My buddy retired out of the suck and was getting ready to retire out of the post office, shot himself. Nobody seen it coming
- Thread starter vinniedelpino
- Start date
I finally put this literal dumb fuck on ignore. Highly recommended
I lost my brother last year to this. I live with regret of not doing more, not knowing the depth of his pain. I know it wasn’t my fault, but it still feels like it was.
It exists. I have extensive experience. I got a tour of Hell one night. Scary shit, but then there's the other side.
When you're in that situation, emotionally, its not that easy to talk. There's guilt and shame, and just plain pain. It can be like youre covered in a big, wet, blanket of pain. You just want it to stop.
It was 30 years ago and you dont know the entire situation. I was visiting from out of town and had to leave that morning. We had long talks and I treid to reason with him and thought I had gotten through. Other than calling cops or something, what could I do? He would have just denied he was thinking that and ended up hating me, and nothing would have changed.
My advice was purely practical .hoping to save his son some horror.
Same here. And Have him listen to the Shawn Ryan podcasts.
Plan a backcountry trip.
We all have to acknowledge that we are not in control of them, and there is only so much you can do. We do what we can, but still get to contend with the internal guilt feeling of “failing” to arrest their fall.
Holidays are a tough time. I lost my brother the day after Christmas and lost a friend a year later on the day after Thanksgiving. In both cases - we had them over for the holiday. It’s now my opinion that buying them time by “sharing” the holiday only seems to intensify the issue when they go home.
I have another friend currently that I keep coaxing back away from the edge. He’s a “gun guy”. But it takes a lot out of you also because many times they are “toxic” to be around. We used to go shooting every weekend, but that’s dangerous when they are fucked up on booze and pills when you get there. You can only give so much of yourself in the process, and getting shot or witnessing their suicide isn’t going to be any fun either. Do you go shooting to be with them? Or do you not go with them and further alienate them? Attempting to get them professional help, in my brother’s case, only pushed him closer to the edge. So now I spend hours on the phone listening to him be angry about the world. I do not know how to fix this....
Thats several mouthfuls there and good stuff to chew on. Sometimes you have to protect yourself...and family. Its an slippery slope thats had extra grease put on it.
Not sure if this was covered. Be very cautious about him telling you what you want to hear.
I lost a best buddy who was deep down the rabbit hole, but could trick us into thinking he was fine.
Hopefully he is willing to accept the help of friendship you offer.
I lost a best buddy who was deep down the rabbit hole, but could trick us into thinking he was fine.
Hopefully he is willing to accept the help of friendship you offer.
BTDT, I know personally.
Ultimately its up to him but there is help.
40 years ago I was in that pain and it always came out as anger. I'd made the decision to end it. I was talking to an old Christian woman and made the remark "I'm gonna hurt a lot of people.". She stopped, looked at me, and said "No, no youre not. You, I, and Jesus, are going to get down and pray and find out whats eating you and you're going to live."
I'm sure it will disappoint Bender and many others but here we be 40 years later.
Anyone out there who needs to talk, send me a PM and we'll swatch phone #'s.
You answered your own question. Called someone and let them know. You seem oddly okay with it, which is even scarier. You could have done lots more then telling him to do it behind the police station to do it.
Afraid he would have hated you? What’s better, him being mad at you for trying to help?
Why are you even here Maggot? Seriously?
Like I said, yit was 30 years ago, our wernt there, you dont know the whole situation. I thought I had him talked out of it. I knew no one to call.
I made a decision based on the situation, right or wrong I can stand with it, and dont really give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks.
I you dont like it, join Pigeon man and put me on ignore.
I know you'll get a ton of advice, not sure what sticks and what doesn't. I did my career in the Air Force, it wasn't a den of horrors but we still lost guys to suicide.
My only advice to the few I've known was that life is better on this side of the grass. He's got a girlfriend who cared enough to come save him, that's love and pussy. Both are great things.
He's got friends who care, guys like you in his corner every day. Just try for God's sake to work thru it.
I'm not religious but I went through a horrible situation and wanted to lay down and die many years ago. On a pamphlet rack in a church was a little calendar book with a positive message for every day.
I thought it was stupid, but it gave me a positive thought to focus on. After a few days I looked forward to reading them. It helped.
Help can be anywhere if you just keep looking and focus on living. Accept it.
My only advice to the few I've known was that life is better on this side of the grass. He's got a girlfriend who cared enough to come save him, that's love and pussy. Both are great things.
He's got friends who care, guys like you in his corner every day. Just try for God's sake to work thru it.
I'm not religious but I went through a horrible situation and wanted to lay down and die many years ago. On a pamphlet rack in a church was a little calendar book with a positive message for every day.
I thought it was stupid, but it gave me a positive thought to focus on. After a few days I looked forward to reading them. It helped.
Help can be anywhere if you just keep looking and focus on living. Accept it.
Amazing how little things can change a life. I was in a phne booth in California and picked up a tract that said..."Jesus died and rose again."
Click, a light went on.
I've had a couple friends kill themselves and its not a problem you can fix by taking them out for a beer. He needs a psychiatrist or a possible 5150/rehab if he's on drugs or alcohol.
A friend of mine called me up talking about how horrible his life was, how his girlfriend left him, he was living in his parents garage, he'd been calling me like this for months and I told him I was busy with work and couldn't hang out. He wanted to move in with me I told him no, he needed to get himself cleaned up, pull yourself up by your bootstraps type of bullshit. I didn't think he would kill himself right afterward and then I didn't find out for weeks because his parents didn't have my number just a streetname that I used.
What is it you'd like me to stop?
The Mrs and I volunteer at the Veterans Therapeutic Court and with the local vet center. Between us, we’ve helped 9 vets turn their lives around.
If you have a vet center, ask them for help. They know all of the people to reach out to. If you have a veterans Therapeutic court, call them and ask about resources. They’re out there.
Prayers and good luck.
If you have a vet center, ask them for help. They know all of the people to reach out to. If you have a veterans Therapeutic court, call them and ask about resources. They’re out there.
Prayers and good luck.
Not true. Many gun-haters and professionals, esp. women, see this as best option.
There is an isolation going on that is NOT organic. We need to take care of each other.
Spiritual warfare is VERY real.
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I dodnt know whee youre located but here in Lawton (Ok) theres a place you can walk in, get diagnosed, and get that treatment. I've heard it helps but usually oonly temporarily, then yu need another infusion.. They can likely direct one to services in their area.
Like mushrooms, or any consciousness altering drug, its not an answer in and of itself. what it can do is open doors to a person who feels like theyre locked in a room with no way out. Its just an opening, the individual has to grab it and keep climbing out.
Red River Ketamine Wellness Center
Red River Ketamine Wellness Center
https://rrkwc.com
Looking for Ketamine treatment in Lawton, OK? Red River Ketamine Wellness Center is providing rapid relief for mood and pain disorders to OK residents.
He drinks from time to time, but doesn't mess with drugs outside of this incident. I can say with certainty he doesn't have a drug or alcohol problem. He's a fitness nut and aside from a little extra testosterone (he's on TRT) he's clean as a whistle.
You had said early on that he took 18 or 19 Oxycontin. Those are ‘scrip only. So, he’s been getting them from somewhere. Do I think they’re the root cause of his problems? No, not at all.
I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of him having an addiction problem at this stage though. (If I missed/misunderstood something obvious, my apologies in advance).
You’ve got your work cut out for you. Lean on us, there’s probably very few things more satisfying than successfully helping pull a friend back from the edge.
Thank you, everybody, for not hammering me for my spiritual beliefs & experiences. This situation is really tough & we all do the best we can.
Your beliefs are just that. They belong to you and no one else. You don't owe anyone any thanks. You have every right to them and you always will. You don't have to justify anything to anyone.
If your buddy did tours in Iraq/Afghanistan, I'm curious if the enemy, ISIS, Al-Qaeda, Taliban suffers PTSD and off themselves?
My dad served in the Pacific in WWII and later in Korea and saw some things he never talked about but he just drank more and got meaner and more quiet at the end.
Most of the Greatest Generation returned to get degrees, start a family and own businesses and suffered in silence. Many came back scarred and wounded physically but the emotional wounds they carried went with them untold to their graves but didn't cause them to kill themselves.
It seems modern day vets are killing themselves at the rate WWII vets are dying of natural causes.
My dad served in the Pacific in WWII and later in Korea and saw some things he never talked about but he just drank more and got meaner and more quiet at the end.
Most of the Greatest Generation returned to get degrees, start a family and own businesses and suffered in silence. Many came back scarred and wounded physically but the emotional wounds they carried went with them untold to their graves but didn't cause them to kill themselves.
It seems modern day vets are killing themselves at the rate WWII vets are dying of natural causes.
I wasnt there so I can oly speculate. It seems that after Viet Nam there was a big loss of respect in our military. Then we got President Cheney and boy George who started two wars we had little chance of winning. Then we got O'Buttwad who further destroyed the faith in our troops, spreading dissention every where in our nation. Now we have an idiot at the helm. I lot must wonder "WTF did I do that for?"
Lack of real purpose, too much horror with a lack of support.
I guess you're right. Fighting as a Patriot for your country, you returned in WWII a hero and wore it with pride.
In Vietnam you were used and then spit on when you got home. No hero status.
Even after the bloodiest war, the Civil War, where the South was villainized and punished afterwards, you rarely heard of suicides.
Got tagged into this and I'll throw in my .02.
First, @vinniedelpino if your buddy needs to talk to someone, ping me with his contact info and I'll call. I'm working some stupid shifts right now so it would be difficult for him to call me and have me awake, home, and/or coherent.
I'll say straight up that if not for the people here I wouldn't be typing this. I tried calling a hotline but the girl I spoke with had zero clue what I was experiencing and couldn't understand even after I explained. One really needs to talk to someone who has "been there/done that" to get a sense they do understand.
This was the referenced thread:
www.snipershide.com
Personally I have been dealing with these issues since losing my mind in 2005 but the last one was by far the worst. God's grace, self medication and the help from people here got me through it.
First, @vinniedelpino if your buddy needs to talk to someone, ping me with his contact info and I'll call. I'm working some stupid shifts right now so it would be difficult for him to call me and have me awake, home, and/or coherent.
I'll say straight up that if not for the people here I wouldn't be typing this. I tried calling a hotline but the girl I spoke with had zero clue what I was experiencing and couldn't understand even after I explained. One really needs to talk to someone who has "been there/done that" to get a sense they do understand.
This was the referenced thread:
Who to talk to
Of late PTSD has been getting the better of me. I'm wondering if there is an anonymous source that could help. The last time it got this bad my wife had the doctors office call, and then they called the police on me. I won't be subjected to that again. Please PM if you have a source.
www.snipershide.com Personally I have been dealing with these issues since losing my mind in 2005 but the last one was by far the worst. God's grace, self medication and the help from people here got me through it.
We're here, 24/7. I always enjoy waking up in the middle of the night to hear a friends voice.Got tagged into this and I'll throw in my .02.
First, @vinniedelpino if your buddy needs to talk to someone, ping me with his contact info and I'll call. I'm working some stupid shifts right now so it would be difficult for him to call me and have me awake, home, and/or coherent.
I'll say straight up that if not for the people here I wouldn't be typing this. I tried calling a hotline but the girl I spoke with had zero clue what I was experiencing and couldn't understand even after I explained. One really needs to talk to someone who has "been there/done that" to get a sense they do understand.
This was the referenced thread:
Who to talk to
Of late PTSD has been getting the better of me. I'm wondering if there is an anonymous source that could help. The last time it got this bad my wife had the doctors office call, and then they called the police on me. I won't be subjected to that again. Please PM if you have a source.
Personally I have been dealing with these issues since losing my mind in 2005 but the last one was by far the worst. God's grace, self medication and the help from people here got me through it.
Our wonderful communist neighbors to the north, Canada, is suggesting and supporting suicide as an answer for it's geriatrics.
I wouldn't give the Left the satisfaction of off'g myself, doing to myself what they want to do. And believe me, it would be perfectly fine with our current government and elitists, looking at you Bill Gates, if you, me and everyone else here, self destructed.
That alone should keep people fighting to stay alive.
I wouldn't give the Left the satisfaction of off'g myself, doing to myself what they want to do. And believe me, it would be perfectly fine with our current government and elitists, looking at you Bill Gates, if you, me and everyone else here, self destructed.
That alone should keep people fighting to stay alive.
Personally, I support the right to end yor own life, if YOU choose to do that. Its the one thing you have that is 100% yours.
On the other hand, I'd argue against taking that step unless youre in terminal pain.
This ^^^ I’ve known two different people in my adult life that were what I would call a “high functioning” addict/alcoholic but it wasn’t visible in dealing with them they hid it well.
Eventually big life stressors happened and the issues became known but it was a surprise.
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Oh, I aint going out that way, Im going to suck every last drop of social security I can. I paid for it, I'll be damned if Chuck
With that being said that is one big issue out of the equation. I honestly feel this man needs to sit in a circle with other men that have gone threw the same dark depression and hear how they climbed out of darkness into the light. Brothers helping brothers, he should know these men have been where he is and hear there experience strength and hope, and that is where his recovery will begin. I heard another good suggestion go on a good camping trip with a trusted friend.
I don't think you have to worry about the government taking that right from you. What are they going to do, arrest you afterwards?
The cops will even help you.
Trouble is, if you dont make it home, they will lock you up.
Bring some shrooms with you man. Like others have mentioned, mushrooms could probably replace every antidepressant on the market right now and work 10x better. LSD is a little more intense, weird and introspective with not as much of the mood lifting qualities of mushrooms IMO.
5-meo-DMT and n,n-DMT if you literally want to meet God. Very good at solving addiction issues as the entities will literally tell you "come back when you aint dependant on all that nonsense". Ibogaine as well. These are extremely powerful experiences though, life changing in every way. For an easier less intense experience that is still very healing, mushrooms all the way.
This is questionable. While I do support the use of psychedelics in a therapeutic setting, with a person in that state of mind, I wouldnt recommend casual use. It's best done with a skilled therapist, in a controlled setting, where help is available if needed.
Psychedelics can peel away a lot of layers of the subconscious to get to the problem, but opening it can be very traumatic for the individual. It can bring up immense amounts of buried pain quickly.
Yeah? Then just tell them you have dirt on the Klintons.
You are not alone with the regret. My mom stepped in front of a freight train a few years back after a long career as a NICU nurse and a particularly devastating case where the infant died through no fault of hers, but she didn't take it that way. Since then, I try to tell folks what they mean to me every chance I get.
Having talked to those “trained” people before, I can tell you that they’re trained alright. Trained only to see weaknesses and to try and prescribe them away.
The real world doesn’t work like a chemistry lab though, and we end up seeing the results like with Chris Kyle’s death.
He was killed incidentally by a bad prescription.
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