<span style="font-weight: bold">Man Rules:</span>
For all of you who need to grow a pair. (...sorry girls,...)
Print this out and post it where the Women you love will see it.
The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time
to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are OUR rules
from the male side.
<span style="color: #FF0000">Please note.
these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE! </span>
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it
down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be
clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable
answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem
only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is
what your girlfriends are for.
1.. Anything we said 6 months ago
is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become
Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you
probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be
interpreted two ways and
one of the ways makes you
sad or angry, we meant the
other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know -best -
how to do it, then just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say
whatever you have to say
during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT
need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors,
like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit,
not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is..
1. If it itches, it will be
scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong
and you say "nothing,"
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question
you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear
is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about
unless you are prepared to discuss such topics
as football, HUNTING, or NASCAR
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep
on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really
don't mind that? It's like
camping.
For all of you who need to grow a pair. (...sorry girls,...)
Print this out and post it where the Women you love will see it.
The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time
to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are OUR rules
from the male side.
<span style="color: #FF0000">Please note.
these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE! </span>
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it
down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be
clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable
answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem
only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is
what your girlfriends are for.
1.. Anything we said 6 months ago
is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become
Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you
probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be
interpreted two ways and
one of the ways makes you
sad or angry, we meant the
other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know -best -
how to do it, then just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say
whatever you have to say
during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT
need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors,
like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit,
not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is..
1. If it itches, it will be
scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong
and you say "nothing,"
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question
you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear
is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about
unless you are prepared to discuss such topics
as football, HUNTING, or NASCAR
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep
on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really
don't mind that? It's like
camping.
