Maggie’s Joke Of The Day

[168BTHPM]

A guy gets a call from the police telling him that his house was robbed.

The offenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife.

A moment of silence passes and the guy says, “I can’t believe they fucked my wife after only five beers!”

 

[USGUNWORKS]

Re: Joke Of The Day

OUCH!

 

[az_paul]

Re: Joke Of The Day

Good one. Thanks for sharing!

 

[normbal]

Re: Joke Of The Day

A recent police academy graduate is sent to a man's home to inform him the man's wife died in a motor vehicle accident.

To confirm her identity, he asks the man for a photograph of her.

Staring at the photo for a moment while considering how to give the bad news, he says "I'm sorry to say, it appears your wife has been hit by a truck."

The man blinks, swallows, and says "yeah, I hear that a lot, but she's a great cook and she's great with the kids."

 

[168BTHPM]

Re: Joke Of The Day

Good one.

 

[168BTHPM]

Re: Joke Of The Day

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.

She said she would like to come back as a cow.

I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

 

[weber61]

Re: Joke Of The Day

lol!!!

 

[Maggot]

Re: Joke Of The Day

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 168BTHPM</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.

She said she would like to come back as a cow.

I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

</div></div>

As he spread his blanket in the dog house.....

 

[mission_fail]

Re: Joke Of The Day

What a miserable guy to only have five beers in the house.

 

[Big Bo]

Re: Joke Of The Day

Looser

 

[168BTHPM]

Re: Joke Of The Day

My wife has been missing a week now.

The police said to prepare for the worst.

So, I went down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.

 

[supergage]

Re: Joke Of The Day

Great stuff!!!!

 

[FIREMEDIC27]

Re: Joke Of The Day

Joe lives in a nursing home and is having "relations" with Edna across the hall. Pretty soon Edna busts Joe in bed with another lady down the hall. "Damit Joe!!!!" she screams.... "What does she have that I don't?!?!?!?!?!?! Parkinsons!

 

[sgtkeebler]

Re: Joke Of The Day

NASA is stripping the moon-landing titles from Neil Armstrong, it was determined that he was getting high to get there.

 

[Early Cuyler]

Re: Joke Of The Day

Did you hear about the cannibal that dumped his girlfriend?

 

[Kinsman]

Re: Joke Of The Day

The cannibal that dumped his girlfriend reminds me of the queer bear that laid his paw on the table...

 

[Kinsman]

Re: Joke Of The Day

Or the horny goose that made a duck under the porch....

 

[Kinsman]

Re: Joke Of The Day

or when I bought a french car and before I could get home with it, all four tires went down on me....

 

[168BTHPM]

Re: Joke Of The Day

Was banging this nice lady on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.. She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!”

Thinking back, I really should have run – but you don’t get offers like that every day.

 

[Killer Spade 13]

Re: Joke Of The Day

Kinsman, that would be "eaten" . . . past participle . . . just saying.

 

[Maggot]

Re: Joke Of The Day

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Halcyon612</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Did you hear about the cannibal that dumped his girlfriend? </div></div>

You owe me a keyboard.

 

[Kinsman]

Re: Joke Of The Day

Killer

99% of the members here wouldn't know the difference.....LOL