Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

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I’ve seen this backfire in a pretty hilarious way, so be careful.

When I started at my first real job(many many moons ago) we hired another young, new guy not long after. One Friday the whole shop took the last 45 minutes to clean up. Of course, somebody sent him to look for a squeegee sharpener. He fell for it but the parts manager caught him and explained it before he got laughed out of the shop. He went back to the guy that asked about the fake tool and said “GM wants to talk to you. He heard me asking for one of these and sounded pissed that we’re using so many of these”, but obviously hadn’t talked to our GM. Original guy went walking up front to talk to GM. GM didn’t have a fucking clue what he was talking about which is the moment he figured out he had been played pretty good. He took being fooled pretty well though, having to walk all the way through the shop being laughed at
'68 I was working as a welder's helper (grunt) on a pipeline/compressor plant site outside Ft. Stockton TX. HUGE complex, surrounded by pipelines with a temporary structure in the middle serving as a main hub for supplies, etc. & "Red", the head of the welding crews, stayed there. It was at least 5-600 yds. from the particular line myself, my welder, ("Coonie" Dudley), and a 3 other pairs of welders/helpers were working.

Coonie thought it would be great fun to send his grunt (ME!) to the main shack for some "Arc-All". It's summer in TX....hot as hell.

Just so happens, (and unbeknownst to us peons) the Houston TX based conglomerate who had the contract had sent their company man there for an evaluation inspection that day. Also, just so happens, THAT man had years of welding experience on land as well as undersea (prolly why he had the job). Also, just so happens, he was talking to "Red" when I interrupted the conversation to ask Red for some Arc-All.

He INSTANTLY turned to me and said, "Son, who is your welder"? I told him and HE told Red to get in a pickup & go get Coonie. I knew right then that the shit was about to hit the fan, but didn't know if I was gonna get any on ME. Houston Boss let me know I'm GTG, not to worry.

Red shows back up w/ Coonie and BossMan says,"DId you send the man on a fucking Arc-All goose chase"?
Coonie: "Yes sir".
BossMan: "You're fired. Spool up your rig and get the fuck off my jobsite."
BossMan points to me......"Red, this man will now be YOUR helper here in the main site shack"! Pass the word, we're on a tight schedule and no more of this kind of bullshit will be tolerated."

Karma, baby! And THAT'S how I spent a summer in West TX under a tent!
 
'68 I was working as a welder's helper (grunt) on a pipeline/compressor plant site outside Ft. Stockton TX. HUGE complex, surrounded by pipelines with a temporary structure in the middle serving as a main hub for supplies, etc. & "Red", the head of the welding crews, stayed there. It was at least 5-600 yds. from the particular line myself, my welder, ("Coonie" Dudley), and a 3 other pairs of welders/helpers were working.

Coonie thought it would be great fun to send his grunt (ME!) to the main shack for some "Arc-All". It's summer in TX....hot as hell.

Just so happens, (and unbeknownst to us peons) the Houston TX based conglomerate who had the contract had sent their company man there for an evaluation inspection that day. Also, just so happens, THAT man had years of welding experience on land as well as undersea (prolly why he had the job). Also, just so happens, he was talking to "Red" when I interrupted the conversation to ask Red for some Arc-All.

He INSTANTLY turned to me and said, "Son, who is your welder"? I told him and HE told Red to get in a pickup & go get Coonie. I knew right then that the shit was about to hit the fan, but didn't know if I was gonna get any on ME. Houston Boss let me know I'm GTG, not to worry.

Red shows back up w/ Coonie and BossMan says,"DId you send the man on a fucking Arc-All goose chase"?
Coonie: "Yes sir".
BossMan: "You're fired. Spool up your rig and get the fuck off my jobsite."
BossMan points to me......"Red, this man will now be YOUR helper here in the main site shack"! Pass the word, we're on a tight schedule and no more of this kind of bullshit will be tolerated."

Karma, baby! And THAT'S how I spent a summer in West TX under a tent!
Fuck, that’s a crazy story. But my curiosity is piqued. Since I’m not a welder, what is Arc-All supposed to be?
 
Dad was a framing contractor forever- sent “Luke” all over town looking for shit that didn’t exist. When cell phones first got popular, he’d call ahead to the lumber yards and everyone would play along, then call ahead and send him across town to look for (board stretchers, nail sharpeners for the nail guns, roofing shingasos, etc….) and the best was when he got sent in to the cute pharmacist for a tube of Pap smear for chapped lips. Could write volumes on that stuff….
Sends employee all over town in company truck to look for stuff that doesn't exist- as a practical joke. In the meantime, said employee is using up company fuel to spend his day not working- while getting paid. Who really got the last laugh?
 
Sends employee all over town in company truck to look for stuff that doesn't exist- as a practical joke. In the meantime, said employee is using up company fuel to spend his day not working- while getting paid. Who really got the last laugh?
We’ve been laughing for 30 years about that stuff…. You tell me.
 
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Sorry peasants not available at Mickey D’s

Actually preferred Westphalian ham which was very similar, but became unobtainable in recent years, so I have had to substitute with prosciutto.
Can do without the shrimp myself, but wrapped around a nice honeydew or some whole mozzarella so yummy.

Has anybody had any decent results with wild boar? I understand sow back-straps are decent, but what about smoked?
 
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I must admit that as I have gotten older, I do love the heated seats.
I thought they were for pussies until I bought a truck that they were included in. I don't leave them on for very long but they take the edge off while you're waiting for the heater to catch up. Heated steering wheel is pretty nice too.
 
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