Maggie’s Don't eat the breakfast tacos

[Thebelly]

On Saturday I went to the range and there were breakfast tacos. They were provided by one of the guys in my regular shooting group, and we've eaten these before with no ill consequence.....

Then there was this saturday. :-(

If it were just me that had a bad reaction, then OK so be it. no less than 4 of the group had terrible things happen. Here's how we described it.


Me: "I will never eat a breakfast taco again. I'm blowing up the toilet in the nail salon across from Mo's. My poop is overpowering the smell of this nail salon."

Guy #2: "Ask the crew about the fart I dropped just prior to leaving. It cleared out an outdoors gun range. Yeah, that bad."

Guy who didn't have reaction: (insert picture of erupting volcano)

Me: "Yeah, like that but pointed down. Luckily I'm controlling it somewhat so there is no splashing, and thus no noise."

Guy who didn't have a reaction: "LMAO"

Me: "Attention: I have made it home without re-sh****ng on myself. That is all.

Guy #3: "Your damn tacos hit me when I got to Round Rock, luckily I was close to my office."

Guy #4: "I haven't S**t yet......oh no...."

Me: "everyone is a ticking time bomb!"

Guy #4: "WTF man! Where the **ck did you get those tacos?"

Guy who didn't eat any: "Sounds like y'all just rented them...."

Me: "I just 'returned' some more."

Guy #4: "I never thought anything could smell this bad! It's like a paper mill fell into a swamp full of old cabbage!"

Guy #3: "Mine looks like a bucket full of PayDays with some pudding on the side... that S**t is nuttier than a portapotty at a peanut convention!"

me: "Mine was something that resembled a bloated tape worm with aids. Add some moldy nutella wrapped in used coffee bean shavings, and I'm just thankful that it wasn't bloody."



Needless to say, Yesterday was a recovery day.

 

[diverdon]

That is a minute of my life I'll never get back, as well as some fairly disturbing images.

 

[stinkyDrunk]

You dropped by the nail salon just to shit the place up?

 

[Guest]

You dropped by the nail salon just to shit the place up?

No. He had an appointment.

 

[Thebelly]

We went to lunch after shooting. The bathroom was occupied when I NEEDED to go.

The nearest one was across the parking lot from where we had lunch.

 

[stinkyDrunk]

Well if I owned that nail salon and some guy showed up to give my bathroom the Wagner Power Painter treatment, I'd have you arrested.

 

[Thebelly]

Well if I owned that nail salon and some guy showed up to give my bathroom the Wagner Power Painter treatment, I'd have you arrested.

Full dsclosure, I asked/told the lady running the place in plain english, "I'm having an emergency, may I use your bathroom?"

She was very kind and let me proceed in her toilet rather than on her floor, which, frankly, was the remaining option at that point.

 

[Headquarterz]

Shit this is funny

Sent from my SM-N900V using Tapatalk

 

[Foul Mike]

Comes in there with the Poo and Chews, the chewing is done, now what do I do with it?
At some point in time we ALL have been there and done that.
Good to get a laugh out of it. FM

 

[Swampy]

Sounds like you had a Code Brown!!!!! Lucky you had an option.....In the past I've seen a few guys not make a can and let me tell you the results were not pretty.....Hope Nail Salon lady had a can of Glade in there. You should drop by again with some flowers and a gift card for her.....

 

[leprechaun]

That was hilarious. We just had the same thing happen last thur at training with only 1 port a pot.........Lots of "fertilizer"

 

[bigbear_98]

Man.... I know too many people that this happened to this weekend for it to be "food poisoning". We went to port aransas for the weekend and 5 got it At different point over the weekend. Two in college station got it. Two in Austin got it. All people I know. When I had it it was like pissing out of my butt. That's the explanation I've heard from everyone. Awful.

 

[Dirty D]

You dropped by the nail salon just to shit the place up?

What better place to disguise a rancid smell.

 

[Guest]

If you would have been so fortunate as to have a jar of Nutella and twisted sense of humor...

 

[g2gjoe]

Have you thought about seeing a priest?

 

[Maggot]

Dont mean to "Shit on your thread" but I have an interesting story in the same vein. Driving from Memphis Tn. to Austin down I 30 and I 35 in my Chevy van. Left Memphis in the am. with nothing but a gallon of water and a bag of dried fruit and nuts. Ate most of the bag of fruit and nuts. Got just east of Dallas and stopped in Rockwall at the Starbucks and had a big cup of dark roast and a chocolate pastry. Headed on my way, turned south on I35 and steaming along just fine. About 2o miles north of Waco my gut gave this ominous gurgle and I knew it was getting time for a stop. There's a nice little Mexican place I was going for but just coming into Waco I knew I wasnt going to make it. All those dried apples had swollen up from the water, then the strong coffee and the chocolate really stirred it up. So I pull off somewhere around 396 into a little industrial area, slam the truck up into park, dive for the back, kick the side doors open, hit the pavement, drop trou and all hell broke loose. All that dried fruit had built up about 200 psi of pressure so when the valve opened, it dispersed in about a 140 degree spray pattern, coating everything for about 12 feet in this green/brown stinking slime. Fortunately it was sunday and no one there to witness it cause it was ugly. Pulled trou back up and got the hell out of there. I expect the rats and cockroaches had quite a feast

 

[Thebelly]

Dont mean to "Shit on your thread" but I have an interesting story in the same vein. Driving from Memphis Tn. to Austin down I 30 and I 35 in my Chevy van. Left Memphis in the am. with nothing but a gallon of water and a bag of dried fruit and nuts. Ate most of the bag of fruit and nuts. Got just east of Dallas and stopped in Rockwall at the Starbucks and had a big cup of dark roast and a chocolate pastry. Headed on my way, turned south on I35 and steaming along just fine. About 2o miles north of Waco my gut gave this ominous gurgle and I knew it was getting time for a stop. There's a nice little Mexican place I was going for but just coming into Waco I knew I wasnt going to make it. All those dried apples had swollen up from the water, then the strong coffee and the chocolate really stirred it up. So I pull off somewhere around 396 into a little industrial area, slam the truck up into park, dive for the back, kick the side doors open, hit the pavement, drop trou and all hell broke loose. All that dried fruit had built up about 200 psi of pressure so when the valve opened, it dispersed in about a 140 degree spray pattern, coating everything for about 12 feet in this green/brown stinking slime. Fortunately it was sunday and no one there to witness it cause it was ugly. Pulled trou back up and got the hell out of there. I expect the rats and cockroaches had quite a feast

This is a good story. Did you have to hang off the side of the truck? How did you not get covered in the mire?

 

[bigbear_98]

This is a good story. Did you have to hang off the side of the truck? How did you not get covered in the mire?

And did you at least wipe?

 

[jrassy]

What a shitty thread, now I have these mental images to get rid of, after I stop laughing.

 

[Maggot]

And did you at least wipe?

Yes, a nearly new T-shit sacrificed its young life for the cause, and stayed behind on the pavement.