Maggie’s And today's lesson is....

Sean the Nailer

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    I just got this in an email, and figured it was time to start today's lesson. School's now in session:


    So, what do we Canadians have to be proud of?

    1. Smarties (not sold in the USA )

    2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp', Forgot Mackintosh toffee (not sold in the USA )

    3. The size of our footballs fields, one less down, and bigger balls.

    4. Baseball is Canadian - 1st game June 4, 1838 - Ingersoll, ON

    5. Lacrosse is Canadian

    6. Hockey is Canadian

    7. Basketball is Canadian

    8. Apple pie is Canadian

    9. Mr. Dress-up beats Mr.. Rogers

    10. Tim Hortons beats Dunkin' Donuts

    11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back past their White House. Then we burned it, and most of Washington ....
    We got bored because they ran away. Then, we came home and partied.... go figure.

    12. Canada has the largest French population <span style="text-decoration: underline">that never surrendered to Germany </span> .

    13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to <span style="text-decoration: underline">anyone, anywhere. EVER</span>! (We got clobbered in the odd battle but prevailed in ALL the wars)

    14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and lasted a little over an hour.

    15. The only person who was arrested in our Civil war was an American mercenary, he slept in and missed the whole thing. He showed up just in time to get caught.

    16. A Canadian invented Standard Time.

    17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the world's oldest company.

    18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes. (That's more information than I need!)

    19. We know what to do with the parts of a buffalo.

    20. We don't marry our kin-folk...

    21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, Velcro, Zippers, insulin, Penicillin and the telephone. Also short wave radios which save countless Lives each year.

    22. We have ALL frozen our tongues to Something metal and lived to tell about it.

    23. A Canadian invented Superman.

    24. We have coloured money.

    25. Our beer advertisements kick ass (Incidently... So does our beer)

    BUT MOST IMPORTANT !

    The handles on our beer cases are big enough To fit your hands in with mitts on.

    OOOoohhhhh..... Canada !!

    Oh yeah... And our elections only take one day!

    Pass this on if you're proud to be Canadian!!! I just did.
    =================================================================

    Ok, let the spit-balls, paper airplanes, and all that start now. Ya'll 're just jealous.
    wink.gif

     

    High Binder

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    <object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0SDrqa-eTXU"></param> <param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0SDrqa-eTXU" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"> </embed></object>
     

    CoCaDoRi

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    I just wish your health care twas better... might even entertain movin' to the great white north pending the outcome of this next election.

    Gotta practice the eh's, about, out, "OHfence", and hoser.

    But I'm not dressin' like Don Cherry.
     

    mrlhunt

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    What was that, EH??????? You do live in a beautiful country.
     

    Killer Spade 13

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    Yeah, but we invented the Colt revolver, atomic bomb, mini-gun and birth-control pill.
     

    rpk762

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    Oh on a side note just give us time. When the lefts have messed up the US too bad for us to live we will be coming up and brining our guns also. So you better get your gun laws fixed or your next civil war will be lot more than just a bar fight.
     

    Ratbert

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: VAJayJayPunisher</div><div class="ubbcode-body">too bad the zamboni was invented in California</div></div>

    I play hockey with a guy who's Frank Zamboni's nephew. He's canadian, but still remarkably lucid.
     

    Sean the Nailer

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Killer Spade 13</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Yeah, but we invented the Colt revolver, atomic bomb, mini-gun and birth-control pill.</div></div>
    Killer, I gotta hand it to you on the first three. But if it hadn't been for cousins.... well,,, that fourth one wouldn't have been such a 'necessity' eh?

    (would ya'll believe that my Lady said that, while she was reading this. So I had to add it. I'll take my lumps!!!)
     

    KRAKER

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    Hey Winnipeg, how's them Jets of yours doing? Oh yea, nevermind.



    GO REDWINGS!!!
     

    canman

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Ratbert</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: VAJayJayPunisher</div><div class="ubbcode-body">too bad the zamboni was invented in California</div></div>

    I play hockey with a guy who's Frank Zamboni's nephew. He's canadian, but still remarkably lucid. </div></div>

    Xtreem or Ice House?
     

    Sean the Nailer

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    Kraker, I too am rooting for the Redwings.

    And the Canucks

    And the.... you get the idea. Now our taxes went up because we 'bought' the bastards, and had to build them a place to skate, too.

    Not like the ticket sales should have done so, eh? But that's another story.
     

    bengates

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    #17 - Hudson Bay Company was founded in 1670, but Beretta was founded in 1526. There are 6 or 7 other companies that are older than 1670 as well.

    I think Tesla would take exception to #21
     

    judgedelta

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    Is there any video verification of #18? And what constitutes the "average" dog-sled team...?
     

    ArmaHeavy

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    Sean,

    How's Canada's '"Right to Bear Arms" working out for you?
    smirk.gif
     

    Pat M

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    ? only reason we went to Canada was to drink at 18 years old (now changed), and real drinks served at the strip clubs.

    Got to say you trump us on the hockey & donuts
     

    DeputyDawg

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mike</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Canada is nothing more than Britain's retarded cousin. Anything that happened prior to 1982 rightfully owes credit to the British Sovereign. </div></div>

    ^^^ winning

    Things you don't have.
    A full set a teeth anywhere in the country.

    Anybody that can drive. If I see a Subaru all over the road my first guess is Canadian. Most times I am right.

    Don't you also have more restrictions on firearms than Commiefornia?

    A nation that everyone in the world sees as a beacon of opportunity and freedom.




    I will end it on this. Canada is the north American red headed stepchild.
     

    Sean the Nailer

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    ArmaHeavy,

    Our snapperhead 'founders' never had the brains NOR the where-with-all to even think of something as valuable and necessary as such. I'm pretty sure they were happy to be members of the aloof, to reign over their 'subjects'. And yes, these are just simply "historical thoughts" and nothing else.

    And by the way,, as stated in the beginning, it was an email that I received and figured some here would appreciate a laugh. Even if they may be 'retarded neighbors'.
     

    fireguyty

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    Everything your country has accomplished took 25 points to consider. Congrats?

    Just be happy that we are between you and Mexico. Otherwise the Federales would take over your county quicker than Germany walked through France.
     

    barrett1142

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    "11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back past their White House. Then we burned it, and most of Washington ....
    We got bored because they ran away. Then, we came home and partied.... go figure."

    This is funny. Canada wasn’t even founded until July 1st 1867. So how did Canadians push American back past the white house during the war of 1812???????
     

    Sportin Wood

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DMAX2500HD</div><div class="ubbcode-body">"11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back past their White House. Then we burned it, and most of Washington ....
    We got bored because they ran away. Then, we came home and partied.... go figure."

    This is funny. Canada wasn’t even founded until July 1st 1867. So how did Canadians push American back past the white house during the war of 1812??????? </div></div>

    Guess the Canuks are bunch of lying fucks too! Oh and hi Sean
    smile.gif
     

    ArmaHeavy

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    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sean the Nailer</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ArmaHeavy,

    Our snapperhead 'founders' never had the brains NOR the where-with-all to even think of something as valuable and necessary as such. I'm pretty sure they were happy to be members of the aloof, to reign over their 'subjects'. And yes, these are just simply "historical thoughts" and nothing else.

    And by the way,, as stated in the beginning, it was an email that I received and figured some here would appreciate a laugh. Even if they may be 'retarded neighbors'. </div></div>

    It's okay Sean. I know you're poking at US, and we're just going to poke back.

    Of course you probably do the snowgeese thing and come down here to do a link up and get a taste of what you can't have.

    Don't you? LOL!
    wink.gif
     

    Rhys

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    Canada is just America's hat. No one is going to pay attention unless it going up in flames.
     

    Alaskaman11

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: GrnMtnRidgeRunnr</div><div class="ubbcode-body">One note on Canada's side is that they've done a great job protecting us from Alaska...well atleast up until the let Sarah Palin out. </div></div>

    Better not piss us off, we might cut off the oil, And the fish and everything else.
    Screw it, we will invade, The way I see it, it will take us about 45 mins to get down to the border, well me might need a beer stop or two.
     

    lroseen

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sean the Nailer</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I just got this in an email, and figured it was time to start today's lesson. School's now in session:


    So, what do we Canadians have to be proud of?

    1. Smarties (not sold in the USA ) <span style="color: #FF0000">Not True, I grew up on these little gems. Also, there made in AMERICA!!!</span>

    2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp', Forgot Mackintosh toffee (not sold in the USA ) <span style="color: #FF0000">Also NOT true. And I'm almost positive those are made in the United Kingdom which basically owns Canada...
    smirk.gif
    </span>

    3. The size of our footballs fields, one less down, and bigger balls. <span style="color: #FF0000">Yes, your football fields are longer, you quit after being hit three times instead of four and LETS BE HONEST, there is no way you have bigger balls...
    laugh.gif
    </span>

    4. Baseball is Canadian - 1st game June 4, 1838 - Ingersoll, ON <span style="color: #FF0000">I can find no evidence toward this and everything that I can find points toward it being invented somewhere around New York</span>

    5. Lacrosse is Canadian <span style="color: #FF0000"> Lacrosse is Native American... </span>

    6. Hockey is Canadian <span style="color: #FF0000">While Modern Hockey can trace its roots somewhat to Canada the concept has been around for centuries.</span>

    7. Basketball is Canadian <span style="color: #FF0000">Not true James Naismith invented basketball in 1891 in Springfield Massachusetts. </span>

    8. Apple pie is Canadian <span style="color: #FF0000">English have had apple pie since at least the 14th century.</span>

    9. Mr. Dress-up beats Mr.. Rogers <span style="color: #FF0000">Those are both just AWFUL</span>

    10. Tim Hortons beats Dunkin' Donuts <span style="color: #FF0000">Once again those are both just AWFUL</span>

    11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back past their White House. Then we burned it, and most of Washington ....
    We got bored because they ran away. Then, we came home and partied.... go figure. <span style="color: #FF0000">NOT TRUE, the British did this, and we still WON THE WAR!!!</span>

    12. Canada has the largest French population <span style="text-decoration: underline">that never surrendered to Germany </span> . <span style="color: #FF0000">So you have all the cowards who ran away as they saw the Germans comming... Nothing to be proud of.</span>

    13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to <span style="text-decoration: underline">anyone, anywhere. EVER</span>! (We got clobbered in the odd battle but prevailed in ALL the wars) <span style="color: #FF0000">Yes, be proud of your 10 Mounties they fought valiantly and died...</span>

    14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and lasted a little over an hour. <span style="color: #CC0000">That's because no one would sensibly fight longer for such a wasteland!</span>

    15. The only person who was arrested in our Civil war was an American mercenary, he slept in and missed the whole thing. He showed up just in time to get caught. <span style="color: #FF0000">This is what you call a scapegoat, Imagine the conversation... "lets blame it on the American"</span>

    16. A Canadian invented Standard Time.

    17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the world's oldest company. <span style="color: #FF0000">This was originally a British company circa 1670ish.. you get no credit for this answer...
    smile.gif
    </span>

    18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes. (That's more information than I need!) <span style="color: #FF0000">Dog sledding can be traced back to approximately 800BC, once again no credit for this either.</span>

    19. We know what to do with the parts of a buffalo. <span style="color: #FF0000">Ranchers all across the US do too!</span>

    20. We don't marry our kin-folk... <span style="color: #FF0000">We seriously don't need to bring Arkansas, Mississippi and Louisiana into this. They are the Ugly Step children of the states.</span>

    21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, Velcro, Zippers, insulin, Penicillin and the telephone. Also short wave radios which save countless Lives each year. <span style="color: #FF0000">We have Polaris and Artic Cat, both better than Ski-poo's. Clayton Jacobson II invented the jet-ski, he was AMERICAN. Velcro was invented by a guy from Switzerland. Insulin is a crutch.. Sir Alexander Flemming invented Penicillin, he was Scottish. The Telephone was invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in SCOTLAND! The short wave radio was invented by a British fellow Oliver Lodge.</span>

    22. We have ALL frozen our tongues to Something metal and lived to tell about it. <span style="color: #FF0000">This is not something to brag about.</span>

    23. A Canadian invented Superman. <span style="color: #FF0000">Actually two people conjured up Superman, a canadian and an AMERICAN. You get half credit.</span>

    24. We have coloured money. <span style="color: #FF0000">You have fake money and you spelled COLORED wrong.
    laugh.gif
    </span>

    25. Our beer advertisements kick ass (Incidently... So does our beer) <span style="color: #FF0000">Nothing good has ever came from Canadian television. And should you have said Canadian Whiskey kicks ass you would have just earned bonus points on top of your currently very negative score. Canadian Beer however does not qualify.</span>

    BUT MOST IMPORTANT !

    The handles on our beer cases are big enough To fit your hands in with mitts on.

    OOOoohhhhh..... Canada !!

    Oh yeah... And our elections only take one day!

    Pass this on if you're proud to be Canadian!!! I just did.
    <span style="color: #FF0000">Yes, be proud, proud of all the LIES.. Your ability to be proud; as far as I can tell; comes from a guy who made a better watch. Move to American, then you can actually find something to be proud of!</span>
    =================================================================

    Ok, let the spit-balls, paper airplanes, and all that start now. Ya'll 're just jealous.
    wink.gif

    </div></div>
     

    shootist2004

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    The British did burn Washington but they left because a tornado hit town.....
     

    sirhrmechanic

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    Down here (awash in Canadian Tourists), we have a few observations:

    1. Only a Canadian washes his luxury car every single day, even in winter, even in a snowstorm. Even if it stays clean for only the drive home.

    2. Canadians have delusions of global relevance.

    3. Canadians always travel in packs on the highway. See one Canadian license plate, there will be another one RIGHT there. Mutual overwatch in Scary, better-armed USA.

    4. The difference between a Canadian and a canoe is that a canoe tips.

    5. When pulled over (usually while speeding home from the car wash), invariably try to weasel out of citation with the following statements: "But I'm not from here, eh?" "Do you know who I am?" or "I'm used to Kilometers."

    Of course, most of 'ours' are from Quebec and Ontario. The Westerners are a much better class of Canadians.

    And the Newfies are a laugh-riot, especially after 2 cases of Keiths and if they get ahold of a Codfish. Though they're always 1/2 hour late for some reason.

    Tabernaq and all in Fun... Sorry Sean, you started it. ;-)

    Sirhr
     
    G

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

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    <object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pXtVrDPhHBg"></param> <param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pXtVrDPhHBg" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"> </embed></object>
     

    konabully

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    So, who pwns who? At least we don't have the Queen of England printed on our money (that goes for Australia & New Zealand too.)

    grin.gif


    Ah, sibling rivalry...
     

    aam

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DMAX2500HD</div><div class="ubbcode-body">"11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back past their White House. Then we burned it, and most of Washington ....
    We got bored because they ran away. Then, we came home and partied.... go figure."

    This is funny. Canada wasn’t even founded until July 1st 1867. So how did Canadians push American back past the white house during the war of 1812??????? </div></div>

    In their time machine
    laugh.gif
     

    KRAKER

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    Michigan got the best parts of Canada, Kick Ass hockey and Tim Hortons. Also, Canadian beer is over rated. There I said it.
     

    ar15x

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    Well what does that say for the USA or economy is far worse tha Canada'a
     

    bengates

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    Some things Canadian are good!

    <object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qxnui77xQOQ&feature=related"></param> <param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qxnui77xQOQ&feature=related" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"> </embed></object>
     

    Exo

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sean the Nailer</div><div class="ubbcode-body">if that's the case, then all I can say is "commiefornia has gotta be good for something"
    </div></div>

    no...its still not good for anything...
     

    LeviBerg

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    Re: And today's lesson is....

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sirhrmechanic</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Down here (awash in Canadian Tourists), we have a few observations:

    Of course, most of 'ours' are from Quebec and Ontario. The Westerners are a much better class of Canadians.


    Sirhr </div></div>

    Hey now, the hippy clowns from Toronto and Montreal give us good rural southern Ontario folk a bad name.