Share Your Poop!!!

[The D]

Phew, what an afternoon! I was grundling one out earlier that triggered a mudslide. I’ve been back to the bathroom twice more and think I’m finally empty. I’ll score the entire afternoon as a whole

Effort/consistency : ran the gamut, everything from quite the wrestling match to pretty loose and almost diarrhea-y

Appearance: no weird colors, just a fairly consistent pale brown

Odor: thankfully nothing too noxious

Overall: awesome, my pants fit better now

 

[powdahound76]

2 super nice drops today.

First was just around 0700, so a little later than normal for first go.

Last was a bit ago. There mgiht have been 1 in the middle, as 3 is pretty normal for me.

Both AM and PM were pretty big in size. formed but not hard. Strong aroma.
Easy clean up.

Give them 7.8/10 as a combined score.

Dinner tonight consists of dead critter that is gonna barely kiss the grill and whisky.
Tomorrow will be interesting!

 

[The D]

Dinner tonight consists of dead critter that is gonna barely kiss the grill and whisky.
Tomorrow will be interesting!

 

[Maelstrom]

A couple years ago I was at the police academy with a good friend of mine from work for high risk practicals. He was the role player for the day and I was the student recruit evaluator. Well after getting beat on all day by about 30 recruits we finish for the days and he is complaining about his back and ribs being sore. I told him there was ibuprofen in the glove box of my cruiser. He goes and takes 4 of them. The next day we are riding back to the academy and he is still complaining about being sore. I tell him to grab some more ibuprofen. He opens the glove box and starts cussing me out. Instead of grabbing the ibuprofen bottle he grabbed my bottle of extra strength multi symptom Imodium AD and had taken 4 of them. I thought I was going to have to pull over I was laughing so hard. He later said he didn't poop for three days. This is a man that usually goes four or five times a day.

 

[powdahound76]

Reading. It's important!!

 

[Fx51LP308]

Reading. It's important!!

Yeah, as well as "writing." Make the prescription instructions crystal clear. There was a story of a man that spoke only Spanish and got a prescription bottle that said "Take once a day." Again, the man spoke no English and thought they met "Eleven" ("Once" being Spanish for "Eleven").

Thankfully, they rushed him to the ER and got him pumped out in time. I can't imagine someone taking 11 Imodium AD. He'd be totally "full of it."

That was the one thing I hated about opiate based cough syrups (Histussin). It would block me up in a hurry!

 

[The D]

Whoo, this is an in-game play-by-play. And it’s a warm one. For anyone familiar with the South Broadway area of Denver and a little Mexican place called Jalapeños, I had a breakfast burrito this morning that was hot(spice, not temp. The only way to get them) that had sausage, chorizo, & polish sausage. It’s my favorite and probably the best burrito in the universe. Well now I’m paying for it. Let’s go to the tape

Effort) none, this was almost an emergency situation

Odor) fairly bad but nobody else in the house has passed out…yet

Color) nothing out of the ordinary

I give this one a 7.5/10. It almost took me by surprise but I was able to clench up just in time. Hopefully there aren’t any more ring of fire moments

 

[Average guy]

Those sneak attack shits keep a guy on his toes.

 

[akmike47]

Those sneak attack shits keep a guy on his toes.

Imagine that’s every shit.

 

[spartan67]

Ok. I will share with you about my shit Sunday night.

As a disclaimer. I have a spinal disease (TM) that makes me no longer regular.


It started Friday night with my Wife wanting to go out for sushi, and a few drinks after. ( Ok so what? Sounds normal so far)

Fast forward to Sunday night 1030.....

As I'm sitting in my chair, watching the football game, I hear , and feel, the dreaded rumbling sound . The alarm that shit is going to happen soon ,was loud enough for my Dog to take notice.
I couldn't leave the game, and beer! Its the 4th quarter and we are driving! Shit can surely wait a few more minutes right?

Rumble...rumble.rumble......
Nope!

Gently making my way down the hall, into the bathroom, I get some relief that I made it!!!

Remember I have a spinal disease.. What I feel when Im standing, lying down, or walking, can be totally different when I sit.

Sitting on the toilet . nothing......
Rumble rumble rumble...
By now I feel like a dam Volcano that is ready to explode. but cant.

After some great effort, I break the "plug" and explode! My God!

Im glad I watched Lowlights video on recoil management, if not I would have redecorated the bathroom with a nice brown stucco pattern, that I dont think my Wife would have liked.
After 2 blasts, and waiting a few minutes,I felt better, and started to clean up....

Rumble,,,rumble rumble....

Volcano Pt 2.

Back on for more. This was the " lava flow"....
I felt like I emptied not only mt descending colon, but transverse, ascending, diagonal, circle , and semi!
It never stopped.! I think I shit out part of Thanksgivings dinner, From 2 years ago!

The Fog......
This was something not from Carl Sanburg, but more like Stephen King.
The Dog Was going to go to his bed in the other room, but when he got in front of the bathroom door, he just turned away. My Wife from across the hall , was woken up and yelled, " What the hell is wrong with you for Gods sake?"

Finally I was done. Time to flush and call it a night..

Dope.
All that shit filled up that bowl and I was looking at a mound about 4" above the water.

We all at 1 time in our lives, found ourselves praying at the porcelain alter. Well, this time I was praying FOR the alter.
How the hell was all that shit going to flush?

Here I am at 11pm, with a plunger in hand, waiting for a possible over flow disaster..
When I pulled the handle, all I could think about was that little Thomas the Train that kept saying " I think I can..I think I can.."
It did it!!!!!! My shit was over!!! I felt like I won! I was feeling great!

The scary part of this is, next week my Wife wants to try out a new Indian restaurant. God help me...

 

[The D]

Lol, I think you win. That was an awesome story

 

[atepointer]

All I'm adding today is the one that almost got away. Recently I put some of those wafers in the tank that help with hard water in the tank/bowl. Problem was I didn't realize it was going to turn the water blue and for the last few weeks have not been able to inspect my work. Well about 20 minutes ago I sat down to let one off the chain....felt like it was unbroken....velocity not too fast, but took a bit to pinch off. I turned the light on to just see if maybe I could catch a peek and nothing so I flush and all of a sudden this beautiful tapered beast breaches. A bit like when a Humpback breaches, but also akin to when Roy Scheider was chumming in Jaws and that beast came up to eat? I wasn't 100% certain this turd may not be alive and attempting the same kind of thing.....as it rolled over and began to swirl I witnessed perhaps a top 5, but def top 10 of 2021......and almost never knew.

 

[The D]

Just had to play an away game. We took the kids downtown to the zoo. We drove through Taco Bell on the way and that reacted violently with last nights dinner of clam chowder and grilled cheese w/pepper jack cheese. I’m sure you can figure out what was going on.

Effort) 3-Little bit of pushing but just enough to get the ball rolling

Color) 10 I guess- looks exactly like it’s supposed to

Odor) 8.5- Clam chowder and Taco Bell, that should be all I have to say

Volume) 6- Fairly standard amount I guess

Overall) Thankfully I didn’t have to unleash this smell at home

 

[spartan67]

It seems to fit in right here,,

 

[roostercogburn98]

Ambushed this morning. That’s all I have to say about that

 

[powdahound76]

Please say more.


Something ya ate or just old man O ring goin bad?

 

[roostercogburn98]

Please say more.


Something ya ate or just old man O ring goin bad?

Can it be both? Had a surf and turf sushi roll and some fried shrimp dumplings for dinner. Wouldn’t normally treat me that way, so old man syndrome might be the winner!! Gotta love a photo finish.

And for those of you that wonder how a restroom in a public store can be messed up before it is even open to the public……well, there are a lot of people that visit those establishments long before the doors are unlocked

 

[Thumper580]

Anyone else suffer from this.....
I can have no indication of needing to take a crap.....then 120 seconds later I need to go NOW.... Hate it.

 

[Fx51LP308]

Anyone else suffer from this.....
I can have no indication of needing to take a crap.....then 120 seconds later I need to go NOW.... Hate it.

I am fortunate in that I can, usually, tell when something is coming. The big question being, "What state of matter (solid, liquid or gas)?" And, does it mean I should head for the facilities immediately or should I accept the risk and "expel it," thinking it will be only gaseous.... The worst time to consider that risk being when I'm in bed and not wanting to get out of bed to go. There have been a couple of times when that risk did not pay off, and I've had to change sheets. <sigh>

 

[Steel head]

 

[Mike Casselton]

Today was quite the pooping disappointment.

Had tacos for lunch. Flour tortillas, or as our German friend says "tiny, improperly folded burritos".
Anyway, they were Chicken/chorizo.

For dinner, a leftover burrito from the night before and a bowl of chili.

I was expecting great things once the coffee worked its magic.

Wonderful farts with great hang time.

Ooh boy, here we go...

Effort was easy.

Volume was close to cat shit. Why? I worked for this.

Cleanup took the most effort.
Total disappointment.

Anyway, the sky is cloud free. The breeze is light, and I'm in the house loading ammo for tomorrow.

 

[akmike47]

Ever since breakfast

 

[Steel head]

I have had excellent ’s the last 3 days

 

[powdahound76]

Odd poop this AM.
Full french press of coffee, then a poop and quick shower before church.
Always nice to drop before washing up!
Just a couple formed 3" long turds about the diameter of my thumb.
Not much aroma, no major gas bombs needed.

Guess Its time for more bacon grease and raw veggies!! Was a bit short on both yesterday and the disappointment was serious.

 

[LeftyJason]

Figured this would fit best here.

 

[myronman3]

i’ll throw out a tip for those who have lone wolf sit and climb treestands. the climbing bar on the seat makes the best improvised toilet i’ve used in over 45 years of running in the woods. it is almost as good as sitting on the throne at home.

 

[TicTacTex]

View attachment 7783402

10/10 for splash affect.

 

[Steel head]

That moment you look down in the toilet after wiping your joe Xiden and look proudly at your masterpiece.

 

[powdahound76]

Nice drop this AM.

Quite horrendous odor.

Floating on top.

Nice dark brown color. Formed, but pretty soft, broke up on the flush.

Easy clean up.

Best part??
Pooping “On the clock” at work.

 

[The D]

Clogged a toilet at work this morning…

With an added bonus that it smelled really bad and I was on my way home early to take care of some sick kids.

Effort) 8.7- I had to grunt a bit to start this one, it was pretty stubborn and quite dense

Odor) 8- bad but it wouldn’t kill any houseplants if this was a home game

Volume) 8- quite a bit, was impressive

I’m not sure if the initial struggles make this one better or worse. I definitely would rather have not needed to blow a gasket getting this one going but other than that I was impressed.

 

[Fx51LP308]

Boy did I have a scare, over the last 36 hours. Not so much in regards to me (or my GI tract), but in re: the plumbing!

Since Tues. Evening, I noticed the toilets starting to back up after flushing, at least intermittently. One would back up but the other would remain free. So, I went to bed. Woke up yesterday morning and one of them still worked while the other would back up. I figured I'd get my "jar" devices for #1 at the ready and hope I didn't have to go #2 while this was going on.

Well you know... Murphy's law. I had to go real bad. By this time, both toilets were backing up. Although , after time, they had slowly reduced to almost nothing in the bowl. I was ready to implement my "s**t can" system (I have empty sealable plastic container cans that used to contain ground coffee) that I might use just like the "jars." But I decided to give one of the toilets another sh*t.... er... uh... "shot."

As far as my personal plumbing went, totally uneventful. Everything exited well, minimal paperwork for clean up, etc.. But that's when the fun stopped.

Of course, this toilet took that precise moment to back up And nothing I could do would free it (plungers did absolutely nothing). Sp there I was. doing Youtube research on cleaning a sewer drain (there's actually some neat gear you can attach to your pressure washer). and figuring out the cost of a "Roto Rooter" type service to come bail me out (hopefully not literally). And having seen some of the other Drain clean videos, I had to consider myself lucky it wasn't as serious. Still, I was totally miserable all afternoon, trying to figure out what to do.

"And, just like that...." (quoting Forest Gump), by the evening, the blockages cleared and both toilets were flushing properly and remain so at present. So I have no idea what happened. I called my water utility this morning and they claimed they were not working in our area yesterday. I'll ask one of my neighbors if they experienced something similar. Anyway, I'm thinking of buying one of these 50' Hydrojet lines (in place of a drain snake) (see image below). They pressure spray water in the front but also a little in the back to keep the line moving forward. The water utility told me I could snake it down the sewer gas outlet pipe on the roof and get to my central sewer drain that way. They could only handle the drain from the outdoor access port to the main sewer. They said they'd do that if it happened again.

What a scare. We'll see what happens over the following week or two.

 

[roostercogburn98]

 

[The D]

I feel like I’m napalming my kids right now. I don’t know what triggered this but it’s heinous

Effort) 0- I had to rush to the toilet to avoid some disaster pants

Odor) 9.5- Seriously, this is awful. It’s good that we don’t have any houseplants. The cats won’t even come around, and they usually sit in the bathroom for a few minutes to get some scratchies. Edit: now one of ‘em is creeping toward the door and meowing, probably cursing me out

Volume) 8- Not entirely sure, actually. There’s quite a mess in there

The only regert I have is not being able to do this during the busiest time at work. The lord works in mysterious ways, maybe next time

 

[Average guy]

To get this rolling again. Post coffee shit this AM. Had an Italian meatball casserole last night. Effort was a little higher than optimal. Volume well worth the effort, pile out of the water. Smell 5/10 nothing truly repulsive but you knew you took a shit for sure. Overall 7/10. Waiting for my late afternoon coffee, that usually gets good results.

 

[akmike47]

To get this rolling again. Post coffee shit this AM. Had an Italian meatball casserole last night. Effort was a little higher than optimal. Volume well worth the effort, pile out of the water. Smell 5/10 nothing truly repulsive but you knew you took a shit for sure. Overall 7/10. Waiting for my late afternoon coffee, that usually gets good results.

The other day I displaced the water in the toilet, it was only shit. I knew I wasn’t feeling well for a few days for some reason, sweet relief.

I should note it’s not like my toilet holds a ton of water, but it was quite the puddle of chunky pudding.

 

[Average guy]

epic dump out

 

[The D]

What I feel like right now

 

[Average guy]

So first day back at work. Had my usual 32oz coffee on the way. About 1 1/2 hours in its game time. Sat down and straight up shit at least an 18” turd. Good girth and no break up on splash down. Effort low to medium. Smell was average. Clean up was low. 8/10

 

[akmike47]

 

[akmike47]

 

[akmike47]

Just making a playlist that is very on topic for this thread.

 

[TicTacTex]

 

[akmike47]

View attachment 7884835

 

[powdahound76]

Been too long since an update here.

Decided it was time to drop one at work since my last fart cleared out the cubicles I crop dusted and could feel pressure building.

Surprisingly low volume.

Stench is good. Pulled pork and beer fuel some goodness.

Easy clean up.

7.8/10 for overall

 

[Average guy]

Dropped one at the in-laws yesterday. Great volume clean up was a little more than ideal. Now the smell was like a ports shitter at a pow wow. Kinda felt bad for wrecking the shitter, but still a solid 8/10

 

[The D]

I’m gonna share a poop from someone else. I had to clean it, so I think this is fair. And no, this isn’t about my grandparents. It’s about my 11 month old son.

I got my kids home yesterday afternoon and as I’m trying to get shit ready for dinner I smell something. I originally thought it was from the trash so I didn’t think anything of it. I picked the little one up and almost passed out from the diaper smell.

I had to hold him out in front of me as far as possible to keep steady on our way to the changing table. Now, as bad as this smelled I would have bet the farm that his diaper was totally filled and had shot up the back. Mysteriously, there was no external mess. I took his little shorts off and pushed his shirt up to get the diaper off, no mess but the smell is getting worse from having layers of filter removed. Opened the diaper, aaaand… still no horrific mess. Weird. Lift his legs to keep investigating, there isn’t much mess at all. Obviously he pooped but it was a fairly small amount that didn’t require an entire package of wipes to clean. Other than the smell making my eyes water and most assuredly damaging the olfactory center in my brain it was a really simple diaper change. So let’s go to the box score

Effort) 7/10 I was a little nauseous from the smell and he’s at the age that he can’t lay still in the changing table so I had a little trouble wrangling him

Mess) 4/10 Nothing exciting, just a poop. No extra wipes needed

Smell) 11/10 I don’t know what else to say. I can’t understand how such an innocuous little mess could smell so bad. This went right out to the trash, no loitering in the waste basket in their room. Hopefully the smell from the trash bin outside doesn’t kill the grass

 

[atepointer]

Just 'dropping in' my contribution which was born out of Chinese then Vietnamese meals in last 36 hours. The various mix of spices, garlic and other pungent ingredients led to an eye watering experience a few minutes ago. Had hoped for farts with same quality, but none to be had. This mix needs more research on the fart potential which starts today, but overall the Asian sector gave me a great intro to the weekend.

 

[M4orturnate]

Thanks for the shitty thread. Made me laugh to the point of tears here at work.

 

[The D]

It’s such a satisfying feeling playing an away game and crushing. We took our kids on a week long rv trip through southwest Colorado and there was no chance I was going to release a giant poop in our camper. Thankfully the last site we stayed in had bathrooms nearby. We had just gotten to the site when I had to waddle to the bathroom for an emergency evac. I had some cell reception so I wasn’t too bored on my journey.

Amount) 9/10 lots, I filled the bowl
Odor) 7/10 smelled bad but didn’t strip any paint from the bathroom walls
Effort) 5/10 didn’t really need to push, and if I had waited any longer my underwear would have needed to be thrown away

Overall) 8/10 would poop again.

 

[diggler1833]

I managed to grace Lowe's with these cheeks yesterday. Opened stall #3 (didn't want to be close to the pissers) and noticed immediately that while they had an ample supply of wax-paper ass-bibs, that there was no toilet paper.

Moved to stall #2 and whilst I was evicting a stomach ache, some dude flew in and ran to stall #3. He proceeded to do a slightly condensed version of Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber:

I pushed pretty hard in response, but was low on ammo by this point and barely shot out a single wet fart bubble. It was pretty humiliating...I felt like the Chinaman at the gang bang with my inadequacy.

Then after a brief moment, I heard the guy start fumbling for some hope of T.P. from his dispenser. Then a weak little "oh shit" slipped from his mouth, followed by lots of rustling of the wax paper ass-bibs.

He must have only wiped once, because he was gone in a matter of seconds. No way he cleaned off his leather cheerio that quickly with the supplies on hand. Even worse, he left without washing his hands...another reason why I dislike shaking hands with strangers these days.