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Share Your Poop!!!

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:oops:
A phenomenal poop for the second day in a row!
Today’s was pretty much perfect
Excellent form
Low odor
Low heat
Easy clean up
Authoritative trumpet announcement of arrival just before
9.4/10
 
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It’s not been a good day. I got some stomach bug and have been dead all day. On the few occasions that I could shuffle into the bathroom I’ve really only peed out of my butt. Hopefully a shower and some more sleep will bring me back from the afterlife
 
…dammit, still peeing out of my butt. Gettin real tired of this stupid bug
 
So had a fairly spirited poop last night, with a loose finish...a bit later than my normal "potty time".
So before I can get a Monster and breakfast in me this morning, Krakatoa is grumbling, "Whoa, this isn't right." A bit loose all the way,quick, energetic, like opening a quarter turn valve, a real "gone in 30 seconds" poop.
Huh...thats strange.
Soooo.....
Come in at noon thirty to get the sweat and funk off me from housebuilding.

Take a shower, go to wash the outlet and "Hoo hot almighty my ass is raw.
Then it hits me.
At dinner(thats lunch here in da souf) I decided I would boost my electrolytes with that huge bowl of fresh pineapple. If a little is good, a lot is better.
No
 
This morning was a fairly special steaming lava pile.....slow flow, drop and subsequent pile up. BBQ Wednesday that never fully exited yesterday then a not small Ribeye last night led to some disorganized Cosbys. Just took a PM BM which I believe to be the tail end of the ribeye. Time for coffee feelin strong.
 
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Been worked up getting everything ready for the daughter to go to college. Got her all set up in her dorm and headed for the motel. Made it to the room in the nick of time. All hell broke loose, a triple flusher. Smell was horrible, volume was extremely large. Biggest shit I’ve had in years
 
My 4yo dropped quite the deuce at the alpine visitor center in Rocky Mountain National Park earlier this week. He kept saying his stomach hurt and that he thought he was going to throw up. We brought a bucket with us in case of this but he never really acted like he was going to throw up before this. After a few rotations between; I’m hungry, my stomach hurts, & I think I’m going to throw up, it dawned on us that he hadn’t pooped in a few days. So I took him to the bathroom and he grundled out something that I would have been proud of. But he weighs 33 pounds…
 
Time for a diversion back to a thread about REAL poop vs the non-stop tinfoil fatalist doomsday poop threads that appear every 10 minutes.

I just took a forgettable mid afternoon deuce and was hoping someone could lift my spirits with a story of volume, stench or Guinness size? Make the wife puke? Dog bark?

Anyone? Bueller? Someone has to have taken a noteworthy deuce today.....5 weeks since last blowout report? I had a big BBQ lunch with baked beans and mac n cheese so hoping tomorrow starts off with an earthquake
 
I have a 1 hour commute to work. All rural with one small town in the middle. Anyway I stopped there and got gas the other morning and felt like I had one brewing, but shouldn’t be a problem making it to work. Boy was I wrong. 10 minutes in and I’m taking evasive action. Biggest shit I’ve had in months all by the side of the highway. Needless to say I had a spring in my step all day. Stench, volume and scenery 10/10.
 
Yup.
charmin and wet wipes in the truck at all times.
even a cold wet wipe cleans well if needed!

My kid is a master of needing an Emergent Crap 30 miles from the nearest toilet. She at least is skilled and can drop a deuce anywhere if needed.
 
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Seems like every time I get to my favorite secluded long range spot, it’s game time for the browns. One thing my dad taught me was take a dump whenever and wherever the urge hits.
 
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I may have to look into these wet wipes for avoiding ROF. BBQ didn't disappoint this morning while I'm still only rating this a 7.3 it's a step in the right direction after recent letdowns. Thinking the mixture of mac n cheese with beans provided some measure of performance improvement at breech.....more experimenting needed will try double baked beans next trip.
 
Seems like every time I get to my favorite secluded long range spot, it’s game time for the browns. One thing my dad taught me was take a dump whenever and wherever the urge hits.
I love a good forest 💩!
The search for a good spot, the setup, the execution and then kicking leaves over it or burying it like our furry friends

(y)
 
Haven't read all the way through, but my favorite saying is;
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I poop on company time!
 
Epic bomb!!!

Normal, though smallish, poop followed by a violent exit of gas and poop.
like a frag grenade.

How I didn't get it all over my butt cheeks and legs I do not know.

Laughed way to hard after that!!

Smell is horrible.

strangely, easy cleanin!!
 
Those are best at a public toilet. Let someone else clean up that mess.
 
Wow.

Monster drop

finished making kids breakfast (pancakes) and had eggs frying in bacon grease when the urge hit.
Eggs in hot cast iron dont take long and by the time I could toss em on a plate and make it, I was waddling….. and its only about 12 steps.

Formed, little light in color, attributed to carrots and hummus last night.

Made a french press for morning coffee today. Seems to be a pattern I note with it, that after finishing a 32oz press, the urge hits harder than similar fluid volume from the standard coffee pot.

May have to do a little research paper on this. 😁
 
Great drop.
plenty of stink.
Easy clean up.

had 4 big ones yesterday, so volume was a bit lower than normal.

anyways. 🤷‍♂️


Poops in the woods stories from hunting camp coming next week!!!
 
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I happened upon this in my YT travels, today.

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Apparently, there's a whole website devoted to a series of products that help you.... well.... you know... :poop: :ROFLMAO:

 
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My girl wanted hibachi a while back, I ate and instantly felt rough. stomach grumbling guts churning, I could feel the hellish pudding gathering at the gates

Thought I’d make it to the house, but ran into tractor supply instead. Run in and I’m shitting mid sit, luckily it didn’t plaster the seat. I’m sitting there exorcising my gut demons, sweating and praying. Door opens, and I hear “*GAG* OH GOD!”, I lost it.

3/10 hibachi food poisoning death pudding, luckily TS sells pressure washers as I needed one for clean up.

My apologies to tractor supply.
 
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Oh boy!!!

Got home late from post Thanksgiving meal over at my cousin’s place.

Piles of folks. Plenty of snacks and leftovers, pile of wine, beer, and booze.
(Read, fuel for purpose of this thread).

Yesterday I received a lovely well wishing from a friend that ended with “Happy Thanksgiving and a fin shit tomorrow”.

HOLY CRAP!!!!

Awakened at about 6 and wondered what smelled so bad…..
Then felt another fart brewing and let it rip and shortly after knew what was so aggravating to my olfactory.

A little rumbling and realized it was time to get on the shuffle to the thrown.

Big drop. I mean, all the things we wish we had. Girth, length, firm. 🤣
Serious drop on a couple monsters.
Realized shortly that there was more to happen, so grabbed a magazine and started reading a story about fishing for arctic grayling on a fly rod on a small back country stream in AK.
Couple pages in and here it comes!!!!
Like a video of a flash flood in the small canyons of Utah and AZ, a dizzying deluge of brown sludgy liquid came down the pipe with an alarming and destructive force.
After 3-4 waves of this, I took a gander past my shriveled Little Smoky and was aghast at the volume filling the bowl.
I knew I had to flush or face serious risk of back-up and overflow once I finished. I expected there to be significant paper product, as one gets a sense this was no ordinary clean-up procedure.
Double checked the plunger was in place just in case I miscalculated and we had already passed the critical “mass overload” stage.
Flushed and took it no problem. Impressed with both toilet and sewer pipes to be honest n
2 more rounds of significant evac, easier clean up than expected, and another flush and I was done.

All of this occurred in the small basement crapper at my parent’s house.
Literally a toilet under the stairs off the basement laundry room. Soap on the utility sink for washing your hands.

Stench was solid, but no paint bubbling noted, so a little sad I couldnt add that to my over all score.

Giving it an 8.5/10 over all.
With an F for Flush for the mandatory mid pooh flush to avoid the overflow and plunger.
 
Kinda felt blah yesterday. Just layer around. Got up today and had my coffee, then bam, it’s game time. A solid 10 minutes of releasing the demons. Probably a legit 5 pound release. Stink was bad but not paint peeling. Overall I give it a 8.75/10.
 
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