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Best Things of Being in a Relationship (serious, funny, sarcastic, I don't care)

And the blowjobs
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15yrs this year of my missus putting up with my antics and wild sense of adventure. Even though she is grounded and not adventurous at all, and that's both in and out of the bedroom sadly.
 
Being able to fart without leaving the room or blaming it on the dog you forgot died 2 months ago
 
Two and done. There will never be a third. Way too many fucked up crazy bitches trying to change their men. And then there's this:

That was actually a good article to read. My two ex's were exactly as he described as the issues. They subscribed to the "A happy wife makes a happy life" dynamic, which I grew to absolutely despise, and still loathe the actual meaning of the phrase. "Make the woman happy....or else"... emotional abuse. If she ain't happy, then by God, NOBODY AROUND WILL BE HAPPY EITHER!

Yeah, fuck that.

A "give and take" relationship will fail. A "give and give" relationship will flourish with partners whose personalities, skills, talents, and abilities compliment one another.

Oh.... and high heels with red bottoms. Those help too 😍
 
Farting in her general direction, then waiting...
 
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The homecomings.

Those of you who have been deployed a few times should know what I mean if you're married, and she's been taking care of the kids (and everything else) while you were gone. Especially once your luck runs out, you come home all banged up, and she ends up working 2 jobs for a couple years after you get "retired" but prior to your VA disability coming through...

Me, and my 30 year faithful dependa at a ball game.

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My ex wife used to love riding with me in my drift car, the very first time she rode with me i did the stupid guy thing, we were in a empty parking lot and i started to drift around the light poles, after a few figure 8's and a tight circle or two i stopped to see if she was freaking out or having fun... she looked me dead in the eyes and said "i just came a little". It was right then i knew i was in love and was gonna get married... that is my happiest memory from the whole thing.
 
Two and done. There will never be a third. Way too many fucked up crazy bitches trying to change their men. And then there's this:

I think that much of the problem is that women in the USA are often very spoiled. They manipulate men as though it is normal and okay to do. To get what they want, they have many tricks. European women do not appear to be as spoiled, and are much less manipulative in my experience. My ex is super attractive, fun, exciting, outdoorsy, everything most guys want. However she is very spoiled and manipulative, and is an ex for a good reason.
 
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A few weeks ago the woman had a major surgery. She was in recovery for a couple hours and then moved to a room. Shortly after being moved to a private room the surgeon came in to talk about the details. I said that I only had two questions. 1. How long before she can get in the kitchen and cook? 2. How long before she can get in the garden to get the weeding done?
 
A few weeks ago the woman had a major surgery. She was in recovery for a couple hours and then moved to a room. Shortly after being moved to a private room the surgeon came in to talk about the details. I said that I only had two questions. 1. How long before she can get in the kitchen and cook? 2. How long before she can get in the garden to get the weeding done?
You could hire a maid for less than that surgery cost i bet....
 
I think that much of the problem is that women in the USA are often very spoiled. They manipulate men as though it is normal and okay to do. To get what they want, they have many tricks. European women do not appear to be as spoiled, and are much less manipulative in my experience. My ex is super attractive, fun, exciting, outdoorsy, everything most guys want. However she is very spoiled and manipulative, and is an ex for a good reason.

The issue mostly is that there is very few upsides for men in getting married and the potential to totally ruin your life and turn you into a slave for decades.

The more men that wake up and understand how fundamentally unjust the entire idea of family law is, the closer we get to when the men can demand and get proper equality under the law.

Go down the red pill rabbit hole and you'll understand why more and more men are waking up and refusing to be disposable slaves and beasts of burden to a horrible corrupt system. Wrap it, or snip it and have Tinder and call it good until one day there is actual justice for men and fathers.
 
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Only if you have cats in the house...ask me how I know that LMAO
So far I have only woken up two mornings to find a pile of shredded paper and a naked tube on the TP holder and a guilty kitty nearby.
 
Two and done. There will never be a third. Way too many fucked up crazy bitches trying to change their men. And then there's this:

"Along the lines of never learning how to treat a man, women are never taught how to value a man’s emotions unless they pertain positively to her. He must prove every day how much he values her for just existing. She expects this but is taught by our society to not reciprocate unless he earns it."

Sadly, this is true. And as a woman, women who do this give other women a bad rap. They need to get their shit together.
 
A few weeks ago the woman had a major surgery. She was in recovery for a couple hours and then moved to a room. Shortly after being moved to a private room the surgeon came in to talk about the details. I said that I only had two questions. 1. How long before she can get in the kitchen and cook? 2. How long before she can get in the garden to get the weeding done?
You know, part if me wants to be offended, but honestly, the other part of me would want the answer to these questions. I like my own cooking and I enjoy cookingfor my family. I also have a garden. These are legit concerns I would have!
 
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Some people have problems with drugs, some with alcohol, some with gambling, mine has been red-headed nurses.


I had to marry my third ex-wife again to get half my stuff back….
 
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I was just making sure she didn't turn into a dairy farmer and milk her light duty status.

You know, part if me wants to be offended, but honestly, the other part of me would want the answer to these questions. I like my own cooking and I enjoy cookingfor my family. I also have a garden. These are legit concerns I would have!

It truly was a backhanded way of asking about the extent of recovery for her.
She kinda laughed at the joke and said that he probably thinks I was serious.
Ohh BTW. I can cook. The Nom Nom thread needs a TTT posting.