Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

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Last week after spending 8 hours in an attic I arrived home to find a storm had blown down my chicken run. Luckily the neighbor came by and put the chickens up. When I saw it. All I could think about was that the chickens were crushed under it.
98 degrees and heat index of 110 and all I wanted was a beer. Nope, a few more hours of fixing stuff.
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Chicken lives matter! I worried about that for a long time, but my chickens quit staying in the coop anyway. They just go lay eggs in it and that’s it
 
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Yup, love my foot massages from midgets!

Sirhr
My last three vehicles have been red, nothing to do with the psychology of it. I'd actually prefer another color. I buy at end of model year and red is usually what the dealers have left over for a steal.

ETA, haha my preferred color is midget massages. Those little smokey fingers would make the junk look huge.
 
From observation, 2,000 lbs + can accelerate from 0 to 30 mph long before you can even get out an 'Oh Shit', let alone an 'Oh shit I'm f'd'. They are cute from a ' y'all ain't from around here' perspective, but they are definitely not amused with your skinny jeans. Oh by the way, these guys (and gals) are rather tame compared to the moose. Again, from experience DO NOT get between a cow and her calf.
From observation … run 3000 vertical feet and a mile without stopping. On snow. For a pb&j.
 

I have told this story before, but it fits with this GIF.

Years ago I had chickens, and in a non ending battle against coyote, opossum, raccoon.....and who knows what else looking for the all you can eat chicken buffet I had dead chickens in various stages along the years. One day leaving for work there is part of a dead chicken in the driveway....I get out toss it in the burn barrel.

That weekend I burn the barrel and the chicken blew out of the barrel just like this, flew over 24 feet in the air flaming and landed in the grass to explode just like this.

I wish I had it on video, the most funny thing I have ever seen.
 
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Finally got a picture of one. This one would land on a branch in the tree behind it then come back for more

I have a feeder too. Some years they are brave and will buzz around my head in curiosity. I got to hold one last year. It flew in the garage only to get lost trying to escape out a closed window. Was able to carefully enclose them in my hand to release back outside.

Have also witnessed some long, fierce battles over the feeder.
 
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