If brains were dynamite....You wouldn't have enough to blow your nose
An old country boy favorite:
Don't call me "buddy". All my buddies eat shit and chase rabbits - and you don't chase rabbits.
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Shut up, you'll never be half the man your mother is.
You'll never get laid unless you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
You look like your face caught on fire and somebody put it out with a hammer.
You're so fat you could sell shade.
I'd like to see your point of view, but there's no way I'm putting my head up your ass.
I can always tell you are lying - your lips move.
Your ass is jealous of how much shit comes out of your mouth.
Don't call me "buddy". All my buddies eat shit and chase rabbits - and you don't chase rabbits.
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Shut up, you'll never be half the man your mother is.
You'll never get laid unless you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
You look like your face caught on fire and somebody put it out with a hammer.
You're so fat you could sell shade.
I'd like to see your point of view, but there's no way I'm putting my head up your ass.
I can always tell you are lying - your lips move.
Your ass is jealous of how much shit comes out of your mouth.
"Nice gal, but she's got less curves than a highway between Dallas and Fort Worth." - Foghorn Leghorn
"So tight he wouldn't pay a dollar to see a pissant eat a bale of hay"
"Couldn't pour piss outa a boot with the instructions on the heel"
R
"Couldn't pour piss outa a boot with the instructions on the heel"
R
“That woman’s as cold as a nudist on an iceberg”
“Nice mannered kid, just a little on the dumb side”
“That kid’s about as sharp as a pound of wet liver”
“His muscles are as soggy as a used tea bag”
“Look sister is any of this filterin’ through that little blue bonnet of yours”
“I got, I say I got this boy as fidgety as a bubble dancer with a slow leak”
“Stop, I say stop it boy, you’re doin’ alot of choppin’ but no chips are flyin’
“That dog, I say that dog’s strictly GI – gibberin idiot that is”
“Nice mannered kid, just a little on the dumb side”
“That kid’s about as sharp as a pound of wet liver”
“His muscles are as soggy as a used tea bag”
“Look sister is any of this filterin’ through that little blue bonnet of yours”
“I got, I say I got this boy as fidgety as a bubble dancer with a slow leak”
“Stop, I say stop it boy, you’re doin’ alot of choppin’ but no chips are flyin’
“That dog, I say that dog’s strictly GI – gibberin idiot that is”
Your dad should have rolled over and shot you on the wall.
I bet you pull your dick and balls to the side while you fuck your wife.
Got this young kid works with our crew. For the last 2 Years almost* every morning he’ll say “what’s up?” to an old timer who drives truck for us and almost every morning that old man will say “Your dick in a Gay Bar”. LMAO. Kid still ain’t figured out not to say what’s up to that old boy.
Bless his heart.
Smarter'n a rock but dumber'n a tree.
Fuck the fuckin' fucker.
No, they don't call you spike cause they think you're dumb. If they thought you was dumb they'd call you wedge.
Dumber than a box o' rocks.
Thank you,
MrSmith
Smarter'n a rock but dumber'n a tree.
Fuck the fuckin' fucker.
No, they don't call you spike cause they think you're dumb. If they thought you was dumb they'd call you wedge.
Dumber than a box o' rocks.
Thank you,
MrSmith
What's up reply- Peckers and airplanes.
Hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire.
Her ass looks like two hogs fightin' in a gunny sack.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Colder than a dead Eskimo.
Ass high on a tall Indian.
Her ass is 2 axe handles wide.
Her ass is as wide as a piano bench.
R
Hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire.
Her ass looks like two hogs fightin' in a gunny sack.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Colder than a dead Eskimo.
Ass high on a tall Indian.
Her ass is 2 axe handles wide.
Her ass is as wide as a piano bench.
R
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it's working to perfection.
Devo was talking about you.
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
Were you born this stupid or did you have to be trained?
You should donate blood - all of it.
God didn't give me enough middle fingers to deal with an asshole like you.
I'm jealous of the people that haven't met you.
Devo was talking about you.
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
Were you born this stupid or did you have to be trained?
You should donate blood - all of it.
God didn't give me enough middle fingers to deal with an asshole like you.
I'm jealous of the people that haven't met you.
If you voted for Obama in 08 to prove you aren't racist, who did you vote for in 12 to prove you aren't stupid?
F**k you and f**k the raft you and your family floated in on.
(Edit, what I say to guys who never pick their tools or scrap or use a broom)
You must be one of those guys who never wipes their ass cause it's just going to shitty again anyway.
F**k you and f**k the raft you and your family floated in on.
(Edit, what I say to guys who never pick their tools or scrap or use a broom)
You must be one of those guys who never wipes their ass cause it's just going to shitty again anyway.
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Best part of you ran down your daddies leg
Last time I saw something as ugly as you it had a hook in its mouth
Last time I saw something as big as you it had 8 cylinders
Last time I saw something as ugly as you it had a hook in its mouth
Last time I saw something as big as you it had 8 cylinders
D
Deleted member 113831
Guest
Your breathe smells like you sucked off a corpse.
That chick is so fat, she irons her clothes in the driveway.
That motherfucker is suckin' air but he's blowin' shit.
Did your mother have any children that lived?
I'll bet she kick starts her dildo and rolls her own tampons.
He's queerer than a fag with two buttholes.
You've got a face just made for a penis.
3 million sperm...and you were the winner?
Her pussy is so big, to fuck her I'd have to throw a ham in her and pull the bone out.
That chick is so fat, she irons her clothes in the driveway.
That motherfucker is suckin' air but he's blowin' shit.
Did your mother have any children that lived?
I'll bet she kick starts her dildo and rolls her own tampons.
He's queerer than a fag with two buttholes.
You've got a face just made for a penis.
3 million sperm...and you were the winner?
Her pussy is so big, to fuck her I'd have to throw a ham in her and pull the bone out.
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D
Deleted member 10043
Guest
Everyone has worked with the type that this one is for.
WOULD YOU STILL SUCK DICK IF YOU WERE GAY ?
WOULD YOU STILL SUCK DICK IF YOU WERE GAY ?
A buddy used to call his nephew “blossom” constantly. So one day i asked why he called him that. He proudly said “ my brother jacked off on a flowerbed , and had a blooming idiot”
D
Deleted member 113831
Guest
How did you get so fucking retarded? Did your mom turn tricks at the Special Olympics?
Ugly as a hat full of assholes , and for those who shoot steel :
Couldn’t hit the ground with his hat ....
Couldn’t hit the ground with his hat ....
All good ones but I think the late great R. Lee Ermey summed it up with this:
"Looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mother's ass and ended up as stain on the mattress!"
--R. Lee Ermey, Full Metal Jacket
"I wouldn't piss down your throat if your guts were on fire."
--Friend's dad growing up
"Looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mother's ass and ended up as stain on the mattress!"
--R. Lee Ermey, Full Metal Jacket
"I wouldn't piss down your throat if your guts were on fire."
--Friend's dad growing up
Oh, almost forgot:
"Even a blind squirrel gets a nut now and again!"
--Me.
Good when talking optimistically about the quintessential good natured fuckup.
"Even a blind squirrel gets a nut now and again!"
--Me.
Good when talking optimistically about the quintessential good natured fuckup.
You wouldn't understand , its a guy thing .
You suck at life .
If I wanted any lip from you I would've unzipped .
If I want any shit from you I'll squeeze your head .
If I wanted to hear from you I'd beat you ti you screamed .
What's up rape survivor ?
Do your parents have any family photos where you and your siblings don't have coat hangers stickin out your heads .
That is the product of two hundred years of inbreedin .
So what do you spend a month on crayons .
When I'm in a argument and someone refers to me as Motherfucker .
Look I was the one guy that actually didnt1 fuck your mother .
To any bitch that gives me a hard time from DMV to cashier . " Thank you sir
have a good day ." Or. " Good for you for having the courage to do the gender reassignment surgery ."
You suck at life .
If I wanted any lip from you I would've unzipped .
If I want any shit from you I'll squeeze your head .
If I wanted to hear from you I'd beat you ti you screamed .
What's up rape survivor ?
Do your parents have any family photos where you and your siblings don't have coat hangers stickin out your heads .
That is the product of two hundred years of inbreedin .
So what do you spend a month on crayons .
When I'm in a argument and someone refers to me as Motherfucker .
Look I was the one guy that actually didnt1 fuck your mother .
To any bitch that gives me a hard time from DMV to cashier . " Thank you sir
have a good day ." Or. " Good for you for having the courage to do the gender reassignment surgery ."
From my friend and match director after seeing my Vudoo targets “Who did you hire to shoot for You?”
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