At what age did you wake up
- Thread starter Gunfighter14e2
- Start date
Caught myself parroting something I didn’t believe. Thought about it and realized it wasn’t the first time. And I’ve been cynical since childhood, so this parroting of bs should not have been a natural trait.
I've gone through 2 cycles of this....early 20's total distrust and then mid 40's full circle. Now I do my best to give everyone a chance from step 1.
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I was the skinny nerdy kid with asthma. Still am.... ?
So I saw a lot of people who would be my friend away from school be assholes when it “bought credit with the crowd”. Age 7 was a big wake up.
I have been a believer in a small group of close friends ever since.
Freshmen in High School.
Was a junior rep to the state Republican convention.
Went to every meeting from the local caucus, county, district, then state.
Knew then that everything else was way different than it appeared......
So I saw a lot of people who would be my friend away from school be assholes when it “bought credit with the crowd”. Age 7 was a big wake up.
I have been a believer in a small group of close friends ever since.
Freshmen in High School.
Was a junior rep to the state Republican convention.
Went to every meeting from the local caucus, county, district, then state.
Knew then that everything else was way different than it appeared......
About year 23 in my 25 year military career.
Sir(s), ?, Sir(s)
Sir(s), ?, Sir(s)
I've always been forgiving (naive). Long story, I won't go into, but spring of my senior year of High School, I cut ties with a lot of jagoffs that I previously thought I couldn't live without. Not only could I, but I was much happier for it.
Met my future wife, got married in '84, Mom died in 1990, 5 year estate battle. Severed all ties (wife did it actually, I followed along) with the older (executor) lying, thieving brother in 1993. Best thing I ever did (or, speaking honestly, my wife did for me). He's twice divorced, a deadbeat that has taken both exes for half their belongings and SS.
Met my future wife, got married in '84, Mom died in 1990, 5 year estate battle. Severed all ties (wife did it actually, I followed along) with the older (executor) lying, thieving brother in 1993. Best thing I ever did (or, speaking honestly, my wife did for me). He's twice divorced, a deadbeat that has taken both exes for half their belongings and SS.
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When that doctor pulled me into the cold cruel world, slapped me hard enough to make me cry, and stuck his finger in my mouth....
Followed by my mom giving me a nasty tasting rubber nipple for my very first meal...
My first awakening, followed by my first disappointment...
Then, 2-3 years old, my next memory is of my brother, 4 years older than me, taking my stuff, and my grandmother siding with him, and me getting a switch applied to my legs...
And every year after that, one thing or another let me see more and more people had to earn what they got.
By age 5, I knew you couldnt trust 90% of your family members.
By age 6, and the first grade in school, I knew most of those classmates for the assholes they were. 57 years later, they proved it again and again.
At age 6, thanks to George Wallace, State troopers, National Guard, and other authority figures, on my first day at school, I learned not to trust any of them. Life following that seriously reinforced you cant trust a politician...
By age 7, I knew you couldnt trust a school bus driver, school teacher, or principal.
Added Sunday school teachers in there about the same time.
Between 7 and 12, the Klan shot into my house, and at 12, me holding a shotgun, I watched my dad beat a klansman 3/4 to dead... me covering his back, and scared beyond words.
By age 14, I was somewhere between a cynic and a stoic when it came to friends, acquaintances, and other people.
By age 15, I knew you couldnt trust an employer...
By age 16, I knew women were lying users (had my driver's license, my own car, and could get them away from the crowd, where they had to be truthful in person, one on one... ?). Most of them that met me after that knew what I was too....
By then, I knew what to expect and I've had a lot of fun since then. Still enjoying life to the max. Rarely surprised by anything.
And it's so rewarding when you find those good people, who give friendship and earn brotherhood, and prove there are some very worthy people out there. Life with them IS good.
Followed by my mom giving me a nasty tasting rubber nipple for my very first meal...
My first awakening, followed by my first disappointment...
Then, 2-3 years old, my next memory is of my brother, 4 years older than me, taking my stuff, and my grandmother siding with him, and me getting a switch applied to my legs...
And every year after that, one thing or another let me see more and more people had to earn what they got.
By age 5, I knew you couldnt trust 90% of your family members.
By age 6, and the first grade in school, I knew most of those classmates for the assholes they were. 57 years later, they proved it again and again.
At age 6, thanks to George Wallace, State troopers, National Guard, and other authority figures, on my first day at school, I learned not to trust any of them. Life following that seriously reinforced you cant trust a politician...
By age 7, I knew you couldnt trust a school bus driver, school teacher, or principal.
Added Sunday school teachers in there about the same time.
Between 7 and 12, the Klan shot into my house, and at 12, me holding a shotgun, I watched my dad beat a klansman 3/4 to dead... me covering his back, and scared beyond words.
By age 14, I was somewhere between a cynic and a stoic when it came to friends, acquaintances, and other people.
By age 15, I knew you couldnt trust an employer...
By age 16, I knew women were lying users (had my driver's license, my own car, and could get them away from the crowd, where they had to be truthful in person, one on one... ?). Most of them that met me after that knew what I was too....
By then, I knew what to expect and I've had a lot of fun since then. Still enjoying life to the max. Rarely surprised by anything.
And it's so rewarding when you find those good people, who give friendship and earn brotherhood, and prove there are some very worthy people out there. Life with them IS good.
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Had a similar experience went to a small country school K-8th of 30 kids in my grade 25 where the same all those years. When I went off to the big city for H.S. I was a sheep among wolves. It didn't take long to learn most of society runs in packs and are up to no good.
Fifteen... there were hostages in Iran. The soviets invaded Afghanistan. Gas lines. America had idiot carter at the helm.
And two things happened... Charlie Daniels did the song “In America.” And I saw Ronald Reagan on tv.
I knew he would be President first time I saw him. That Jimmy Carter was a loser. And that I would be a Republican.
Cheers, Sirhr
And two things happened... Charlie Daniels did the song “In America.” And I saw Ronald Reagan on tv.
I knew he would be President first time I saw him. That Jimmy Carter was a loser. And that I would be a Republican.
Cheers, Sirhr
10 trying to leave church in the middle making a break outside to freedom , a very pretty young girl stopped me gave me a kiss and walked me back to my seat like a good dum puppy I followed . Dam witch craft it was a trap . I was duped , foolish , and young I was . Hope that counts as woke .
From the first time I played hide & seek, probably about 5 years old. You learn that one cannot live in society without having to choose sides. You're a hider or a seeker. Sure, the seeker starts out on his own but then he "turns" the hiders one by one until all are found. Then at age 6 you choose sides at recess to play sports. But we could be on a side and then be friends again after the game was played.
Then later I realized that, often, the true enemy was not on "their" side but on "my" side. The list of people I would fight for/with is small and the list of those I would fight against...........
well, let's just say my true friends know who they are.
Then later I realized that, often, the true enemy was not on "their" side but on "my" side. The list of people I would fight for/with is small and the list of those I would fight against...........
well, let's just say my true friends know who they are.
I’ve always been the cynical guy that stood back and watched how people acted and what they said to who in a crowd vs 1 on 1. The people who stood up for the nerd or the weak while the jackals all ganged up together is who I’ve always tried to side with..... even when it meant I stood alone against them.
I would say about a year or so after I left my house where I grew up. My family is very liberal and of course anti gun. I never shot a gun till I was 18. My mom said guns were only good for hunting animals with. She wouldn’t allow my step-father (bless his departed soul) to keep any of his guns in the house. Hell we weren’t even allowed to have toy guns. Once I started thinking for myself is when I realized the world isn’t safe or even able to take it for face value.
My Moment that affirmed my suspicions. Owning a boat, everyone wants to fish and have fun in the sun. Almost no one wants to help clean or fuel the boat. Most people will use you and discard you when they are done with you.
About 4 months after starting the ninth grade.
When I had started the eight grade, the HS I would have had to attend lost its academic accreditation. My parents decided to send me to a Prep school (not boarding) as it would expose me to a much better group of people than I currently associated with. We lived in a town outside of Boston that was pretty poor and there were the usual problems faced by the lazy class that pan-handled the government for their subsistence.
When I started 9th grade and this prep school, I felt completely out of place. Most kids came from wealthier and more refined professional families (lawyers, doctors, etc) than my family. I really cringed at the thought of my uneducated, immigrant parents meeting the teachers at the first family conference day. I was embarrassed to say the least.
Two months later, 3 students (1 freshman and 2 upper-class men) were caught with drugs on campus - hard drugs (cocaine). They were expelled. Two months after that, I went to a party hosted by another freshman and I was shocked to see more cocaine and hallucinogenic drugs than I ever saw. My local friends and I had little to no money and drugs like these were not part of the public school that I used to attend.
It became readily apparent that despite the education and position of their parents, these kids were worse than the hooligans I used to hang out with at public school. My parents were incredulous when I told them. Don't get me wrong, the education was first rate but the illusion that money and education makes you better was shattered for both me and my parents. Never was embarrassed again..I was proud.
When I had started the eight grade, the HS I would have had to attend lost its academic accreditation. My parents decided to send me to a Prep school (not boarding) as it would expose me to a much better group of people than I currently associated with. We lived in a town outside of Boston that was pretty poor and there were the usual problems faced by the lazy class that pan-handled the government for their subsistence.
When I started 9th grade and this prep school, I felt completely out of place. Most kids came from wealthier and more refined professional families (lawyers, doctors, etc) than my family. I really cringed at the thought of my uneducated, immigrant parents meeting the teachers at the first family conference day. I was embarrassed to say the least.
Two months later, 3 students (1 freshman and 2 upper-class men) were caught with drugs on campus - hard drugs (cocaine). They were expelled. Two months after that, I went to a party hosted by another freshman and I was shocked to see more cocaine and hallucinogenic drugs than I ever saw. My local friends and I had little to no money and drugs like these were not part of the public school that I used to attend.
It became readily apparent that despite the education and position of their parents, these kids were worse than the hooligans I used to hang out with at public school. My parents were incredulous when I told them. Don't get me wrong, the education was first rate but the illusion that money and education makes you better was shattered for both me and my parents. Never was embarrassed again..I was proud.
I guess maybe sometime around 14 I realized...
1. You have to learn to take care of yourself.
2. There is no one who will take care of you.
3. The only one you can rely on...is yourself.
After you realize the above, most things seem to make sense. From friends to family, work, individual responsibility, motives, etc...
1. You have to learn to take care of yourself.
2. There is no one who will take care of you.
3. The only one you can rely on...is yourself.
After you realize the above, most things seem to make sense. From friends to family, work, individual responsibility, motives, etc...
When I was in high school, one of my older cousins joined the local sheriffs office as a deputy after his hitch in the Marines. Spending time with him I learned there are some truly evil people in this world, some situations can only be corrected by force, and the quicker it happens, the better.
The day I quit drinking. You get to watch friends walk away like you never existed. What stung the worst was when family did the same.
I can count the number of people I truly trust and believe in on one hand, and have fingers left over.
I can count the number of people I truly trust and believe in on one hand, and have fingers left over.
My kind quiet father listened to Limbaugh in the early 90’s when I was in middle school. I wasn’t one of the “cool kids” despite my father being wealthy, we had two airplanes, a T-210 and a 172. I was bullied till high school when I finally decided I didn’t care to be bullied anymore at 6’ and 180lbs.
I guess ever since middle school, and sitting with my father while listening to the radio.
my parents are no longer wealthy, business partner died and slowly lost the company. But they are still the best parents ever.
I hate everyone equally since the 90’s.
I guess ever since middle school, and sitting with my father while listening to the radio.
my parents are no longer wealthy, business partner died and slowly lost the company. But they are still the best parents ever.
I hate everyone equally since the 90’s.
As a kid I made my mistakes. Not horrible ones, but bad enough to teach me I did not want to keep making them into adulthood. Most of my life I worked hard and never really thought all that hard work gave me all I deserved. But still I tried to work hard and be a honest man, almost to a fault. I learned people really do not like honest people. Honesty is too scary for most. They would rather be blinded by lies. I am not, nor ever was I perfect. I knew and accepted that, something most folks never do.
Eventually I got the opportunities and took the chances to be reasonably successful. It could have been more success, but I was faulted with wanting to lift others with me. No matter how much I ever did for or helped others. They would all eventually screw me. It hurt me, but it did not change me. Some would say I never learned. I however think it was the others who never learned. I am ok with who I am, even the warts.
Ultimately I think, no one ever really wakes up. Not even me. I have found that whenever one has seen the light. That light only blinds them to other things. You can't ever fully see in the dark or the light. You need both to be whole. And no matter how woke you are? You, like me, will never know it all or be 100% righteous. JMHO
Eventually I got the opportunities and took the chances to be reasonably successful. It could have been more success, but I was faulted with wanting to lift others with me. No matter how much I ever did for or helped others. They would all eventually screw me. It hurt me, but it did not change me. Some would say I never learned. I however think it was the others who never learned. I am ok with who I am, even the warts.
Ultimately I think, no one ever really wakes up. Not even me. I have found that whenever one has seen the light. That light only blinds them to other things. You can't ever fully see in the dark or the light. You need both to be whole. And no matter how woke you are? You, like me, will never know it all or be 100% righteous. JMHO
I got my first paycheck at 12, had the amount I was supposed to be paid figured out ahead of time.
They took social security out of it. My parents told me I would get it back when I turned 65.
I knew at that instant that on top of all the being a kid bullshit, that government was a complete scam too.
They took social security out of it. My parents told me I would get it back when I turned 65.
I knew at that instant that on top of all the being a kid bullshit, that government was a complete scam too.
That's a microcosm for life as well. People want sausage, dont wanna know anything about it.
I have a boat, my boat buddy has a girl with amazing boobs and he brings cash. So, I’m set.... lol
First stage was with dealing with local gang bangers as a kid in Southern California...I was basically having to dodge them left and right.
Second stage was seeing what 'humans' were capable of first hand in Iraq.
Third stage was when I developed a close relationship with a Company Commander, who was a huge Libertarian and made me research his argument points.
Fourth stage was when I worked in the basement of the Pentagon and saw how the sausage was really made, and the hypocrisy of government...I was most disgusted with how many people turn a blind eye to it in order for career progression.
I now know that bullshit comes at you from all angles...there is a reason why I live as far as possible from people.
Second stage was seeing what 'humans' were capable of first hand in Iraq.
Third stage was when I developed a close relationship with a Company Commander, who was a huge Libertarian and made me research his argument points.
Fourth stage was when I worked in the basement of the Pentagon and saw how the sausage was really made, and the hypocrisy of government...I was most disgusted with how many people turn a blind eye to it in order for career progression.
I now know that bullshit comes at you from all angles...there is a reason why I live as far as possible from people.
I was real young when the Brady bill came around. My Vietnam vet uncle who didn’t even own a gun turned into a collector overnight. I remember having my eyes opening early. I can remember finding books about mk ultra and things like that in my school library of all places. I read George Orwell’s 1984. I couldn’t stand having the gov steal from me. I went to schools in Houston were white was the minority and saw a gang member force a kid to give him head in a semi open courtyard. Later that day the cop at our school stopped me to see if my leatherman was in the pouch on my belt. Typical mo even then. They can’t protect you but they can’t let you protect yourself either. No matter how woke you think you are there is always someone behind a curtain you don’t yet see. I won’t go into details about the things that opened my eyes wide in the mil.. let’s just say I have em the chance to prove me wrong and they proved me right. Dealing with cops at a real early age allowed me to see the games that cid tried to play with me. How deep down the rabbit hole do ya want to go?
The summer before the 2nd grade we moved from TX back to Mississippi where both my parents' families are from. My first camping/fishing trip with my Dad and 3 of my Mom's brothers was a real eye-opening event. I had never known my Uncle Ray to be anything but a righteous man, a deacon at church 3 times a week, no curse words, every moment to the glory of God and a family man. But on the creek bank, I saw a different man. Cursed like a sailor as he and my Uncle E took turns fucking some ugly ass woman who was the wife of Uncle R's fishing buddy. So the game went like this, Uncle E would take the husband down the river to run the lines while back at camp Uncle R would be rocking his pop-up camper with the hag, then the next time Uncle R would go run lines and Uncle E would be in the camper with the hag.
I don't know why this always bothered me so much. I never held it against Uncle E, but then again he didn't try to act holier than thou all the time. Or maybe it's because I always loved my Aunt Ell so much, Uncle R's wife, and I couldn't understand why he was doing this behind her back.
I also learned Dad and my Uncle Mac were just there to drink beer and fish and they acted the same no matter what we were doing. My Dad is the same S.o.B. Friday night or Sunday morning and that is what I try to be. Only now in his 70s, my Dad is a little less of an S.o.B toward most folks.
I don't know why this always bothered me so much. I never held it against Uncle E, but then again he didn't try to act holier than thou all the time. Or maybe it's because I always loved my Aunt Ell so much, Uncle R's wife, and I couldn't understand why he was doing this behind her back.
I also learned Dad and my Uncle Mac were just there to drink beer and fish and they acted the same no matter what we were doing. My Dad is the same S.o.B. Friday night or Sunday morning and that is what I try to be. Only now in his 70s, my Dad is a little less of an S.o.B toward most folks.
Q
QuickNDirty
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6th grade. Gun boards, Alex Jones, and the realization that care bears were the same sorts of fuckers pushing the AWB.
It happened in the 1968 election cycle.
My Brother Bob, who just died, was a Republican candidate for City Council in a big city (New Brunswick, NJ). I played a very active part in his campaign, getting into the strategy meetings, doing a lot of canvassing, and rubbing elbows with donors and supplicants. There was some stuff going on that even my young and naive noggin was getting confused about. Long story short, he gained the highest percentage of the vote that any Republican candidate had ever received up to that date, and still wasn't elected. It was a horse race election in a sewn up Democratic stronghold.
But the real eye popper was the fact that I was also campaigning for Tricky Dick's first term. The next five years proved to me that Democracy is mainly about bucks, smoke, and mirrors.
Back room smoke..., and the folks who make such things all go in a particular direction don't appear in any mirrors, ever...
In 1968, I was 22. The ladies in my life have always been treated well by me, and have treated me the same.
The politicians, not so much...
Greg
My Brother Bob, who just died, was a Republican candidate for City Council in a big city (New Brunswick, NJ). I played a very active part in his campaign, getting into the strategy meetings, doing a lot of canvassing, and rubbing elbows with donors and supplicants. There was some stuff going on that even my young and naive noggin was getting confused about. Long story short, he gained the highest percentage of the vote that any Republican candidate had ever received up to that date, and still wasn't elected. It was a horse race election in a sewn up Democratic stronghold.
But the real eye popper was the fact that I was also campaigning for Tricky Dick's first term. The next five years proved to me that Democracy is mainly about bucks, smoke, and mirrors.
Back room smoke..., and the folks who make such things all go in a particular direction don't appear in any mirrors, ever...
In 1968, I was 22. The ladies in my life have always been treated well by me, and have treated me the same.
The politicians, not so much...
Greg
All joking aside from day 1.
My parents always made us watch the news every night at dinner, and read the newspaper (before they were all communist rags and hacks).
Of course that spurred tons of conversation etc.
Remember being in grade school thinking that the teacher didn’t watch the news last night because he had the current events mixed up.
But with that I had a few hard times fitting in because I called BS when I saw it. Never could and still can’t stand uninformed soap boxers.
My parents always made us watch the news every night at dinner, and read the newspaper (before they were all communist rags and hacks).
Of course that spurred tons of conversation etc.
Remember being in grade school thinking that the teacher didn’t watch the news last night because he had the current events mixed up.
But with that I had a few hard times fitting in because I called BS when I saw it. Never could and still can’t stand uninformed soap boxers.
I grew up in a small E. Colo. town with about 20 in my class from 1st. grade til graduating. There were a couple assholes in our class but most were good. By 1st. grade I already knew not to trust some adults and 1st. grade let me know there were bad kids too so I was pretty awake by then.
My Dad's job took us to Greeley where I went to 7th. and 8th. grades. I had to go to the Jr. High in the rough part of town where there were many"diverse" students and the classes had at least 200 in them. Some couldn't speak a word of English.
Compared to where I had come from, I was like "The lost Jew looking for Jesus." I learned a lot of hatred and distrust there. Basically, in that school, you weren't there to learn the 3 Rs, you were there to learn how to survive on the streets and to always have your switchblade sharp and at the ready and to run when the chains and zipguns came out.
I sure was glad when we moved back Home.
I really had a big awakening when I was drafted in 68 and ended up over in Sunny Southeast Asia for a year. 69/70
There I learned Love for my Brothers in the Bush, no matter their race, religion, color etc. We were all in the same boat on Shit Creek paddling like mad to stay alive. That experience also taught me that some of the things I had learned in 7th. and 8th. grade were not right, we were all the same and the ones you couldn't trust were quickly weeded out.
That experience also taught me to not believe everything the Government tells you and like GUN NUT IN IA who posted above to be VERY cautious of anyone that you call Sir. Not all Sirs were bad, in fact there were quite a few that were good, but, overall the Sirs I served with sucked. Too many ROTC, OTS, 90 day wonders around but I did have good experiences with Mustangs and NG officers among others.
I am still out in rural E. Colo. in a small town, and my circle of friends is small. I could not live in the City.
If you want to get on the bad side of me, call me Sir. I will politely ask you to never call me that again. If you do it again, I will walk away as you did not understand how much that pissed me off. I also do not use Sir as a greeting etc. to others, Mr. Name or whatever, but never Sir.
My Dad's job took us to Greeley where I went to 7th. and 8th. grades. I had to go to the Jr. High in the rough part of town where there were many"diverse" students and the classes had at least 200 in them. Some couldn't speak a word of English.
Compared to where I had come from, I was like "The lost Jew looking for Jesus." I learned a lot of hatred and distrust there. Basically, in that school, you weren't there to learn the 3 Rs, you were there to learn how to survive on the streets and to always have your switchblade sharp and at the ready and to run when the chains and zipguns came out.
I sure was glad when we moved back Home.
I really had a big awakening when I was drafted in 68 and ended up over in Sunny Southeast Asia for a year. 69/70
There I learned Love for my Brothers in the Bush, no matter their race, religion, color etc. We were all in the same boat on Shit Creek paddling like mad to stay alive. That experience also taught me that some of the things I had learned in 7th. and 8th. grade were not right, we were all the same and the ones you couldn't trust were quickly weeded out.
That experience also taught me to not believe everything the Government tells you and like GUN NUT IN IA who posted above to be VERY cautious of anyone that you call Sir. Not all Sirs were bad, in fact there were quite a few that were good, but, overall the Sirs I served with sucked. Too many ROTC, OTS, 90 day wonders around but I did have good experiences with Mustangs and NG officers among others.
I am still out in rural E. Colo. in a small town, and my circle of friends is small. I could not live in the City.
If you want to get on the bad side of me, call me Sir. I will politely ask you to never call me that again. If you do it again, I will walk away as you did not understand how much that pissed me off. I also do not use Sir as a greeting etc. to others, Mr. Name or whatever, but never Sir.
Right after my third was born I had a vasectomy and after realizing I was "shooting blanks" I think my perspective about my role as a protector of my family changed. so when I was 32 years old. I never was an idiot before that, I don't think, but now that I decided to live the way I think I am happier and safer.
As soon as I stepped off the bus and the drill instructor started screaming for no particular reason.
- At 15 I had a job in a department store and couldn't wrap my head around what a bunch of lazy, dumb and worthless to everyone around them the majority of the people who were 25+ old that worked there were. It was truly the first time I got a behind the scenes look at both 'life' and how much of a total fucking facade everything is. I think one of the biggest motivators for me in life was to not end up as that guy in his mid 40s, as a department manager in store like this, making maybe $40k, at a job where I was 1-2 positions below when I was 15.
- By 17/18 I realized that its much less about who you were or where you came from as it is the people that will suck at life are A. able to be picked out of the crowd right now if you know what to look for B. has zero to do with race/sex/whatever and C. almost all of them are given the exact same chances/opportunities to succeed but simply do not take them and in a lot of cases, do not want them.
- During University I learned that anything is possible, for some people, if you simply do not give them an option to fail. All the bullshit you'd hear now about 'this is too hard' or 'you cant do this' or how unfair shit is, didn't exist where I went to school because you had 10 people willing to basically kill you in broad daylight to get into your spot. School was a job, 6 days a week. All day. You figured out how to manage it, your schedule and when/how to carve out things to make it work because it was actually designed in a way that you had to do this on your own and look at it as part of a larger 'problem' or you'd be gone due to not being able to even adapt to the start of it. If this meant organizing with others to get a schedule down of who would do what, sleeping arrangments, me up till 4am smoking Camel non-filters studying in a hallway, assigning people ways of finding out things ahead of time, whatever, it was actually part of a greater requirment on us that we were never directly told about. The irony here is, I got kicked out of a private Catholic highschool my junior year for organizing an actual gambling/betting circle where once semi caught, no one talked at all and we had made a insane amount of money considering we were like 17. But this level of organization was actually 'looked for' during University in order to survive.
- Around 21/22 I learned that there is no good in some people, regardless of what you think or have been told. It's not there and the only thing you need to figure out is how to get that possibility out of your mind. The only thing you can do with some people in this world is to kill them; and you need to understand that.
- From then to now, I just keep refining my understanding of just how shit people are in general. Friends are overrated and will disappoint you 99% of the time. Even watch your family members because there are some shitbirds about, regardless of how great you remember them being from Christmas when you were 12. Marry someone who would go to war with you. Trust only those who you've had to trust and they came through, instea dof those that ask you to trust them. Always be ready to kill absolutely everyone in a room.
- By 17/18 I realized that its much less about who you were or where you came from as it is the people that will suck at life are A. able to be picked out of the crowd right now if you know what to look for B. has zero to do with race/sex/whatever and C. almost all of them are given the exact same chances/opportunities to succeed but simply do not take them and in a lot of cases, do not want them.
- During University I learned that anything is possible, for some people, if you simply do not give them an option to fail. All the bullshit you'd hear now about 'this is too hard' or 'you cant do this' or how unfair shit is, didn't exist where I went to school because you had 10 people willing to basically kill you in broad daylight to get into your spot. School was a job, 6 days a week. All day. You figured out how to manage it, your schedule and when/how to carve out things to make it work because it was actually designed in a way that you had to do this on your own and look at it as part of a larger 'problem' or you'd be gone due to not being able to even adapt to the start of it. If this meant organizing with others to get a schedule down of who would do what, sleeping arrangments, me up till 4am smoking Camel non-filters studying in a hallway, assigning people ways of finding out things ahead of time, whatever, it was actually part of a greater requirment on us that we were never directly told about. The irony here is, I got kicked out of a private Catholic highschool my junior year for organizing an actual gambling/betting circle where once semi caught, no one talked at all and we had made a insane amount of money considering we were like 17. But this level of organization was actually 'looked for' during University in order to survive.
- Around 21/22 I learned that there is no good in some people, regardless of what you think or have been told. It's not there and the only thing you need to figure out is how to get that possibility out of your mind. The only thing you can do with some people in this world is to kill them; and you need to understand that.
- From then to now, I just keep refining my understanding of just how shit people are in general. Friends are overrated and will disappoint you 99% of the time. Even watch your family members because there are some shitbirds about, regardless of how great you remember them being from Christmas when you were 12. Marry someone who would go to war with you. Trust only those who you've had to trust and they came through, instea dof those that ask you to trust them. Always be ready to kill absolutely everyone in a room.
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Damn, you are a German, but I like that. The short time I spent in Germany in the hospital taught me a lot of how they felt and thought.
I don't think there are a lot of them over there now that have the Balls that you do, let alone put it out there.
Maybe that is why you are here now?
I don't think there are a lot of them over there now that have the Balls that you do, let alone put it out there.
Maybe that is why you are here now?
First was about 10 when mom went into a hospital. She was in and out for the next 6 years. I went to catholic school and had some amazing guidance from the nuns. I also found out how ruthless some could be.
Quit drinking and the friends I had spent most of my life with vanished. Took some getting used to but not a problem.
I learned about people at the cocktail parties at my grandparents and great uncle's summer places. Tip O'Neil use to come to my uncle's every Friday he had a party. In the 3 or 4 years, I went to that I never saw him bring anything. My grandfather explained that as notice how he has no problem pouring a 3 fingered scotch when he didn't bring any himself.
Quit drinking and the friends I had spent most of my life with vanished. Took some getting used to but not a problem.
I learned about people at the cocktail parties at my grandparents and great uncle's summer places. Tip O'Neil use to come to my uncle's every Friday he had a party. In the 3 or 4 years, I went to that I never saw him bring anything. My grandfather explained that as notice how he has no problem pouring a 3 fingered scotch when he didn't bring any himself.
That. That right there, is a nugget of gold.
10 went to a John Birch Society meeting. It was 1968, saw radical muslims cut people heads off. My grandfather wanted me to to be aware how groups of people threaten us. They still do.
Started working for stuff I wanted.
13 was the first white kids to intergrate an all black school. Learned how to survive by fighting and strenght in numbers and gangs of white kids.
14 went to high school got in a fight with a senior the first day of school. They nooging us with senior rings on the head. Had a full year of fight club at a black school, guess I wasn’t putting up with people’s shit.
18 pop said I am now responsible for myself!
Never looked back. I guess I was woke at an early age.
I will do almost anything for anybody but put up with shit from other folks. Life is too short.
Started working for stuff I wanted.
13 was the first white kids to intergrate an all black school. Learned how to survive by fighting and strenght in numbers and gangs of white kids.
14 went to high school got in a fight with a senior the first day of school. They nooging us with senior rings on the head. Had a full year of fight club at a black school, guess I wasn’t putting up with people’s shit.
18 pop said I am now responsible for myself!
Never looked back. I guess I was woke at an early age.
I will do almost anything for anybody but put up with shit from other folks. Life is too short.
As the child of Holocaust survivors, I can not recall a time in my life when i wasn’t fully cognizant of the potential for evil that another human being is capable of......or the beauty in a life well lived.
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It'd have been 7th grade for me. My sister was very ill and I'm sure my parents were spending a lot of money taking care of her; I never knew that, it's just that now that they are gone and I've handled the estate I get that distinct picture. Anyway I didn't have a lot of great clothes (a great Adidas t-shirt collection) some jeans and one pair of sneakers. I was given shit every damn day. One day a big guy stole some money from me and I flipped him off. I ran as fast as I could, but then he got a hold of me. I tried to fight, but he hit me so hard it was amazing (kid benched 400lbs in 7th or 8th...a little behind in school). After that, I was his buddy and he was my guardian angel through school (12th).
Then in 8th grade my sister passed. Still got shit from so-called friends. And got beat up a few times when my "angel" wasn't there. Anyhow that was when the guy who owned the farm we leased to duck hunt said..you HAVE to stick up for yourself. If you're being bullied, you have to fight back. And....you cannot fight fair - remember that. Ding. (Rule 1 & 2).
Eventually I started getting it, and then those great lyrics of Neil Peart started to really resonate - such as Anthem, 2112, etc. And by then...I'd come to the conclusion I could only count upon myself.
Think I had an idea since 15ish. But really woke up in Afghanistan when I saw them using disfigured children as PBIEDs. Lost all faith in humanity and will likely never get it back.
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