Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

<span style="font-weight: bold">The New Guys</span>

The Lurker - He's been looking for a while, but only recently joined. He is sure to note this in his first post in the hopes that it earns him so credibility. It doesn't.

The Voyeur - This schmuck needs a bib because of all of his "Drool" posts. He calls it "gun porn". Likes to comment on how much he'd like to buy a firearm if he could only afford it. At least he's good for a free bump on your sale post.

The Knowledge Seeker - "Teach me about ___X___ (sniper rifles, machine guns, silencers, etc.)" He wants you to teach him in 1 post everything about an entire discipline. Can easily recognized by his "search" deficiencies, improper terminology, and pretentiousness.

The Hobbyist - Has "Shooter", "Sniper", "Enemy at the Gates", and "Quigley Down Under" on Blue Ray. Not Mil, LE, or a hunter. He wants to know how to push his stock 700 to 1000+ yards. Some are able to be taught and put on the right track. Others are not so lucky.

The Extreme Hunter - Wants to know what to use to hunt deer at 2000 yards. "Anybody hunting coyotes with a M2 Browing?" He intends to either wing his prey or blow it up.

The Mall Assassin - Has a background in Airsoft and Suburban retail combat tactics. Wants to know if he needs Mil-dot reticle for his 10/22. He is an anti-9mm advocate due to the lack of stopping power. He can't understand why the local PD still uses "obsolete" DI AR15's.

The Zombie Slayer - This guy's got a plan. He stashes pistols in his Cheerios box and has a different "Bug out" setup depending on the scenario. Considers "Red Dawn" and "Dawn of the Dead" as survival documentaries.

The Kevin Bacon - Although he openly admits he is not Mil or LE, he always seems to be just a couple degrees of separation from a "credible source." "My brother's sister's cousin mows the lawn of a Navy SEAL and he says they are using Counter Sniper scopes. And my cousin's sister's brother peed next to one of the SEAL snipers that shot the pirates. He says they used H&R handy rifles with Baraska scopes with water bottle suppressors.

<span style="font-weight: bold">The Sellers and Buyers</span>

The Trader - "Hey, saw your post: WTS Mint condition Unertl 10X M40A1 scope. Do you accept trades? I have a broken Counter Sniper scope (missing objective lens), a dirty "Spiderman 2" t-shirt (XXXXXL), 2 chickens, and a kazoo. Let me know if you're interested."

The Speed Poster - This guy can't wait to get to 51 posts. He needs money NOW!!!! 50 "nice gun" posts and then comes the "WTS Bushmaster POS" post.

The Comparative Shopper - Considers "apples to oranges" an easy comparison. He likes pitting things against another. "S&B vs USO, Leupold vs Night Force, M14 vs FAL, FAL vs G3, G3 vs AR10, AR10 vs Hensoldt."

The Innovator - He's a tinkerer. He's got a good idea and some basic fabrication skills. He's got an idea for a mag adapter/rail adapter/bipod attachment. He's gauging interest and doing pre-orders. If you're lucky you'll get a refund after the project crashes and burns after the first or second prototype.

The Entrepreneur - He's a wheeler and dealer. He's always selling something. If the item in question is exactly to his specs, off to the boards it goes. He's also on a first-name basis with the BATFE guys.

The Blues Salesman - He needs help. He's getting divorced, buying a house, having a kid, repairing his car. This is all in the hopes you'll pay slightly more than what it's worth.

The Low-Baller - "A NIB AI AWSM 2.0 w/ S&B 5-25x56 P4F Mil/Mil and 1000 rounds of .338LM Lapua ammo? Will you take $900 for the package? Ok, how about $901.37?"


<span style="font-weight: bold">Trolls and the like</span>

The Troll - Need I say more?

The Troll Handler - A self-proclaimed Anti-Troll. Hates trolls. Loses control when he finds them. But little does he know that more often than not, his fury only makes things worse.

The Troll Slayer - This guy is not to be trifled with. He waits patiently and gathers more and more slack provided by a troll in order to hang the beast with his own words.

<span style="font-weight: bold">The Experts</span>

The Grand Master - Typically the originator of the forum. All-powerful, but typically lays low and stays busy updating his forum.

The Disciple - His title is typically a different color than yours cause he's active enough to be an Admin. Typically very helpful and typically works to ensure the integrity of the forum. Typically on a first name basis with the Grand Master.

The Grizzled Guru - He is an excellent source of info if you don't piss him off....which is darn near impossible. Typically isn't happy with "the direction the board is heading" and likes to talk about how the forum used to be.

The Angry Bastard - Considers The Grizzled Guru to be an optimist. "This board died a long time ago." While this guy has been there, done that, and gone back on vacation....twice; he has no time for your bullshit. Not only will he call you out, he will humiliate you, and prove that you are not worthy of life let alone his beloved departed forum.

<span style="font-weight: bold"> Special Ed </span>

The Spelling Bee - Despyte a era of modurn tecknology, this cat just can't grasp the concept of spell check. While a typo is more than common, this guy's posts look like a blind man was hitting the keyboard with a hammer.

The Bullhorn - THINKS THAT HE WILL BE TAKEN MORE SERIOUSLY IF HE USES ALL CAPS AND NO PUNCTUATION HE DOES NOT REALIZE THAT THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF CONDUCTING A REAL CONVERSATION IN THE FOLLOWING MANNER: http://www.reformedevangelist.com/images/bullhorn_girl.gif

The Emoticon - If a picture is worth 1000 words, how many words are represented by a smiley face dressed as a ninja, brandishing a chain saw, and wearing a cowboy hat? How does one figure out the code for this shit?

The Secret Squirrel - Shhh, you'll have to present your .mil email if you want more info on this guy. He knows a guy who can get Unobtanium barrels with Adamantium lining. And don't you dare ask what he has done. If you view his profile, his SEAL Team 8 3/4 and Omega Force buddies will burst through your door and





Note: While most inspiration is from Sniper's Hide. HKPro, 1911, AR15, and THR are in there too.



 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BOLTRIPPER</div><div class="ubbcode-body">you forgot the super bagman...... </div></div>

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Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: pointblank4445</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BOLTRIPPER</div><div class="ubbcode-body">you forgot the super bagman...... </div></div>

confused.gif
</div></div>

Bagman= The Troll Slayer on steriods and usually suffering from subdued internet roid rage due to witnessing an increase in ignorant posts. = Boltripper.
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

the clutterer - usually a guy with 3 posts that asks a question about a rifle, optic, etc., that was just posted about 7 threads down, and is too lazy to scroll to see if it was already talked about. usually is oblivious to the search function.
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

The commentator.....has just enough posts not to be a newbie...just sits back and watches the others and comments
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Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

Added 4 new ones to the new "Special Ed" category. Pretty pround of the "Secret Squirrel" one..... wonder if anyone will get the joke at the end.
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

The not quite as newb-newb protector.

This is the guy with 200 posts that has been registered for 2 month. He is quick to come to the defence of the guy that just joined and asked how to break in his new barrel. Posts often look like...

"what the hell Boltripper? Give the guy a brek, you were new here once too. the guy just asked a simple ?. If you don't want to help, than jus dont read the ?. oh, and don't fuck with me cause I am a super secrit squrrel!"
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

pointblank,

That's a pretty good list.

The one character you left out is:

The Factor: The Factor is a guy who always shouts FACT. Like the FACT his 30-06 in FACT shoots a 180 grain bullet @ 3250 FPS, without pressure signs, thus invalidating the laws of physics. Or the FACT that his improved cartridge, with 5% more powder room, will increase velocity by 10%, and in FACT keep pressures the same. Or how his H&R topper, always shoots 1/4" groups at 100 YDS, is of course a FACT. When you challange a "Factor", he will always want to know in FACT of how many H&R Toppers you have owned.

The Factor inhabits many forums.......



 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

How about the "Brown spoon"? The guy that creates posts knowing that he is stirring the crap kettle before he even hits the post button. The one that edits others post to get a rise out of them and keeps a diary of all the misspoken phrases or candid photos and brings them up at the worst moments, usually in the motivational picture thread. He is usually so notorious that new members with 10 posts don't even trust him, even if he may be telling the truth. Usually found sitting in the penalty box on a time out, LOL.
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

Here's one for "New Guys"...

The Sycophant - New member who feel it necessary to defend or excessively flatter the obviously popular or infamous members, admins, and/or site owner in a transparent attempt to position himself as having been accepted into some sort of perceived inner circle.
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

This type I don't have a name for, but they pretty much only exist at GlockTalk, GunsNet, and BARFCOM. These are the type who think playing CoD for 15 hours a day makes them combat and weapons experts.

This next type I like to call "knobbheads". These are people who have very little firearms experience and they go to Knobb Creek and rent a machine gun and spend a months paycheck on ammo just to shoot the ground at full auto speed and then go home and plop their fatasses in front of their computers and then act like a machine gun expert.
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Ratbert</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Here's one for "New Guys"...

The Sycophant - New member who feel it necessary to defend or excessively flatter the obviously popular or infamous members, admins, and/or site owner in a transparent attempt to position himself as having been accepted into some sort of perceived inner circle. </div></div>

...also known as the "kiss-ass"
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Maser</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Which one am I classed as?
smile.gif
</div></div>

Are you a masochist?
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

How bout the "Fan boy"

He is the one who will defend to the death, even in the face of overwhelming contrary evidence, his product, person, shooting school, style, color, caliber, Counter Sniper Scope, camo-pattern, truck make, beer brand, Military branch, shot-group count, spin drift theory...
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Ratbert</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Here's one for "New Guys"...

The Sycophant - New member who feel it necessary to defend or excessively flatter the obviously popular or infamous members, admins, and/or site owner in a transparent attempt to position himself as having been accepted into some sort of perceived inner circle. </div></div>

The "lowlight's leg humpers" (even though sycophant sounds so much more clinical)??
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

The Farter - the farter is the person that writes a witty comment that only he or she understands and finds humorous and then sounds off with a raucous fart that may wake the neighborhood, as a final emphasis. The smell overcomes this poster, and he or she must leave the room. Upon returning, he forgets about previous witty comment and then just leaves it, with people wondering what the hell it was all about.

The SNIPERguy - the SNIPERguy is not certain whether he is sniper enough and has to use the Snipername as his name to be sure you know he has something to do with something.

The Nobody - borrowed from "Later" in the "LE's being attacked" thread. "Nobody wants to offend anyone, which is ridiculous."

The Moran - this poster likes to use facts and figures to support his claims but does not always relate in context. May need night vision and backup scopes and help to kill a coyote.

The J - This poster shares many true experiences of fighting through gunshot wounds, and the efforts it took him to be a chosen man in a scout sniper platoon despite dropping from Marine boot camp in 2d phase. The Stolen Valor law does not even cause him to break a sweat, so motivated is he to be worshipped by young air-softers.

The Corrector - Actually what I meant to say was The Correcting person, as this is one that always answers by correcting you, usually starting with the word "Actually": "Actually the red dot is more amber than red."

The Seller - The Seller is the poster that within a month of joining has his own little store.

The Googler - saw an A&E special about sniping and googled it. Now he's a member.

The Wikigoogler - the Wikigoogler has so much online information available to him that he can argue anything with anyone despite not even having a clue about the context. Did you know... "that when R. Shamasastry discovered the Arthashastra, it altered the perception of ancient India and the view that Indians learned administration from the Greeks?" ABSOLUTELY!
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Oliver W Douglas</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
The J - This poster shares many true experiences of fighting through gunshot wounds, and the efforts it took him to be a chosen man in a scout sniper platoon despite dropping from Marine boot camp in 2d phase. The Stolen Valor law does not even cause him to break a sweat, so motivated is he to be worshipped by young air-softers.


</div></div>

would he be a handsome man?
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Oliver W Douglas</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The Farter - the farter is the person that writes a witty comment that only he or she understands and finds humorous and then sounds off with a raucous fart that may wake the neighborhood, as a final emphasis. The smell overcomes this poster, and he or she must leave the room. Upon returning, he forgets about previous witty comment and then just leaves it, with people wondering what the hell it was all about.
</div></div>

This one actually explains a lot, Oliver
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Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

wrong J, <span style="text-decoration: line-through">Jay</span> Josh.....I think he hearkens to the douchebag that outted himself while asking for help to out a guy he thought was a douchbag.
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sobrbiker883</div><div class="ubbcode-body">wrong J, Jay.....I think he hearkens to the douchebag that outted himself while asking for help to out a guy he thought was a douchbag. </div></div>

dude...lmao... ha ha ha ha ha... I know, he was Handsome-J

(it is ok to laugh at yourself)

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Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

I forgot he was handsomeJ, just remembered he was a douchebag!

I'm not laughing at myself, I'm laughing with myself......

I'm getting some sleep now, but before I do, how come none of theses novella posts of poster types has the "abrasive yet amusing beligerant master of colloquialisms"?

And then there are the pukes that change their screen names after making themselves out to be complete idiots and not expecting anyone to realize its just a new bottle, but still just vinegar and water with a nozzle?
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sobrbiker883</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I forgot he was handsomeJ, just remembered he was a douchebag!

I'm not laughing at myself, I'm laughing with myself......</div></div>

lol
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Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Maser</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Which one am I classed as?
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</div></div>

The ass hat. I would say that fits you well.
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

Our Country is lost.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Maser</div><div class="ubbcode-body">That's up to the members who want to change their custom rank. I myself will always be Binky Boy.
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</div></div>
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

It's a term that started off at ShotgunWorld back in '05 and has been alive ever since. Simply put, it started from a funny pic that surfaced there and being the good sport that I am, I used that pic as an avatar. Then another member called me Binky Boy and as luck would have it, my girlfriend was with me and she thought it was a cute name, so that's the story. Real name is Jason. Real nickname is Maser. Online shooting community name is Binky Boy. That about clear up the confusion?
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

There were pictures that went along with that. Disturbing pictures I would not show children. Sarah Palin would hunt you down like a moose and leave you to rot kinda pictures

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Maser</div><div class="ubbcode-body">It's a term that started off at ShotgunWorld back in '05 and has been alive ever since. Simply put, it started from a funny pic that surfaced there and being the good sport that I am, I used that pic as an avatar. Then another member called me Binky Boy and as luck would have it, my girlfriend was with me and she thought it was a cute name, so that's the story. Real name is Jason. Real nickname is Maser. Online shooting community name is Binky Boy. That about clear up the confusion?</div></div>
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

No pictures of you in a diaper? No pictures of you as a grown adult with a pacifier in your mouth? I must have been seeing things I guess. Or maybe the links from NOBODY of you were photoshopped.
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

Look, you guys DO NOT want to see the old picture of Maser in the diaper. There is not enough eye soap to rid the scarred eyes of that particular image.
Ask Mike D. about it, that was the last time it was on here...in other words, waaaaayyyy back when, about nine or ten site updates or so, pre CKA
grin.gif
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

ha, not quite. Here is one for your perusal.


If you're going to completely fabricate a home defense scenario, make sure you have Maser as a backup.










Maser1.jpg
 
Re: Forum Characters: You know em, you love em

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Ratbert</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Here's one for "New Guys"...

The Sycophant - New member who feel it necessary to defend or excessively flatter the obviously popular or infamous members, admins, and/or site owner in a transparent attempt to position himself as having been accepted into some sort of perceived inner circle. </div></div>

I could think of a few names. Some of em arent new members.

I also list one other type in my sig line.