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Directions to some place, My ASS is RED

Foul Mike

Gunny Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Apr 18, 2001
3,082
4,909
Eastern Colorado
Since when do people give directions as to how to get some place in minutes? It is a common thing now, not miles or kilometers, but minutes. of which I presume to be drive time. But how fast are you going? what type of vehicle and what is your ground speed. That all gets into there.
If you ask for directions from somebody, you will likely be told,"It is 20 minutes south then turn right for 10 minutes and you are there."
Distance is not measured by minutes, it is measured by miles or kilometers.
If I am driving a 80 bbl. load of water in a truck to a location, I will not be likely to be attaining ground speed such as a car, so those directions are out of the window to me. What do you do? drive 20 minutes then turn right into the ditch as you are slow? but you drove 20 minutes?
Give me miles or klicks or something I can understand instead of minutes. It is a new thing and how many of you are guilty?
I am to the point now that when I now ask for directions and am told them in minutes and I ask for distance and if they can't come up with that I figure the directions are no good and I will try elsewhere.
Who knows what the highway traffic speeds are? and if you can keep up that speed? and was there a jam up on the road?
Is it a lost Art to give directions in distance, such as miles or klicks?
Keep trying, but understand that I may not drive as fast as you and would really like to know how many miles it is fro Point A to Point B.
Rant over. FM
 
On the side of the Provincial Highways, about 40 years ago, were these fiberglass 'orbs' with garbage cans in them. At a small 'pull-out'. Prairie version of a "rest-stop" and place to drop your trash. Locally, they were known as "Orbit's".

Upstream on the highway, there would be a sign saying "ORBIT, 40 Seconds". This way, drivers would have a chance to realize that 'at-speed' they have time to think, react, plan, slow down, and assemble the troops for disembarking.

I explain all this, because in the late 80's, I knew a few guys who rode their 12 speed bicycles from Edmonton (Alberta) here to Winnipeg (Manitoba) They didn't have "Orbit's" in Alberta OR Saskatchewan, only Manitoba. Nor were they ever able to attain highway speeds (or anything close to that) on their bicycles.

They both told me, that they kept on seeing these signs, and would be looking around for the next half-an-hour into the sky and whatnot, looking for something to fly by. They finally clued in, when someone told them about the garbage cans. Then they laughed, because they realized how stupid they must have looked, riding their bikes,,,, and scanning the sky's looking for something to happen.

So yeah,,,, ACCURACY and Fact are important in 'directions'. It is for that reason why I just ask for the actual address of the location, and I'll find it myself. "Turn right at the tree, and go 3 miles north, then hang a right at the cornfield, and it's only 1 kilometer into the bush." doesn't work for me.
 
For as long as I can remember, directions around here have been given in minutes. Maybe it doesn't translate for those that really need them, but we don't really care if transplants get (and stay) lost anyway. But, if you are from around here, we all understand each other. And, if I call you and I ask where you are, and you say "I'm 20 minutes away," I have a rough estimate of where you are in the world (because I likely know where you started) as well as your estimated arrival time. I don't care where you are- I want to know when you are arriving...

I think the advent and ready adoption of consumer GPS (which gives ETA information) has increased the adoption of this minuted based system.

"Where are you?"

"I'm 20 minutes out."

"Cool."
 
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Phone rings.
Wife: I'm lost. I'm at ABC Rd. Which way do I need to turn?
Me: What Rd on you on?
Wife: I don't know.
(Finally figures it out)
I'm on XYZ Rd.
Me: You need to go East.
Wife: Don't tell me East. Left or right?
Me: Which direction are you headed now?
Wife: I'm not headed anywhere. I'm stopped.
Me: WTF...

Technology finally fixed that problem.
 
For as long as I can remember, directions around here have been given in minutes. Maybe it doesn't translate for those that really need them, but we don't really care if transplants get (and stay) lost anyway. But, if you are from around here, we all understand each other. And, if I call you and I ask where you are, and you say "I'm 20 minutes away," I have a rough estimate of where you are in the world (because I likely know where you started) as well as your estimated arrival time. I don't care where you are- I want to know when you are arriving...

I think the advent and ready adoption of consumer GPS (which gives ETA information) has increased the adoption of this minuted based system.

"Where are you?"

"I'm 20 minutes out."

"Cool."

I'd agree. I care more about how long it takes me or you to get somewhere rather than how far it is. Trying to get 10 miles across town can take 30 minutes at the right (wrong) time of day, but driving 30 minutes out in the country will get me three times as far. I use the minutes more for scheduling/planning purposes.

That said, if some stranger asked me for directions to a specific place, I'd give them road names, cardinal directions, and approximate distances.
 
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Maybe its just me. But when I have ever I give a Woman directions, I find its best to go by visible landmarks. ( go right down this road, and take a left at the large Red building , continue utlill you see Chicken sign..ect) I tried with normal N,S,E,W but they just dont get it.
 
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Maybe its just me. But when I have ever I give a Woman directions, I find its best to go by visible landmarks. ( go right down this road, and take a left at the large Red building , continue utlill you see Chicken sign..ect) I tried with normal N,S,E,W but they just dont get it.
The more arbitrary and subjective the direction, the more easily a woman understands it.
 
Phone rings.
Wife: I'm lost. I'm at ABC Rd. Which way do I need to turn?
Me: What Rd on you on?
Wife: I don't know.
(Finally figures it out)
I'm on XYZ Rd.
Me: You need to go East.
Wife: Don't tell me East. Left or right?
Me: Which direction are you headed now?
Wife: I'm not headed anywhere. I'm stopped.
Me: WTF...

Technology finally fixed that problem.

Can't stop laughing...I remember the days before everyone had GPS
 
Since when do people give directions as to how to get some place in minutes? ......
Rant over. FM

Did you post this looking for advice on what products are best for removal of sand from one's vagina?

You could just be thankful for the information they gave you, seeing as you are the beggar, not the chooser.
 
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Well, I will just chill.
I am the Kang of Case of the ASS that you can't tell me how many miles, blocks etc. from where we are now. and where we are going, done got the N Pole. and and yet tell me they are 10 minutes out. How many miles out? only to be given a blank stare.
The Cities are so overpopulated now that it is hard to find a place just to walk alone. and have places where you can see for a long way. start estimating distance.
Sad indeed, FM
 
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Maybe its just me. But when I have ever I give a Woman directions, I find its best to go by visible landmarks. ( go right down this road, and take a left at the large Red building , continue utlill you see Chicken sign..ect) I tried with normal N,S,E,W but they just dont get it.
This is studied and documented fact, goes back to hunter/gatherer instincts. Here's one study on it: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14607168

As for the OP's question, I've found that direction types given tends to differ more east vs. west vs. central. Easterners (where I lived the better part of adulthood) give time and road names more, westerners (where I was brought up and now live again) give geographical landmarks (canyons, mtns, etc and cardinal directions, great plains give specific distances and cardinal directions.

City folks have no clue and tell you to google it and make sure you do a Facebook checkin and Yelp review when you get there, don't forget to hashtag and mention them on your IG post as well so they can like and comment on it.

Back before civilian GPS I asked a buddy how to get to his apartment in a town I had never been to and had no map of, he was a good ol' boy from the Virginian mountains, gave me the whole "go down a ways to 'so and so', then go for a bit til you see the Exxon, etc" lines, keep in mind this was another sniper from my platoon so it's not like he didn't know better, was just how he was brought up.

I'm just glad he didn't tell me "Over yonder", because then I would have been fucked.
 
I'm just glad he didn't tell me "Over yonder", because then I would have been fucked.

Those are my favorite.

'Head on down this heeyah road 'bout 5 miles as the crow flies. You'll know when you get there. Head over yonder a ways, it's in the brush back thar. If you see lights, you done gon' too far, gonna have to come back thisaway.'

Never did find that damn hog trap.
 
I am aware of direction (N,S,E,W) always. The only time I really need a compass is at sea mid day. The rest of the time I'm within a point or two on direction. I don't even understand how anyone navigates without knowing direction.

Once your map is oriented to the earth, the cardinal directions don't matter- and you can orient a map using land features. Knowing where you are, where you are going, and the decisions needed to get from A to B are the important criteria. Knowing that you are headed east (for example) is trivia...

When I was in high school I worked at a convenience store- off the beaten path- that was used by wayward travelers when the highway was congested. I gave a LOT of directions. I would draw a "map" on a small paper bag. One straight line down the center, then a number of intersecting lines. "You are at this intersection. Go down to this road and turn left." More intersecting lines. "Go down to this road and turn right" etc, etc.

The roads are not straight but the lines were. How did they ever get where they were going? It was not important that the travelers were headed "North." The important part was they were headed to their destination...
 
hlee,

Couple of things:
Depending on lack of features and density of the area, orienting a map based on that can be a real bitch.
If I know general directions of where things are located, I can usually get back on track without backtracking.
 
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I totally disagree. You can get turned around with only landmarks and terrestrial aids. Direction is the only real constant. I’ve gone hundreds of miles over land with no map and only a compass, and I’ve crossed the Atlantic twice with a watch and a sextant (no electronic aids). When Mizzenhead came in sight I was .5nm off, and the light was within a couple of degrees of where I predicted. That as good as GPS.
 
hlee,

Couple of things:
Depending on lack of features and density of the area, orienting a map based on that can be a real bitch.
If I know general directions of where things are located, I can usually get back on track without backtracking.
I totally disagree. You can get turned around with only landmarks and terrestrial aids. Direction is the only real constant. I’ve gone hundreds of miles over land with no map and only a compass, and I’ve crossed the Atlantic twice with a watch and a sextant (no electronic aids). When Mizzenhead came in sight I was .5nm off, and the light was within a couple of degrees of where I predicted. That as good as GPS.
The above examples compared to street navigation, are two problems as different as the sides of one coin.

A surface map without feature is as useless on the trackless ocean or unbroken plain as a bearing and distance (in the absence of a map) are in attempting to navigate a city. Good luck getting from A to B in Atlanta with only a bearing and an as-the-crow-flies distance.

I don't need to know the bathroom is east of the kitchen in order to find it, nor do I need to know that LA is west of Houston to find it. Turn left when I get to I10, from where I sit now, and I'll eventually get there... likewise, if I turn right when I get to I-80, I will eventually find NYC.

I will concede that cardinal directions are critical where terrestrial features are unavailable. However, the OP is discussing street navigation. 100s of millions of drivers prove, every day, that you don't need to know the direction you are headed to get where you are going.
 
I've put that to use in Atlanta more than any other place. I knew enough about general where a place was that I could get off course or cockblocked by traffic and still make it back on course because I know something was in a general SE, approx 5 mi. BTW, I hate Atlanta. Had to go to that shithole yesterday for the first time in a while. Typ carry + shotgun, but added a carbine with 8 mags. Glad I didn't have to use it; really wanted to though. :-D
 
Well, I will just chill.
I am the Kang of Case of the ASS that you can't tell me how many miles, blocks etc. from where we are now. and where we are going, done got the N Pole. and and yet tell me they are 10 minutes out. How many miles out? only to be given a blank stare.
The Cities are so overpopulated now that it is hard to find a place just to walk alone. and have places where you can see for a long way. start estimating distance.
Sad indeed, FM

I have found that the only thing more exasperating than receiving directions from a woman is attempting to try and give directions to them. They just won't shut up long enough for you to finish a sentence. Gawd help you if you try and take a breath between sentences, your turn at the mic just ended.
 
Kinda, I am a redneck old hippie with a case of the red ass.

I just don't understand how anyone with a sliver of a brain gives directions in minutes.
That is a measurement of time, not distance, and you don't have to be a split tail to do it either.
Tell me 4.5 miles N then 1.25 miles W and I will get there with ease. Landmarks are good too, like the big grain elevator on the west side of the road a quarter mile from where you need to turn.
Don't tell me 15 minutes that way then 5 minutes left. How fast should I drive? I think it may have to do with age and thinking and these younger ones don't know how far a mile is.
After all, their girlfriends thinks 4 inches is a 10 inch boner and never a thought about a tape measure.
 
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Kinda, I am a redneck old hippie with a case of the red ass.

I just don't understand how anyone with a sliver of a brain gives directions in minutes.
That is a measurement of time, not distance, and you don't have to be a split tail to do it either.
Tell me 4.5 miles N then 1.25 miles W and I will get there with ease. Landmarks are good too, like the big grain elevator on the west side of the road a quarter mile from where you need to turn.
Don't tell me 15 minutes that way then 5 minutes left. How fast should I drive? I think it may have to do with age and thinking and these younger ones don't know how far a mile is.
After all, their girlfriends thinks 4 inches is a 10 inch boner and never a thought about a tape measure.

Haha, "The road you're looking for is about 2 cigarettes that way"
 
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I fall back on an old quote fromPop. in Firesign Theaters Nick Danger Third Eye...."You cant get there from here."
 
I always like the "head this away down this road till you come to the old smith place and turn right", of course, the Smith's died off 40 years ago and the property has changed hands 3x since then.
 
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When I lived in Georgia, travel was in distance because at that time traffic was NOT an issue, and no one cared about where you parked the car.
In NY everything is in time because 4 miles could take an hour, and when you arrive they ask....have any trouble parking?
 
Cardinal direction & exact miles. Or, at least a solid estimate is sufficient to get most places. On the Interstates I give directions via mile markers, exit numbers or US Hwys or state & FM roads.

I work in a non-typical environment where a combination of these things are used including known landmarks, GPS & azimuths. I don’t really use a compass & protractor anymore but I still use a map on occasion. I have had to Land Nav a few times at schools over the years & I’m still pretty good at it. Incidentally, the last school I did land nav, the owner told me I did well enough that I could’ve been an instructor. Compliment accepted.

I don’t appreciate being told “I’s up caddy-whooomp, round da’ bend, o’er da he’ll & up yonder whhhy.” ***I’m not pickin’ at anyone’s accent either. I’ve heard this shit a lot even in my home 20, but it still doesn’t tell me shit. Especially in an unfamiliar area. Giving directions in minutes is just plain fucking stupid.

If you don’t know exactly where you are, at any given point in time, you are lost. I hate being lost.
 
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I think most of you guys have got it.
All too often I will ask directions when going along any highway.,in my Nice truck and trailer,travellng or VACA, or be riding a Bike of English Vintage. and the dogs need to piss and well, the Squaw is beating me and asking for directions?? and be told,"It's about 20 minutes that way." No idea about anything. No help.
Try again and be told how many miles, and where to turn. by an Old Gent and The Squaw was happy and so were the dogs. and I knew exactly where we were all along the way and was told a few things to look for on the way. Regards,, FM All that was done NS on a compass and a "BROWN PAPPER BUG Andy Fred???. drawn Map. {a History Lesson} as to the origin of that.
Time is one measurement, but not the measurement of distance.
Thanks to all who wrote . FM
 
Ive driven a lot in Mexico. Dont ever ask a Mexican for directions. If they dont know theyll get 8 friends who dont know, waste a hour of your time, and still not know but tell you something just to help. Then theres the road signs. I was driving over the Mt. from Tolucca to Cuernavaca, and ....never mind.