Been thinking about buying a UH1

The only way I could come up with to get one was to send Love Letters to Oprah and swear my undying love for her and promise her all kinds of carnal delights and anything she wanted that I could do as she has the loot to put me in the air in my helicopter.
Well, that hasn't worked out so well for me, but I still try. At this point I have realized after 25+ year, It ain't going to work out for me, sadly. But I do keep trying, Never give a inch and stick to your guns.

Did you try offering to get freaky with her feet?

sFOMIxh.jpg
 
Down here in Australia we used to have a real rich guy called Kerry Packer who owned several choppers. One of them was a Bell 205 that he kept up in the Northern Territory for the occasional spot of pig shooting. One day a call came in to the Air Force base stating that he was down out in the bush with mechanical problems, could anyone help? I grabbed some gear and got the SAR chopper to drop me off at the site, got the bird going again pretty quick and even managed to bag a couple of wild pigs on the way back to Darwin. When we got back Kerry said "What do I owe you? I said "Nothing mate, I am still on duty". He insisted on some sort of reward and asked if I had done anything else like this for others, I told him that a few weeks earlier I had fixed a King Air for our Department of Civil Aviation and they donated seven cartons of beer to our next barbecue.
The next day a pallet of beer arrived (72 cartons) plus two dressed pigs and a charcoal spit roaster big enough to take both pigs at once. I had a chat with our CO and we did some rapid re shuffling of the flying program and declared a safety stand down to deal with the problem.
 
Oh Veer, those feet don't mean shit to me, For Oprah I would rub them and kiss them and provide all kinds of other carnal delights, to say the least, just buy me that fuckin helicopter and keep us in the air.
"Come on Oprah, I know I am a whore and we all have our price. Now let's trot or shuffle down and get me a helicopter and I will drive to wherever it is and jet away." "You can come too if you don't overload the helicopter so maybe we will get a big one." FM
It is the only chance I have got to fulfill my dream.
 
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First off, I love Jerry's idea and dream and I too hold that fantasy. I just know it takes more money than most of us could ever come up with.
Second, I had to answer Veer's post with the feet as he was in this humorous thread and playing along with it all or so I thought.
Third. I am for sure a most Foul person who says what he thinks and does what he does.
Forth. I did not mean to get anyone's panties in a wad, I was just playing along and trying to show the futility in the Idea and bring a little foul humor into it.
Fifth. I did send Love Letters to Oprah for a long time and they started to come back,"Return to sender." but I knew that was my only hope as I sure as hell could not pull that off on my own as I am not rich but not poor either and she has the loot to make that dream come true and if you watch her Shows she does in fact make some peoples dreams come true, just not mine.
Last, I did not mean to piss anyone off and if I did I am sorry, but I saw this thread as a place to put in a bit of Foul humor and if it did in fact piss you off then I think you may need some Skin Thickening Cream and Fuck you, go to WalMart and see if they have a sense of humor you can buy. I am done with it and ban me if you think that is the right thing to do. Regards, FM
 
First off, I love Jerry's idea and dream and I too hold that fantasy. I just know it takes more money than most of us could ever come up with.
Second, I had to answer Veer's post with the feet as he was in this humorous thread and playing along with it all or so I thought.
Third. I am for sure a most Foul person who says what he thinks and does what he does.
Forth. I did not mean to get anyone's panties in a wad, I was just playing along and trying to show the futility in the Idea and bring a little foul humor into it.
Fifth. I did send Love Letters to Oprah for a long time and they started to come back,"Return to sender." but I knew that was my only hope as I sure as hell could not pull that off on my own as I am not rich but not poor either and she has the loot to make that dream come true and if you watch her Shows she does in fact make some peoples dreams come true, just not mine.
Last, I did not mean to piss anyone off and if I did I am sorry, but I saw this thread as a place to put in a bit of Foul humor and if it did in fact piss you off then I think you may need some Skin Thickening Cream and Fuck you, go to WalMart and see if they have a sense of humor you can buy. I am done with it and ban me if you think that is the right thing to do. Regards, FM

Just so theres no misundertanding, I think the whole thing is funnier than shit......But jesus, the mental images ? Just brutal.

BTW, what aisle number is the skin thickening creme on ?
 
First off, I love Jerry's idea and dream and I too hold that fantasy. I just know it takes more money than most of us could ever come up with.
Second, I had to answer Veer's post with the feet as he was in this humorous thread and playing along with it all or so I thought.
Third. I am for sure a most Foul person who says what he thinks and does what he does.
Forth. I did not mean to get anyone's panties in a wad, I was just playing along and trying to show the futility in the Idea and bring a little foul humor into it.
Fifth. I did send Love Letters to Oprah for a long time and they started to come back,"Return to sender." but I knew that was my only hope as I sure as hell could not pull that off on my own as I am not rich but not poor either and she has the loot to make that dream come true and if you watch her Shows she does in fact make some peoples dreams come true, just not mine.
Last, I did not mean to piss anyone off and if I did I am sorry, but I saw this thread as a place to put in a bit of Foul humor and if it did in fact piss you off then I think you may need some Skin Thickening Cream and Fuck you, go to WalMart and see if they have a sense of humor you can buy. I am done with it and ban me if you think that is the right thing to do. Regards, FM
Man if someone on this site got wadded panties over any of this.........Maybe they should go over to the PMS website.
Rock fukin' on FM
 
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Well good.
I just didn't want to hurt anyone's feelers.
That was not my intent, just humor, and if she did want to buy me a Fuckin helicopter and keep me in the air, I will keep all of my many written promises to her.
Rock on gents and have a Good Day.
Mine is now good. FM
 
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Well good.
I just didn't want to hurt anyone's feelers.
That was not my intent, just humor, and if she did want to buy me a Fuckin helicopter and keep me in the air, I will keep all of my many written promises to her.
Rock on gents and have a Good Day.
Mine is now good. FM

Hey Mike,
You didn’t hurt my feelings (other than my sides aching from laughter), but you have been singeing the nosehairs of my “tender” sensibilities.......occupational hazard for the Pit and Maggie’s though.

I do sincerely apologize to you Mike if I was the one that pushed the whole thing over the line. The banter was thick and fast, the shuttlecock was being volleyed back and forth over the net and perhaps I smacked it too hard on one of the returns.

I was out surfing the web in the last couple of days, I came across a picture of her in a movie, in some gaudy costume, out in the middle of a field, peeing for 15 minutes. There was some remark made that she should have won an Oscar for that role. The idea of me wasting my life watching her pee, much less 15 minutes worth, kinda got the best of me....don’t know what the movie was, don’t care, am finding myself almost entirely isolated from Harveywood these days and feeling really good about it.

I suppose, if I had to watch her pee for 15 minutes, I’d expect delivery of a bright shiny new C-130 and enough Jet A to circumnavigate the globe four times.
 
Just the fattest.. and the first one to throw herself onto a baked ham?



And she can pee for 10 minutes!

Cheers,

Sirhr


Uhhh, gee, thanks. Had been hoping that image was going to stop taking up space in my head.

I can just hear her now, doin’ the “yassah , massah ” thing and the all white audience “goin’ wild”.......what a crock of shit. But, thanks for freshening up my nightmare ?
 
true but she made billions and started with very little, no assets so to speak, and she is not a blatant hater.

I do like the fact that she is a self-made broad.

But some self-made people turn leftard and say "noone should follow me" and have rich person guilt.

Other self-made people.... want to open the floodgates for everyone to emulate them. I despise champagne socialists... I got mine... I'm going to deprive you of yours.

I grew up shoveling sh** on a horse farm. Now I might or might not have a Bentley and lots of really spendy guns. I want EVERYONE to know that they can live the American dream. Oprah wants EVERY American to know that now she's a millionaire... that twat can tell them how they can live better in poverty if they just listen to her blather. F&&k Oprah. She is another limousine liberal and should be lampooned at every opportunity. Along with all the other lefty's, from Joe Kennedy, to Jeff Bezos who came from nothing and think that their success means they should tell you how to live well in poverty... and that they'll take care of you.

F*&k rich socialists.

Sirhr
 
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I have to be sincere here, I do not want you guys thinking I am crazy or bullshitting you, but if we could get Clint out of California and a few members from the hide here, I would not give one fuck if Norks nuked and killed every last person in California. Not one tear would be shed. Same gos for DC.
 
true but she made billions and started with very little, no assets so to speak, and she is not a blatant hater.
Yes she did.
And after the billions she is still running around looking for attention like a 3 year old when the vid camera comes out.
Who here wouldn't go live the life dreams are made of with this wealth?
I'm tired of her woe is me stories from her youth.
Many people suffered as much or more.
They just didn't get to finish as a billionaire.

R
 
First off, ...
Forth. I did not mean to get anyone's panties in a wad, I was just playing along and trying to show the futility in the Idea and bring a little foul humor into it.
Fifth. I did send Love Letters to Oprah for a long time and they started to come back,"Return to sender." ... FM

That alone makes me hornier than all get out:cool: ...or should I get out?o_O

Seriously, Foul Mike I understood where you are going and it should not be interpreted as the worst of worst. The same kind of joke we all crack.
 
stop with the snowflakery, if he likes fat rich black smelly women and is willing to jump their boned, big tyrannosaurus bones, that is up to him, Have at it FM, if you get that Huey, please let me take it for a spin.

Opportunist, of the worst sort.......(but, at least he’s not talking about taking your place in line to jump Harpo......Or, is he ?). You better watch him carefully.
 
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Guys, I am going to be real honest here. This is a story that starts off with,"You ain't going to believe this shit but it happened." And,"This is real and no Bullshit." take it for what it is worth but this is how it went down.
Back many years ago Oprah had a TV show where she gave away Buicks to people in the audience and all was great. She had more money than she knew what to do with and although she is kind of a Hefty Honey, My Squaw is kind of that way too and I can handle that so I thought,"What the Hell do you have to lose? give it a run." send your requests to the address at the bottom of the screen.
I started then with my requests. I DID not want a Buick, I wanted a helicopter to do Archeological Research with and at that time it would have been a great asset and still would be to this day.
I got a few form letters back, which piqued my interest as I thought ,"Maybe I have a chance as it is all for research and education and maybe she might be good with this."
Well, that didn't work out. After just a bit of looking into how much it costs to put a helicopter in the air with the purchase price and the costs of keeping it in the air, I knew I was fucked without a major sponsor and I hoped it would be Oprah with her many bucks.
I was well known around town and at my work for my best efforts to get Oprah to buy me that ,Goddamit Helicopter." but she never came through.
I wrote many letters promising her my heart and soul, all kinds of carnal delights, and I don't care what your feet look like, just buy me that Fucking Helicopter. Still to this day I am on the ground and still will not give up even though it has been 25 Hell 30 years, but keep trying, Never give up no matter what. There is always hope.
That is my story and I am sticking to it because there is no Bullshit in it and I gave it my best shot. Regards, FM The Foulest of the Foul.
 
Jerry, what are your thoughts now on a helicopter?
Mine didn't work out but maybe you have something better.
Don't be pushing my time between Oprah's thigh's, I might have to get physical with you about that as I have first rights and I don't want that to go down that path between brothers that are all about the same end results that I have been working on it for many years.
Do you have a better path?
How do we get a bird in the air?
Regards, FM
 
if you have work for one, they are worthwhile. If not, then they just cost a ton of money.
Yeah, but it is such a FUN cost. Many times I've flown in the 206 JetRangers, through the mountains and valleys of B.C. When you have to help the pilot pick the pine needles off the rotors, immediately upon shutdown, you know the flight was fun.
Smart might be a different story, but fun none-the-less.
 
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Might be able to get this one cheap
Yeah, but it is such a FUN cost. Many times I've flown in the 206 JetRangers, through the mountains and valleys of B.C. When you have to help the pilot pick the pine needles off the rotors, immediately upon shutdown, you know the flight was fun.
Smart might be a different story, but fun none-the-less.

Good fun rarely comes with good decisions.
 
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Get a Robinson 250 likely 1/2 mil new and cheap to operate. When you finally figure out you don’t need a Helio? You can still sell it easy and recoup most losses. :)
 
Interesting video for helo lovers, I knew main rotor gear boxes were complex but wow...


That was a fascinating video. As a pilot, it was interesting to see the approach that Airbus takes to testing, maintenance, design, and overall care in the production and MX of their aircraft.

And if anybody ever wants to know why helicopters are so dang freakin' expensive to operate, this is a great video to show them!
 
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Since they're so expensive, since nobody would be able to use it all of the time and they need to be used, since so many people are interested, I wonder if some of you couldn't start a pool to own and share one? It'd be an undertaking, but if several of you are truly interested and invested it's probably a good way to get something decent. Given the nature of it, provided you lived within a few hundred miles of one another it shouldn't be too much of a hassle, especially if some of you have land to turn into airstrips and donate a hangar.

Kinda like a timeshare for a helicopter or a plane.
 
Since they're so expensive, since nobody would be able to use it all of the time and they need to be used, since so many people are interested, I wonder if some of you couldn't start a pool to own and share one? It'd be an undertaking, but if several of you are truly interested and invested it's probably a good way to get something decent. Given the nature of it, provided you lived within a few hundred miles of one another it shouldn't be too much of a hassle, especially if some of you have land to turn into airstrips and donate a hangar.

Kinda like a timeshare for a helicopter or a plane.

Fastest way to lose friends. Believe me.
 
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