Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

[quietmike]

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Deputy I used to work with was attacked by a snow monkey being kept as a pet. It had already attacked a woman, they show up, monkey jumps at him. Shot it once with a 45 hydrashock as it was going toward his face. Got his left arm up and the monkey bit a chunk out of his forearm about the size of a dollar bill. Got the monkey off his arm, second deputy blasted him with buckshot, and followed up with a slug to be sure.
Never looked at monkeys the same since.

 

[Lawless]

 

[Lawless]

 

[sirhrmechanic]

@Dirty D .... they're playing your tune...

Sirhr

 

[cas6969]

 

[7.62willdo]

Spiders are bad enough but one hopped up on caffeine……………I’m out……

 

[lariat]

Spiders are bad enough but one hopped up on caffeine……………I’m out……

Nasa gave spiders drugs – their webs changed when high on marijuana, caffeine and LSD

NASA once fed spiders drugs like LSD and marijuana and then watched as the stoned bugs made “deformed” webs. The space agency published the results of its bizarre experiment in 1995 – a…

www.thesun.co.uk

 

[madppcs]

Deputy I used to work with was attacked by a snow monkey being kept as a pet. It had already attacked a woman, they show up, monkey jumps at him. Shot it once with a 45 hydrashock as it was going toward his face. Got his left arm up and the monkey bit a chunk out of his forearm about the size of a dollar bill. Got the monkey off his arm, second deputy blasted him with buckshot, and followed up with a slug to be sure.
Never looked at monkeys the same since.

The Porch ones are even worse!!

 

[7.62willdo]

The Porch ones are even worse!!

I see what you did there…..

 

[UKDslayer]

Nasa gave spiders drugs – their webs changed when high on marijuana, caffeine and LSD

NASA once fed spiders drugs like LSD and marijuana and then watched as the stoned bugs made “deformed” webs. The space agency published the results of its bizarre experiment in 1995 – a…

www.thesun.co.uk

Great use of tax dollars.

 

[Thorny]

 

[lariat]

Deputy I used to work with was attacked by a snow monkey being kept as a pet. It had already attacked a woman, they show up, monkey jumps at him. Shot it once with a 45 hydrashock as it was going toward his face. Got his left arm up and the monkey bit a chunk out of his forearm about the size of a dollar bill. Got the monkey off his arm, second deputy blasted him with buckshot, and followed up with a slug to be sure.
Never looked at monkeys the same since.

I have found no safe monkey on any continent I have been on. They are all dangerous and conniving and some are an outright a threat to your life. I truly hate them. Worse than spiders.

 

[7.62willdo]

I have found no safe monkey on any continent I have been on. They are all dangerous and conniving and some are an outright a threat to your life. I truly hate them. Worse than spiders.

What about a …………wait for it…………..wait for it………………SPIDER MONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[UKDslayer]

she really doesnt like thunder. these seem to settle her quite a bit.


View attachment 7997982

Golden or Great white Pyrenees?

 

[Gee Kay]

Golden or Great white Pyrenees?

maremma, italian sheep dogs. look similar to a great pyrenees just not as tall. but saying that, our 10mth old male has overtaken the female and still growing.

 

[Gee Kay]

 

[Gee Kay]

 

[Gee Kay]

 

[Mike Casselton]

I have found no safe monkey on any continent I have been on. They are all dangerous and conniving and some are an outright a threat to your life. I truly hate them. Worse than spiders.

There was a guy that frequented the varmint hunting sites back in the day. He lived in Belize and went by the screen name of Monkeyman.

I loved reading about his adventures of shooting those nasty monkeys along golf courses, schools and any other target of opportunity.

He moved on to rally racing and haven't heard from him since then. ☹

 

[quietmike]

I have found no safe monkey on any continent I have been on. They are all dangerous and conniving and some are an outright a threat to your life. I truly hate them. Worse than spiders.

Being divorced twice, I agree.

 

[37L1]

 

[Pharmseller]

Is that Epstein?

 

[Dirty D]

Deputy I used to work with was attacked by a snow monkey being kept as a pet. It had already attacked a woman, they show up, monkey jumps at him. Shot it once with a 45 hydrashock as it was going toward his face. Got his left arm up and the monkey bit a chunk out of his forearm about the size of a dollar bill. Got the monkey off his arm, second deputy blasted him with buckshot, and followed up with a slug to be sure.
Never looked at monkeys the same since.

I knew a guy that was a Blackhawk pilot back in the 90’s. On an Africa deployment he had to fly in and do an emergency extraction of a Ranger squad that made the mistake of shooting a monkey and the whole fucking troop (250-300 monkeys) came after them, the Rangers called for the emergency extract when they realized that they were running out of ammo.

 

[dustingaunder]

I would kill every monkey I was legally allowed to kill. Those things are evil. Like humans but unrestricted by consequences in the slightest.

 

[lariat]

I knew a guy that was a Blackhawk pilot back in the 90’s. On an Africa deployment he had to fly in and do an emergency extraction of a Ranger squad that made the mistake of shooting a monkey and the whole fucking troop (250-300 monkeys) came after them, the Rangers called for the emergency extract when they realized that they were running out of ammo.

They should have napalmed the area or just dropped off more ammo and reinforcements. Those things will steal babies and attack humans with no provocation if they are allowed to keep up with their shenanigans without repurcussions. People greatly underestimate how strong, agile and intelligent they are. They will stalk and hunt people.

Wild monkeys steal infant, throw child off roof in tragic attack

A gang of monkeys killed a newborn baby in India on Friday, when the they snatched him from his parents and threw him off a roof terrace as family members looked on in horror.

www.foxnews.com

Baby is 'stolen and thrown to her death in moat by pack of wild monkeys'

A MUM was left horrified after her newborn baby was stolen and thrown to her death in a moat by a pack of wild monkeys, according to reports. The eight-day-old twin girls were both snatched by the …

www.thesun.co.uk

Monkeys Terrorizing Japanese City, Trying to Snatch Babies, Attack People

Monkeys are terrorizing a city in Japan, attacking youth and the elderly and trying to snatch babies.

www.tmz.com

Chimps are killing people in Uganda: 'It broke off the arm... opened the stomach and removed the kidneys'

Chimpanzees are attacking people in Uganda, part of a disturbing trend going on in the country that has led to crop loss and even death.

www.foxnews.com

This is how its done:

 

[Mr.BR]

'Stroking the dog' motive

 

[Conaso]

Try messing with a troop of baboons or try to drive through them crossing a roadway, at times they even post road guards.

 

[Dead Eye Dick]

 

[Dead Eye Dick]

 

[Dead Eye Dick]

Before marriage

 

[MrSmith]

Nasa gave spiders drugs – their webs changed when high on marijuana, caffeine and LSD

NASA once fed spiders drugs like LSD and marijuana and then watched as the stoned bugs made “deformed” webs. The space agency published the results of its bizarre experiment in 1995 – a…

www.thesun.co.uk

Another study on the effects of drugs on spiders. Only a couple of minutes. Informative and highly recommended.



Thank you,
MrSmith

 

[Longshot231]

 

[Int1968]

 

[cas6969]

 

[CSGambill]

Woman who married a rag doll claims he 'cheated'

Meirivone Rocha Moraes, 37, from Brazil, said she has banished her ragdoll lover to another bed after he 'went to a motel with another woman' and she decided to 'search his phone'.

www.dailymail.co.uk

 

[Gee Kay]

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly a jet fighter appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring flight isn’t it?

Now have a look here!" He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive.

He loops back next to the Airbus and asks: "Well, how was that?" The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but watch this!"

The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, "Well, how was that?

Confused, the jet pilot asks, "What did you do?" The Airbus pilot laughs and says: "I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the shitter, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry."

 

[Gee Kay]

 

[Old Man with Gun]

View attachment 8000844

Says the person who needs saving to the people who don't.

 

[Gee Kay]

 

[Gee Kay]

 

[Gee Kay]

 

[Gee Kay]

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

Jack can't figure out why the rock keeps moving

 

[Gee Kay]

 

[Gee Kay]

 

[whatsupdoc]

Woman who married a rag doll claims he 'cheated'

Meirivone Rocha Moraes, 37, from Brazil, said she has banished her ragdoll lover to another bed after he 'went to a motel with another woman' and she decided to 'search his phone'.

www.dailymail.co.uk

"the duo decided to get hitched in a ceremony attended by 250 people.

Soon, she 'gave birth' in only 35 minutes while at home, with a doctor and nurse on site, and live-streamed the ordeal to an audience of 200 people"


Just shows you how much the Human Race has decayed.

 

[Gee Kay]

View attachment 8000864
Jack can't figure out why the rock keeps moving

i came across those moving rocks while out doing some mowing. was a long way from the river

 

[sirhrmechanic]

 

[Thorny]

Woman who married a rag doll claims he 'cheated'

Meirivone Rocha Moraes, 37, from Brazil, said she has banished her ragdoll lover to another bed after he 'went to a motel with another woman' and she decided to 'search his phone'.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Allegedly the offspring...