Man lets hyena eat his toes and penis

[Maggot]

Stranger than fiction...you just cant make this stuff up. At least he wont reproduce.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Malawian man was told by a witch doctor that losing parts of his body would make him really rich, so he decided that he would allow a hyena to eat his penis and toes.

Chamangeni Zulu, believed to be in his early twenties, says that the witch doctor promised him that sacrificing his body parts would bring him lots of money.

“I came from Malawi and when I arrived in Chipata I met some business persons who told me that the best way to become rich was to sacrifice parts of my body,” said Zulu to The Times of Zambia. "I went to a bush where I was instructed to be naked and a hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten."

 

[Veer_G]

It almost sounds like some form of really messed-up Nigerian 419 retribution.

Oh, and congratulations on perhaps the strangest thread title ever.

 

[Victor N TN]

Either he had a hand full of Valium or has a LOT more self control than I do. And almost all the fore mentioned parts on me don't work very well any way. But that don't mean I want to have them gnawed off.

 

[Ballistic308]

Sounds like one of the many get rich quick spam emails.

 

[Veer_G]

Sounds like one of the many get rich quick spam emails.

He gets his dick and toes gnawed off by a hyena and you mention SPAM?

Drôle, very, very drôle ...

 

[CalebFuller78]

He's probably that fuckin Nigerian prince nobody will send their money to. I have trouble letting the doctor down there no way would I let a hyena down there. Also look at that smug shit smile, he looks proud as shit that he ain't got no nuts. But hell I say that he's got balls for doing it.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Jerrrrstanley]

He had balls for doing it. Fixed it for you. What dick eating hyena would leave the balls?

 

[hlee]

I bet it won't take long before the donations from international bleeding hearts start rolling in and the witch doctor is proven correct...

 

[Veer_G]

I wonder if the hyena was sophisticated and urbane enough to insist on a proper condiment with his snack?



And yes, the clip is perfect​ for this board ...

 

[Maggot]

Never saw that one before. That's funny. Don't fuck with a man's Grey Poupon.

 

[30calDeath]

LMFAO that is fucking hilarious! What dumbfuck in this age actually believes in a witch doctor.....moron!

 

[Veer_G]

LMFAO that is fucking hilarious! What dumbfuck in this age actually believes in a witch doctor.....moron!

Oh, I don't know, I think some of us could at least be receptive to the idea of one's receptionist ...



Besides, this guy is in Malawi. It ain't exactly Pittsburgh.

 

[Mac21]

What dumbfuck in this age actually believes in a witch doctor

Only 95% of black Africa

 

[Rthur]

Interesting.....
Witch doctors come in all sorts of shapes/looks
food for thought

R

 

[shankster..]

I've woken up hungover next to few hyenas but I never lost any body parts. He's doing it wrong.

 

[rjacobs]

I've woken up hungover next to few hippo's but I never lost any body parts. He's doing it wrong.

fixed it for you

 

[1J04]

Guess why this man let a HYENA EAT HIS PENIS - YouTube

 

[CMH]

Besides, this guy is in Malawi. It ain't exactly Pittsburgh.

Nope, it's not Pittsburgh yet, but with the current downward spiral they hope to get there some day soon.

 

[sakobob]

so do you think the hyena's where standing there going " no you first it has to be some sort of trick"

 

[Switchblade]

...this is the reason they have never made it past third world progression by themselves. Had we left it all alone they would still be nothing more than tribal peoples to this day. Same applies to areas of South America, Southwest Asia(read that Iraq, Afghanistan, et al).
These are the places that, only by the grace of the US, Britian, and Germany, have had any innovation or technology. Left on their own, they fail to progress beyond the iron age or the use of stick and stone.

 

[Maggot]

...this is the reason they have never made it past third world progression by themselves. Had we left it all alone they would still be nothing more than tribal peoples to this day. Same applies to areas of South America, Southwest Asia(read that Iraq, Afghanistan, et al).
These are the places that, only by the grace of the US, Britian, and Germany, have had any innovation or technology. Left on their own, they fail to progress beyond the iron age or the use of stick and stone.

A clarification, my dear Switch. 'Third World' actually refers to being politically non aligned with either the East or West (1st and 2nd)/ Commie or Democratic. But I agree with your assessment. Maybe we should pull out and let them go back to sticks and stones. Hard to blow up a building with those.

 

[pmclaine]

LMFAO that is fucking hilarious! What dumbfuck in this age actually believes in a witch doctor.....moron!

I was in Liberia in 1990. Short time before I got there the Chief of Police in Monrovia was killed by a recruit.

They were at a "bullet proofing ceremony"

The witch doctor bullet proofs the new recruits and to prove how powerful his magic is he fires a pistol at the Chief who miraculously is unharmed. fortunately the Chiefs gun was loaded with blanks.

Well an amazed recruit pulled out his gun and fired at the Chief who, no shit, died.

The witch doctor explained it away as the chief had a moment of disbelief.

I was offered a personal bullet proofing by the char lady at the very reasonable price of $500.

Amazing we were pumping billions into that country to prop up Doe. The newspaper was filled with stories of congressmen that turned into hyenas and attacked the other members.

This story is reality in Africa. We are getting our moneys worth over there.

 

[Maggot]

Just cant make that shit up^^^^^^^^^^^

 

[pmclaine]

I doubt a Hyena really ate his junk. There would be nothing left of him if a hyena got after him.

If not some Nigeria scam more than likely he self mutilated or some other "friend" ripped his junk off probably to make a stay hard potion and now smiley is trying to come up with an explanation that sounds reasonable to the rest of his culture.

The hyena story is just what would be reasonable and believable to his neighbors when he shows up at the BBQ with stump feet and and sitting to pee.