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Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)
- Thread starter Lawless
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The shark is Deep Blue, and Ocean Ramsey caught some flack for her interactions if memory serves.
Spooky! Lori Lightfoot Dresses Up As Lori Lightfoot
CHICAGO, IL — Mayor Lori Lightfoot sent shivers down the spines of Chicagoans as she revealed her spine-tingling costume: none other than herself. The city was left stunned and slightly perplexed as the mayor emerged in what can only be described as the most bone-chilling Halloween costume...
babylonbee.com
Imagine the shit living in there… I mean besides the lice, grub worms and probably a smelt.
I wear layers. I have often thought about what if I have to go to the hospital. They will have to go through my layers like they are trying to get to the center of an artichoke. Whatever, I’m warm.
That movie reminded me of my boyhood and baseball games in the park. I have posted this story before but like an old uncle that repeats boyhood sagas over and over, I will retell it here.
I had crush on a girl when I was 13. She was a beautiful, heavenly, radiant creature with chestnut brown hair that was prettier than the sun shining off a rifle barrel in the morning. She had more curves than I could put on a baseball at the time.
She was an older woman at 17. She never cast a glance at me despite my petitions to the Almighty. Except that I had a chance when she joined us for a softball game at the city park!
She was on the opposite team and I was pitching. She got up to bat and all I could think of was how I could win her affections. Striking her out was not the way to do it. So I did everything to help her get a hit. I was hoping she could knock it out of the park but she really did swing that bat like a girl.
I was doing my very best to pitch them slow enough so she could get a hit. The count got to three and two. I put a slow one across the plate and never saw it coming back at me. I felt the pain in my chest and was on my back before the sound of the crack of the bat got to my ears.
It knocked the wind out of me and the lights went out briefly. When I opened my eyes, the love of my life with the chestnut hair and soft curves was holding me in her arms. She kept apologizing and begging me not to die!
Her hair fell across my face and the last time I ever got close to a woman's breast before that was when my mother was nursing me. That was enough to revive me and put the air back in my lungs despite the pain in my chest.
She kept saying, "Please don't die on me." and "I'm so sorry." My gosh, her voice was so pretty!
Opportunity only comes knocking once and for me it was in the form of a baseball that rocketed it's way into my sternum. I hadn't been caressed like that since I fell out of my crib and even though I wasn't a quick thinker my moment of inspiration arrived.
I closed my eyes while she cradled me in her arms and I said, "Mom, is that you? Everything is so dark. I can't see. Please kiss me before I go."
I puckered up an waited for my moment of ecstasy, when she dropped me like a sack of fertilizer. She walked off the field, out of the park and out of my life.
LOL...I was gonna say "oh look, here comes 2024"
Ok, I admit it, as a lover of utilitarian things….I don’t hate it.
www.marlinfirearms.com
A guy in an unforgiving landscape like Alaska would definitely see this as useful.
Dark Series Model 1895™
www.marlinfirearms.com
A guy in an unforgiving landscape like Alaska would definitely see this as useful.
I want to hate it. I want them to leave the tacticool shit off the lever guns, and leave them as is. But, I kinda dig it, a little.Ok, I admit it, as a lover of utilitarian things….I don’t hate it.
Dark Series Model 1895™
View attachment 8261791
A guy in an unforgiving landscape like Alaska would definitely see this as useful.
To be fair....Taylor Swift tickets are IMPOSSIBLE to find.
or so I'm told.
Not sure where I'm going with this except to a gay pride event...
Have you considered professional counseling?
Ok, I admit it, as a lover of utilitarian things….I don’t hate it.
Dark Series Model 1895™
View attachment 8261791
A guy in an unforgiving landscape like Alaska would definitely see this as useful.
Useful, definitely. But if there is downtime between essential tasks of upkeeping my shelter and making sure I am good healthwise and have enough food on hand, I am sawing tree limbs, debarking, cutting, forming, and venison-lard finishing a wooden replacement stock and wood forearm furniture for that gosh darned thing. Fuck I can't even look at it for too long...
