Movie Theater Funniest movie review ever!!!

kombayotch

Gunny Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Sep 20, 2007
1,852
42
Re: Funniest movie review ever!!!

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a commercial about how some cars don’t really like some other, bigger cars. Everything is shiny and fast and young except for the old people in it, who are like parents that tell you to stop playing with toys, but toys are fun and I won’t give them up.

Shia LaBeouf is Indiana Jones’ son again, but this time in the future. Megan Fox is hot in this movie.

At first, there’s a trailer for a movie called Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Big machines don’t like the black people with sticks so they step on them. It didn’t say when it was coming out though and I thought that was what I was watching. I wasn’t sure at first.

Then some other big machines attack another, bigger machine and for the first time, shiny things blow up. I think people died too, but I was watching the shiny things. There were sparks too.

Shia is going to college, but his parents that don’t like that he’s going to college. They don’t like his girlfriend either. Then he finds a piece of metal in his jacket that shocks him. He’s okay, but his house gets shocked too and the house is not okay. It’s on fire. Machines come alive because of the shock fire and shoot at Shia. He’s okay because his friend, a car, saves his life. The car does not save the house’s life though. It blows it up a little bit.

Shia’s girlfriend shows up and they talk to the car. It cries and that was kind of funny. Then the boy and the hot girl look at each other saying that they’re not going to say something. They’re spinning around a lot and then they kiss and Shia goes to college. His mom and dad go too.

The college looks like fun. There’s computers and people everywhere. Shia makes a new friend and they live together. Then it’s over.

In space, there are monsters that are machines that used to be from earth, but not originally. They go back to earth to find a piece of metal that is much bigger than Shia’s piece of metal. The main guy in space is like the Rock Biter from The Neverending Story, but shinier. He sends a one-eyed, silver panther fish to get the bigger piece of metal, and the one-eyed, silver panther fish puts electronic marbles into a tube. The marbles turn into a camera and see the metal and say, that looks good. Then the camera takes it and blows some things up.

There’s a party at college and Shia goes to it. There is a girl that sits on his lap and follows him around and likes his car friend, but the car friend doesn’t like her. The car changes the radio to annoy her then spits in her face with green. That was kind of funny.

The car takes Shia to see his friend and the friend says, you should look out. Shia says, no, and he goes back to college.

Then Shia’s in college and he reads a book really fast and starts to see letters that he doesn’t know what they are. He runs back to his college room and a girl tries to kiss him. The girl kisses him. Then Shia’s girlfriend shows up and is not happy. She’s still his girlfriend, kinda, and they run away from the other girl because she’s actually not a girl. She’s a machine that hates cars. Shia and his girlfriend get in a car then and they kill the machine girl with it. It makes sense that she hates cars after that, but she’s not alive anymore so it doesn’t make sense. The machine girl must’ve only feared what she didn’t understand. Cars make noise and are fun. I want a car to be my friend like Shia.

There’s a big car from space that comes down to get Shia. He catches him, but not forever. He puts smaller machines inside Shia’s face and Shia doesn’t like it, but he’s okay. Then the cars that don’t like bigger cars stop the space car, but not forever.

There are space cars everywhere then and they kill Shia’s car friend’s friend. Nobody likes that, especially the president. He tells a guy to tell Army guys to stop playing with the big machines. They don’t want to, but they do anyway.

Then Shia runs away with his girlfriend, his car friend and his new friend. They go to a place where the new friend can get more bars on his phone. Then the new friend tells Shia that he’s a bad guy and he doesn’t want to be around him and they go to New York together.

In New York, they talk to a guy that cuts meat. He’s the guy that licks a bowling ball in another movie. That was gross, but he’s not the same guy in this one so it’s less gross. Meat cutter tells Shia to watch out and Shia says, I will. Then they all go to a museum.

There are planes in the museum that can talk and one of them doesn’t like big cars either. He tells them to go to Egypt. Then he takes them to Egypt.

The cars from space come down and they don’t like America. They hurt Army guys. They hurt Army guys’ ships too. Army is mad at them for hurting them.

Then Shia breaks his arm. I think it happened when his car crashed in Egypt, but I don’t know. He’s okay though and his girlfriend is like a doctor and puts gauze on it.

The police don’t like Shia LaBeouf in Egypt. They chase him for absolutely no reason and I was mad at them. But it’s okay because they go to the pyramids and that’s cool. One of Shia’s car friends’ friends breaks a wall and they find old car haters that are dead. They’re hiding a secret power called The Matrix. Shia picks it up and it turns into black sand. He says, that’s good enough, and puts the sand in a sock. Then he can dodge bullets.

Shia runs because the cars are fighting all around him. The cars are shooting bullets all over, but Shia’s okay because he still has the sock. Then he’s not okay because the bullets are bigger than bullets. Like missiles. They blow up and Shia is like Kerri Strugg then. He flips a lot and lands bad. He’s dead, kinda, and he dreams that he’s not dead and when he wakes up, he’s not dead. Then his girlfriend says what she said she wasn’t going to say earlier and Shia says it too. They kiss and I was glad.

While Shia was sleeping, the black sand turned back into The Matrix and everyone was happy. He puts The Matrix in his car friend’s friend’s chest and he turns alive again. Then the friend kills the Rock Biter and blows up the pyramids. That was cool.

Later, Shia is on an Army ship and it looks like Top Gun with a big machine in the background. Then it was directed by Michael Bay.
 

Niles Coyote

Gunny Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
  • Aug 13, 2007
    4,442
    1,147
    South West, MI
    Re: Funniest movie review ever!!!

    laugh.gif
    that was too funny, but accurate.