Maggie’s  Remember Who's On First...New Variant

fx77

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
  • Nov 29, 2005
    1,463
    756
    ny state
    You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old
    to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of
    us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

    If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
    'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

    COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
    about buying a computer.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: Your computer?

    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: What about Windows?

    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.. I need a computer and software.

    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
    proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

    ABBOTT: I just did.

    COSTELLO: You just did what?

    ABBOTT: Recommend something.

    COSTELLO: You recommended something?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: For my office?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows..

    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
    sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

    ABBOTT: Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: Word in Office.

    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some
    straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
    can track my money with?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

    ABBOTT: One copy.

    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

    (A few days later)

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

    ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............
     

    Maggot

    Better to die on your feet than live on your knees
    Supporter
    Full Member
    Minuteman
  • Jul 27, 2007
    15,773
    13,167
    Virginia
    Re: Remember Who's On First...New Variant

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: fx77</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
    You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old
    to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of
    us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

    If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
    'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

    COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
    about buying a computer.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: Your computer?

    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: What about Windows?

    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.. I need a computer and software.

    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
    proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

    ABBOTT: I just did.

    COSTELLO: You just did what?

    ABBOTT: Recommend something.

    COSTELLO: You recommended something?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: For my office?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows..

    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
    sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

    ABBOTT: Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: Word in Office.

    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some
    straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
    can track my money with?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

    ABBOTT: One copy.

    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

    (A few days later)

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

    ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............
    </div></div>

    I fit into both of those criteria, both old enough and young enough. Good post.
     

    Esselbach

    Private
    Full Member
    Minuteman
    Jul 16, 2011
    0
    0
    35
    Eastern Washington
    Re: Remember Who's On First...New Variant

    The Who's on First sketch with Abbot and Costello has to be one of my favorite audio bits of all time.


    ....and i'm only 25
     

    jcfd2201

    Playing with fire!
    Full Member
    Minuteman
    Mar 3, 2010
    1,035
    3
    NE Arizona
    Re: Remember Who's On First...New Variant

    That's great! A new twist on a classic bit and it's funny as sh*t!