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Maggie’s shithouse poet

dohnuts58

dohnuts58

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Nov 27, 2009
608
12
38
the big MO
For anyone that has ever deployed, used a port-a-shitter, or used a public restroom, you have seen some good literature scrawled or carved into the walls. Post the best ones you have seen (or wrote)----


the ever popular (insert name) loves cock

here i sit, cheeks a flexin
givin birth to another texan

dropped a shit, some are floatin
just another minnesotan

2/7 (or whatever unit is there) is clownshoes

30 days till i go home
oh yeah, i got 7 left
i got back 3 days ago, this is a recording

dont look here, the joke is in your hand

for all the females on the way back to the states, how does it feel to be ugly again?

the always popular etches of cocks, usually spewing jizm
 
Re: shithouse poet

This one aint mine but I did read it in a shithouse once...

People who shit within these walls

Roll their shit into little balls,

People who read these words of wit...

Eat those little balls of shit!!!
 
Re: shithouse poet

Here I sit, in a cloud of vapor...
The bastard before me pissed on the paper.

or

Here I sit, broken hearted,
Thought I had to shit, but only farted.
 
Re: shithouse poet

They paint these walls to stop my pen, but the shithouse poet has struck again.

There once was a man from Peru, who fell asleep in his canoe. While dreaming of Venus, he played with his penis, and awoke with a hand full of goo.
 
Re: shithouse poet

There once was a guy named Hugh Glass, who's balls were made out of brass, while rubbing together they made stormy weather and lightning shot out of his ass!
 
Re: shithouse poet

Here I sit all broken hearted
Came to shit but only farted
Wasted time but what the hell
At least I can enjoy the smell

Jim
 
Re: shithouse poet

here i sat all broken hearted
tried to shit but only farted
later on i took a chance
tried to fart and shit my pants
 
Re: shithouse poet

As seen in a bar in Buffalo Wyoming, summer of 1980.

Here I sit my asshole flexing, just gave birth to a two pound texan.

Wyoming...where men are men and the sheep run scared.
 
Re: shithouse poet

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Laser1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">As seen in a bar in Buffalo Wyoming, summer of 1980.

Here I sit my asshole flexing, just gave birth to a two pound texan.

Wyoming...where men are men and the sheep run scared. </div></div>




<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 26pt">+1</span></span></span>
 
Re: shithouse poet

2010-04-20-Strip_31_Shitter_Graffiti_web.jpg


http://terminallance.com/2010/04/20/terminal-lance-31-shitter-graffiti-is-an-art-of-dicks/
 
Re: shithouse poet

At the transfer station that I go to dump my truck at there is a big Nazi Swastika carved in the wall of the shitter. I guess Nazi's like to blow ass at the dump........
 
Re: shithouse poet

A large arrow pointing at the push button on the hot air hand dryer with caption that read " Push here for a word from your congressman"
 
Re: shithouse poet

Nothing against Texans, but seen written on a toilet paper dispenser: "Texas Photo ID Machine--Wipe Ass to Develope".

AG
 
Re: shithouse poet

The night was dark
The sky was blue,
Out of the ally
The shit wagon flew,
It hit a bump
A cry was heard,
A man was killed
By a flying turd.

Signed, snakeshit
 
Re: shithouse poet

Seen at Safeway a while back: "Free Obama Dolls" written with an arrow pointed at the crapper.

At a Hotel in middle of nowhere Nebraska I read on the wall of the bathroom "Don't throw your cigarette butts in the shitter, the crabs have learned to poll vault."
 
Re: shithouse poet

Keep it shaved & smellin’ sweet
Its guaranteed they’ll always eat
But if it stinks and gunks all on it
They’ll take one sniff and surely vomit
 
Re: shithouse poet

There once was a pirate named Gaites, who could do the fandango on skates, he fell on his cutlass which rendered him nutless, and practically useless on dates.
 
Re: shithouse poet

Since I got to(insert unit here) I've been sleeping like a baby! I wake up crying every couple of hours!
 
Re: shithouse poet

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DieTrying310</div><div class="ubbcode-body">"Jesus saves"

directly underneath:

"Gretzky gets the rebound, he shoots, he scores!" </div></div>

"Jesus Saves"
"Yankees win in 9"


Here i sit
in all this vapor
the guy before me
used all the paper.
I here the call
I must not linger
Lookout asshole
Here comes the finger.
 
Re: shithouse poet

Saw this on a worksite porta-jon: Here i sit all tired and dirty hidin out till 6:30.
Underneath someone wrote: There you sit all dirty and tired come 6:30 your ass is fired
 
Re: shithouse poet

OSHA reg. #OICU812: All turds over 6" in length must be hand lowered to avoid chemical backsplash.
 
Re: shithouse poet

Some people come here to sit and think
some people come here to shit and stink
I come here to scratch my balls and
read the writing on the walls
 
Re: shithouse poet

Grandpa would be disappointed, his Corps has come and gone
All that matters now is fairness, not what’s right or wrong.

Back in Grandpa’s Corps, safety was a condom
And when the enemy challenged him, he went out and fought em’

There were no safety officers and certainly no women
Just men filled with courage and bold NCOs who led them

The spear is no longer sharpened; it’s been grounded dull
For the sake of political correctness and safety for all

Instead of heavy combat or patrols filling my long day
It’s all about “hearts and minds” and the rights of the gay

They cut the NCOs at the knees, good order is now called hazing
It’s gentleness they want now, their tolerance torch is blazing

So here I am now in the rear with the timid, the women, and the weak
The turds are lining up to be promoted, the air filled with their stink

I am denied my calling, I am denied my right
I cannot even prove myself, in a battle they won’t let me fight.

Grandpa would be disappointed, his Corps has come and gone
All that matters now is fairness, not what’s right or wrong.

 
Re: shithouse poet

"I Fucked Your Mom"


and just below it...


"Go home Dad, you're drunk!"
 
Re: shithouse poet

First guy: Believe in Jesus, he can do more for you than you can imagine.

Second dude: Will he do my laundry?

Third guy: Only whites, no starch.
 
Re: shithouse poet

In GA Jesus save us.... from your followers

a reply to the cheeks flexen birthed a texen: So thats where dubya came from

the most brutal I have seen:
In CA what did the 13yo native girl say when she lost her vignity? Get off me dad your crushing my smokes
 
Re: shithouse poet

Oh my god I miss those... wait no I dont because it was always over a hundred degrees in there and they hadnt been sucked out in days!!
 
Re: shithouse poet

There once was a guacho named Bruno
Who said "There is one thing I do know,
A woman is fine,
A sheep is devine,
But a Llama is numero uno."
 
Re: shithouse poet

"Free Corn U Pick"

With an arrow pointing down the hole.

"Mexican Space Shuttle"
 
Re: shithouse poet

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CE1371</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Grandpa would be disappointed, his Corps has come and gone
All that matters now is fairness, not what’s right or wrong.

Back in Grandpa’s Corps, safety was a condom
And when the enemy challenged him, he went out and fought em’

There were no safety officers and certainly no women
Just men filled with courage and bold NCOs who led them

The spear is no longer sharpened; it’s been grounded dull
For the sake of political correctness and safety for all

Instead of heavy combat or patrols filling my long day
It’s all about “hearts and minds” and the rights of the gay

They cut the NCOs at the knees, good order is now called hazing
It’s gentleness they want now, their tolerance torch is blazing

So here I am now in the rear with the timid, the women, and the weak
The turds are lining up to be promoted, the air filled with their stink

I am denied my calling, I am denied my right
I cannot even prove myself, in a battle they won’t let me fight.

Grandpa would be disappointed, his Corps has come and gone
All that matters now is fairness, not what’s right or wrong.

</div></div>
The sad truth...
 
Re: shithouse poet

4 U 2 P N 2
Here I sit among the bliss
Listening to my tinkling piss.
I hear asplash and then some bitchen
What the Fawk its a scab electrician.
 
Re: shithouse poet

The best one I saw was while in Bagram, Afghanistan and it was in a Porta-John. It was a picture of a woman giving birth to a screaming Eagle, 101st Airborne. It was drawn pretty well for a porta-john.
 
Re: shithouse poet

Not poetry, but a recurring theme was "Post is gay" I guess Post was a lower enlisted Infantry guy who was on the same FOB I was back in '07, saw that written in porta johns on every single FOB I went to all over Baghdad, Anaconda, Kuwait, and in the bathrooms of the barracks we were staying in at Ft. Dix. Also saw it written into the road surface in downtown Baghdad where they re poured cement to fill in an IED hole.
 
Re: shithouse poet

I saw a nice round target on a back of a door. Below it read
"Booger pickers of America Unite"
Forgot to mention it was covered in boogers...
 
Re: shithouse poet

I was here, now I'm gone.
Those who knew me, knew me well.
Those who didn't can go to hell.
 
Re: shithouse poet

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: rero360</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Not poetry, but a recurring theme was "Post is gay" I guess Post was a lower enlisted Infantry guy who was on the same FOB I was back in '07, saw that written in porta johns on every single FOB I went to all over Baghdad, Anaconda, Kuwait, and in the bathrooms of the barracks we were staying in at Ft. Dix. Also saw it written into the road surface in downtown Baghdad where they re poured cement to fill in an IED hole. </div></div>

Pretty sure they were referring to standing guard duty.



Here I sit, my cheek's a flexin'
Trying to drop another Texan
Here I go, give one last push,
Out plops another Bush.

Wish I remember more of them.
can't forget the ever present "Wagner loves the Cock"
 
Re: shithouse poet

I've seen "Wagner loves the cock" at every major base the Marine Corps has along with every FOB and COP I've been to in Afghanistan. It's our generation's "Kilroy was here" ... that and Wagner must really love cock.
 
Re: shithouse poet

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: pyrotechnic</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: rero360</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Not poetry, but a recurring theme was "Post is gay" I guess Post was a lower enlisted Infantry guy who was on the same FOB I was back in '07, saw that written in porta johns on every single FOB I went to all over Baghdad, Anaconda, Kuwait, and in the bathrooms of the barracks we were staying in at Ft. Dix. Also saw it written into the road surface in downtown Baghdad where they re poured cement to fill in an IED hole. </div></div>

Pretty sure they were referring to standing guard duty.



Here I sit, my cheek's a flexin'
Trying to drop another Texan
Here I go, give one last push,
Out plops another Bush.

Wish I remember more of them.
can't forget the ever present "Wagner loves the Cock" </div></div>

Classic
 
Re: shithouse poet

I drive truck and get all my news from shitter stalls. The hardest I laughed was:


"On these walls with all the charm and wit, You'd think Shakespere came to take a shit"

Honorable mention:

"Stop smoking all my old ladies pot it makes her crabby"
Wonder to this day who it was meant for.
 
Re: shithouse poet

About a foot off to the side of a urinal

If you can read this you're pissing on your leg
 
Re: shithouse poet

in 08-09, in almost every shitter I used from Kuwait north to Hammer and BIAP - GENDRON SMELLS!
 
Re: shithouse poet

Ah, sweet Antoinette
Your pants are wet.
You say it's sweat,
It's piss I bet.
In all my dreams
your sweet ass gleams
you're the wrecker
of my pecker,
Sweet Antoinette....
 
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