They may come back for more. After a few bad landings they keep their distance and just bark.
Is it stupid powerful (like an elephant or primate)
every animal has its weak points. Gators are not super flexible but surprisingly fast and strong. Gotta commit.
House cats can be a handful but similar to other critters, so if you can take one on, another is possible. Had a customers big house cat attack me, luckily i got it by the throat quickly and choke slammed it against the wall. It starfished immediately eyes buggin out of its head and was done. Luckily I didn’t kill it.
armadillos are so creepy you dont want to touch em. Like something out of a sifi movie. But also can be pressured to the ground but watch out for those claws!!
do not punch a goat in the face, no matter how drunk you are. They are not phased one bit. But if you grab it by an ankle it is at your mercy.
badgers would give me a run for my money, small/strong and fully loaded arsenal. Hard pass unless i have a strong stick or something.
Poodles are surprisingly strong, even when thrown in the air after biting you from behind. They may come back for more. After a few bad landings they keep their distance and just bark.
Nope mine is only 2 minutes long. 
It must have taken me to page two when I quoted another post, and didn't know I wasn't still on page one. Never saw it.
It must have taken me to page two when I quoted another post, and didn't know I wasn't still on page one. Never saw it.
That beats my raccoon story, wife and I were in tears after reading that, thank you.
Who ever walks out gets the money.
Keep in mind that it’s two Indians and arrows are also indirect fire weapons. It’s a very hard problem to solve.
Oooh, when i first found my tarantula i had it in a less than spider proof enclosure. Well the first night i had it it got out. And just disappeared in my house for 2 weeks. I got over my major fear of spiders in that time, then one day its just walking across the living room. And i see it, and my pitbull sees it. Then im fighting the pitbull over the spider thats rared up with inch long fangs. That was a good fight lol
I've met several goats in my life. I cannot imagine this going over well at all
. They smash their heads into ea h other and other things for fun. I'm sure the feel nothing.But I have to ask... why did you punch a goat? Lol
Damn, it was such a good play on words i forced it and mispelled my own damn made up word. Hats off to you
Just paste the link.
Don't even need to insert it as a video...at least for youtube.
I've met several goats in my life. I cannot imagine this going over well at all
But I have to ask... why did you punch a goat? Lol
Some goats need punching.
