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Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

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Yeah, us older folks are supposed to put away those young boy ways.
I learned my lesson a couple years ago while water skiing. My brother was driving the boat and kept inching up the speed, like I didn't know. I caught the tip of the ski crossing the wake at around 45 mph boat speed. I guess I cartwheeled like a hundred yards. It was a long recovery!
Bro it still hurts so dang bad.
 
Yeah, us older folks are supposed to put away those young boy ways.
I learned my lesson a couple years ago while water skiing. My brother was driving the boat and kept inching up the speed, like I didn't know. I caught the tip of the ski crossing the wake at around 45 mph boat speed. I guess I cartwheeled like a hundred yards. It was a long recovery!
I have a CT scheduled for Thur for whatever is causing my other side to hurt the last 3 or so years. I hope it is simple like a stone and not kidney AIDS or something. Gastro doc says he doesn’t think it is pancreatitis but something kidney related. The joys of getting old 😑
 
If you drink city water stop now. Bottled or filtered water is the only way to go.
Kidney stones in my area are a big problem along with other kidney problems. The city water is terrible and most likely the source.
I have a CT scheduled for Thur for whatever is causing my other side to hurt the last 3 or so years. I hope it is simple like a stone and not kidney AIDS or something. Gastro doc says he doesn’t think it is pancreatitis but something kidney related. The joys of getting old 😑
 
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LMAO!! Yeah, I've shown friends that wished I hadn't shown them. And I'm always like, "You do realize they've always been there, and never bothered you right?"

Unlike wasps, yellow jackets, hornets (I'm aware they're all in the wasp family), chiggers, and all the rest of that shit that exists for pure torture of us meat bags. :)

Had this little guy come crawling out of my defroster vent one day. Jumping spiders are always cool little spider bros.

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A prostitute approached me in my car when I was stopped at a red light. She tapped on my window and I rolled it down.

She told me that she would do ANYTHING for $50.

I told her to get in the car and I brought her home.

After we walked in the door, I told her to clean the house, do the dishes and laundry.
 
A prostitute approached me in my car when I was stopped at a red light. She tapped on my window and I rolled it down.

She told me that she would do ANYTHING for $50.

I told her to get in the car and I brought her home.

After we walked in the door, I told her to clean the house, do the dishes and laundry.
Did she make you a sandwich too?
 
If I take my hands off the wheel, I get a message telling me to put my hands back on the wheel followed by a message telling me to take a break. There go my Minnesota vacation plans.
What the heck vehicle is that? I had to pull over the first time I drove my daughters Taco to figure out how to turn off the automatic low beam.
 
I have a CT scheduled for Thur for whatever is causing my other side to hurt the last 3 or so years. I hope it is simple like a stone and not kidney AIDS or something. Gastro doc says he doesn’t think it is pancreatitis but something kidney related. The joys of getting old 😑
….typically beats the alternative………
 
I bought my f350 brand new in 2000. My g/f has driven it once around the block with me sitting in the passenger seat. And thats the way it's going to be.
I got my F250 brand new in 2014 and nobody drivers it, except the people at the Ford dealer. I should say nobody wants to drive it in my house hold, but me. It has the extended cab and 8" bed.
 
When I was a kid, (10 ish)I went out to start dad’s pickup one chilly morning to let it warm up. The ignition was shot, so he had the switch pulled out and would typically use a 7 mag cartridge to shove it over to start. I pushed in the clutch, jiggled the stick shift side to side a little bit, then started the thing up and let the clutch out, just like I’d seen dad do. I was pretty proud of myself til I let the clutch out and felt the rig lurch backwards… right through the brand new garage door… dad ran out, thinking God only knows what, was initially scared, mad-whatever and saw my face and the destruction involved. Instead of the ass-reaming I was expecting, he started laughing hysterically…. That reaction was almost scarier than the reaming. Mom was less than impressed.
 
I have seen where a rehab facility put a great horned owl and a bald eagle in the same enclosure overnight to be released the next day. The owl killed and partially ate the bald eagle. I wish I could find the picture of the remains of a red tail hawk that an owl left in my tree stand about 20 years ago. Only feathers, a few bones, and the talons were left.
 
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I am currently sipping Mic Ultra and waiting for the other meds to kick in….while sitting with my hip against a pillow.

Imma have to put some slack back in the cable, it is much much too fast.
Should have used a not so close relative as your crash test dummy!
 
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