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Maggie’s Motivational Pic Thread v2.0 - - New Rules - See Post #1

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Thank me for my service

 
Thank me for my service

I will thank you when you stop being you
 
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Yeah, this one’s about me. I was heading home, driving like a normal adult, and changed lanes with three car lengths of space—more than enough for anyone with a brain stem. But this insecure, tail-sniffing fuckwit apparently thought I was disrespecting his fragile ego and cut him off. So what does he do? Lights me up with his brights, glues himself to my rear bumper so tight I could count the dead bugs on his windshield. So I did what any reasonable man does when a hemorrhoid starts honking behind you—I left his limp-dicked ass in the dust and made my turn a quarter mile ahead.


Traffic bottlenecks after the turn, and here comes this mouth-breathing dildo gnome blasting up the left lane like he’s in Fast & Furious: Cuck Edition. He cuts in front and brake checks like he’s in charge of something other than his own impending humiliation. So I pass him again—because I have places to be and no patience for bumper-sucking shit goblins. But traffic stalls and he slithers up beside me again.


Then the poor bastard makes yet another poor life choice—one that proves he doesn’t understand old men with no kids. He creeps his precious little vintage 4Runner in front of my headlights and starts drifting right, trying to herd me into the curb like I’m supposed to flinch.


I considered a pit maneuver, but I gave him the gift of a life lesson instead. I buried my left fender into his polished hipster wagon and carved a deep, satisfying scrape from the rear quarter panel to the front bumper. Just enough to let him know: I’m not the one. I was ready for a gunfight, if that’s where he wanted to take it. But somewhere between the sound of his clearcoat peeling and the smell of his own panic, the taint maggot reconsidered his life choices and bolted like the coward he is.

True story.
 
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