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Excerpts of shit that was said over the last 2 days while having a visitor

Yeah, why wouldn't she?

I mean, not only do I have to not deal with any of her shit for the entire day while I'm at home, but she then returns with a metric ton of money.

iu
So… wait… you tellin’ me I’M the one doing it wrong?!
 
Your wife works? Damn dude… and to think I had you on a pedestal.
she only works so that she can come home and mock the peasants at supper.
it is sort of like watching soap operas or jerry springer, except she has a salary.
personally, i would say that is a plus if there aren't kids to raise.
 
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Yeah, why wouldn't she?

I mean, not only do I have to not deal with any of her shit for the entire day while I'm at home, but she then returns with a metric ton of money.

iu
That's how I do it too. Get out there and make me money.
 
I have to use this tactic often. I usually asked the bums on the jobsite, "is that the fucking president?"
Funny thing is one of the guys was waiting on word that his wife was maybe going ti go into labor. The exchange when something like this:

[Instructor sees pupil on phone, pauses, and waits for pupil to look up] "Hows your phone doing?"

Pupil: Good

Instructor: Are you the one who's wife is about to have a kid?"

Pupil:".....No"

Instructor: "Oh, OK, cool, I thought something life-altering was going on for you to be on the phone in the middle of this instruction. No problem [raises eyebrow in disdain, and looks at other 5 people with condescending hatred]
 
Yeah, why wouldn't she?

I mean, not only do I have to not deal with any of her shit for the entire day while I'm at home, but she then returns with a metric ton of money.

iu

How do you turn a metric ton of money into 3 lbs?
Convert the 1 dollar bills into 100's.
 
I spilled my beer while sitting by my wood stove in my shop reading this shit. You owe me, all you fuckers.