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Maggie’s Motivational Pic Thread v2.0 - - New Rules - See Post #1

Double3 said:
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Click to expand...

So you're good with the two-handed, opposing grip, hand-job simulation thing, now get to work on that virtual teeth-dragging shit.
 
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<code><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vCiH0DfWnzA/U-D5dfcUluI/AAAAAAAADoM/jEsiU5eCC4Q/s1600/freda+extremist1.jpg" style="width: 50%; height: 50%"/></code>
 
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This just in on the situations in Europe, Ukraine and the Middle East:

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Europe, Ukraine and the Trans-Jordan and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since The Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out and the Germans bombed their chip shops. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada and during the World Cup, in relation to any team that beat them both in games and in riots.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. See soccer riots, above.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only three higher levels in France are "Capitulate," "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. However, the nation's reverse-azimuth compass factory continues to run three shifts.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Three more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations," "Change Sides," and "Drop rifles then sell them to Oswald."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and die Horst Wessel Lieder." They also have two higher levels: "Invade Poland" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels which will result in many unpaid bar tabs and unsold waffles.

The Spanish are all excited that their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, finally, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level, though the near invasion of Australia by Japan in 1942 did result in most Australians attending their Barbie's armed. While no Japanese were harmed as a result, several Australians were shot, with their flesh wounds resulting in little more than a good bar story.

Finally, Canada apologized politely.

Cheers,

Sirhr
 
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[video=youtube;-Tz1bRr9fjE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Tz1bRr9fjE[/video]
 
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