Movie Theater The problem with most Crime shows or series.

lonegunman762x51

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So I've been enduring the joys of Netflix or Amazon for a few years now. I work in a geographically remote area, no cable and why buy DISH when you have no time to watch it on a regular basis. I've noticed something mildly annoying about most dramatic series based on the lives of criminal scumbags of any era in history or any country on earth and it makes every show suck balls.

They all have the same characters?


Main character #1 is always so fucking smart he should be running the entire country. Cops cannot catch him and they all know he is a criminal. HE is usually a he and probably a heterosexual but he will kiss a dude or cuddle with a tranny or have sex with a Catholic priest. Either Dad or Mom ran off on him. sometimes both of them ran off and he was forced to go it alone, became an adult at 12 years old, was on his way to MIT but crime took him off track. Someone loves him but he is so full of self-loathing he cannot allow them to love him. He needs one BIG SCORE to get him out of the life. BUT................................he will be drawn back in.

Main character #2 is that fucking strong empowered woman, Aunt Polly, Smurf, Abby or whatever you call her, she dives a muff like a pro, manipulates weak minded male relatives or criminal cohorts with her womanly guile and tricks. She is also a lying cunt, playing all sides for her own demented reasons and lying to everyone. She usually spawned a few criminals from various men who come and go in the series.

Main character #3 is the stupid, emotional brother or sister who is not smart enough to figure shit out and does the grunt work of crime, carrying the bag of pay off money and getting rolled when he/she stops for a sub sandwich or uses it to buy a new car for his girlfriend or some such stupidity. They have an aliment, drug addiction, genetic defect, lost an arm in the war or some shit. They could have been a contender, in charge or went to college but they got side tracked by crime or something and missed their window.

Main character #4 is the retard. Ray Donovan has a legit tard for their tard. When given the choice of five options, the last being so damned stupid not a single person on earth would choose it, Bunchy goes full retard and does the dumbest thing on earth than calls Ray to fix it. Peaky Blinders has Arthur, Sopranos has Richie, Animal Kingdom has Pope. Everyone has an unstable emotional shitshow to muck it up in every episode.

Main character #5 is that friggin kid. Sure Aunt Polly spent her younger years getting her guts beat for money, pooped out a kid and the state took him. Smurf abandoned the daughter who was banging the favorite son when he knocked her up and whatever screwed whoever in the next series. This little asshole turned 16 and wants in so he comes home. He never paid his dues, he doesn't know shit from Shinola and he is as untrustworthy as Hunter Biden in a pharmacy but he thinks he should be in fucking CHARGE baby.

Main character #6 is the butthurt cop. They killed his friends, they killed his or her snitch or maybe they killed someone they once loved. This cop hates them, they are so damned smart he cannot catch them thru legal means so he/she or it will cross the line. He will also have sex with their girlfriends or wives or a sister or two or she will do both the boys and girls because the ends justify the means.

Main character #7...................that gay one. Required by law a minimum of 10% of the show is homosexual, typically it is 30% these days. Sadly, the CDC says non-heterosexuals comprise less than 5% of the population. The CDC researched this in massive studies with 500,000 to 1,000,000 participants and proved that non-heterosexuals typically make up 2.5% of all people. But on TV they are typically 25% and anyone can go gay at anytime if it increases ratings or makes people uncomfortable.

Main character #8, the out of place minority one. Every Irish mobster from Boston has a black child, we all know they love the sisters and this stuff happens. Same goes for early 20th century England. Sure it would be tough to find a large black community in an industrial city in Great Britain in WW1 but they were there bro.....................they were well connected and powerful too. 18th century England or America, California surf thugs whatever bro, we all have a black friend. Strange part is that African American folks are 12% of the demographic and there are always fewer of them than the gay characters.

Main Character #9.............the traitor............sure the gay dude loved him or the kid loves her or maybe the strong powerful woman has a fetish and this one can take a beating and some melted wax on it's nipples. In the end, one of the first eight will fall because this traitor was doing it for revenge or to get out from under a stiff prison sentence or maybe his dad killed their dad or the main character killed his sister or her brother or whatever the hell the problem was. In the end, this one dies.

The plot is the same for 4-8 seasons until the horrible conclusion or hell maybe they will just shitcan the show because social justice objects to it,,,like Ray Donovan. Or we get the Game of Thrones ending from Dexter where everyone dies or fakes dying or changes their identity because they are just so damned smart all the cops in the world cannot catch them and they live elsewhere. Heck man, Ben Assfleck grew a beard and no FBI agent could find his ass in Florida after he murdered a dozen cops and robbed a MLB park. Sure the FBI can ID 100,000 people who voted for Trump and persecute them all, but they will never find theses villains' if they move six blocks from their former home.

Or maybe we can hate those damned cop shows? You know the ones, that frigging cop who works 24/7/365, dedicated to fighting crime, his bosses hate him, his co-workers hate and envy him, he breaks the rules to get the job done, he kills three people a year, sometimes more. No girlfriend, his neglected wife falls into the arms of another man/woman or whatever. His kids haven't seen him in years and he lives next door. In the end, he retires forgotten by all but the victims of the crimes he solved and is staring off in the distance or tossing his badge into a pond.....................................................until next time when the mayor or chief or torn family members pull him back.
 
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NoDopes

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Hollywood pushing social brainwashing hard... Every show is swapping out for female leaders, minority black, even all computer genius females and burka wearing muslims. Gays everywhere. All cops are racist. White males are downplayed or outright idiots. Period pieces also have large number of black rich aristocrats with white servants. Just like schools, they are going after kids, playing the long game.
They don't care nobody watches oscars..
 

Skunk

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The real problem with most of those shows is that they make the public think LE is much more powerful/efficient than it really is. Solving cases in a day, computers that work, tapping/geo-locating phones in 5mins from the comfort of the Investigator's desk, planning executing a SWAT operation in the time it takes to drive from the PD to the target location, etc, etc.

If only any of it worked that way....
 

Familydude

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    Pretty much nailed the formula. Same garbage, different show title. Don’t watch them because they are absolute crap however, hollywood’s version of anything typically is.
     

    canezach

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    Hollywood pushing social brainwashing hard... Every show is swapping out for female leaders, minority black, even all computer genius females and burka wearing muslims. Gays everywhere. All cops are racist. White males are downplayed or outright idiots. Period pieces also have large number of black rich aristocrats with white servants. Just like schools, they are going after kids, playing the long game.
    They don't care nobody watches oscars..

    This has been exactly what I've seen. My wife watches shitty TV shows, like Grey's Anatomy. That show in particular is a notable offender of having far and away more "representation" for the sake of having "representation". Characters are straight, then a season later, they're gay. It seems like 50% of the patients have some sort of SJW oppression tilt, like "Oh, was he in a car crash? Yes, but the true injury comes from the fact that he identified as a multi-racial bisexual communist transgender Muslim convert and his white conservative parents just won't accept who he is because conservatives hate their gay Muslim children!" There's gay and minority characters added simply for the sake of saying, "Oh, this scene has 8 people in it, so we need 3 women, 2 trans, one white male who will be the idiot or antagonist, and 2 children. Let's have two people be Muslim burka-wearing women, one has to just randomly announce they're gay for no other reason than to announce it, and then two of the other people in the scene will also say they gay and then they'll all congratulate each other on their 'courage', and then we'll have twelve more people walk through the scene. All of them will be black, much to the chagrin of the white male antagonist who stands in the corner, cursing and twirling his evil mustache like Snidely Whiplash!" If it's germane to your plot, so be it! But stop trying to cram as much agenda into an episode as possible just to make it "inclusive". It feels so forced
     
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    Familydude

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    This has been exactly what I've seen. My wife watches shitty TV shows, like Grey's Anatomy. That show in particular is a notable offender of having far and away more "representation" for the sake of having "representation". Characters are straight, then gay. It seems like 50% of the patients have some sort of SJW oppression tilt, like "Oh, was he in a car crash? Yes, but the true injury comes from the fact that he identified as a multi-racial bisexual communist transgender Muslim convert and his white conservative parents just won't accept who he is because conservatives hate their gay Muslim children!" There's gay and minority characters added simply for the sake of saying, "Oh, this scene has 8 people in it, so we need 3 women, 2 trans, one white male who will be the idiot or antagonist, and 2 children. Let's have two people be Muslim burka-wearing women, one has to just randomly announce they're gay for no other reason than to announce it, and then two of the other people in the scene will also say they gay and then they'll all congratulate each other on their 'courage', and then we'll have twelve more people walk through the scene. All of them will be black, much to the chagrin of the white male antagonist who stands in the corner, cursing and twirling his evil mustache like Snidely Whiplash!"
    Snidely Whiplash...
     

    EddieNFL

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    I always chuckled at the CSI leads. These guys were experts in...everything. The Miami guy (Kelly), always talked as if he trained Socrates.
     
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    Texasflyer

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    Well, ive been watching the A team for the first time since i was young and it was on a 13 inch tube tv with dials. It is horrible. I remembered them as being the good guys.... nope, only work for cash. One episode they take half a watermelon crop as payment lol. They constantly drug mr. T.... like to the point where they are actively playing the shell game to get him drugged... the i love it when a plan comes together hannibal, no plan... ever... openly in the show acknowledgedes any lack of a plan. Murdoch is racist... like i had to consult urban dictionary to find out what a mudsucker is.... i remember loving this show...... not good. I watched the fall guy before it and.... amazing still, heather thomas and no bras, jumping trucks, cool stunts... winner.
     
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    mcameron

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    What gets me is the fucking plot conveniences that they use to solve the cases.

    We were watching Criminal Minds, and one episode they were looking for the location where a kidnapper (now dead) was hiding his victims.

    Well wouldn't you know the kidnapper had some "strange looking mud" on his shoes.....so they thought to "analyze the mud" (whatever that means), and in just 20 minutes they determined that the mud contained a rare enzyme only used in meat processing plants ( what are they odds right??!).....and wouldn't you know it, there was an abandoned meat packing plant in town where the victims happened to be.
     
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    uffduh

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    Watched a few episodes of Prodigal Son this week. Not terrible for a distraction.
     

    EddieNFL

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    What gets me is the fucking plot conveniences that they use to solve the cases.

    We were watching Criminal Minds, and one episode they were looking for the location where a kidnapper (now dead) was hiding his victims.

    Well wouldn't you know the kidnapper had some "strange looking mud" on his shoes.....so they thought to "analyze the mud" (whatever that means), and in just 20 minutes they determined that the mud contained a rare enzyme only used in meat processing plants ( what are they odds right??!).....and wouldn't you know it, there was an abandoned meat packing plant in town where the victims happened to be.

    20 minutes less commercials. Pretty impressive.

    What about all the heroics Jack Bauer pulled off in 24 hours?
     
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    srtsam

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    Hollywood pushing social brainwashing hard... Every show is swapping out for female leaders, minority black, even all computer genius females and burka wearing muslims. Gays everywhere. All cops are racist. White males are downplayed or outright idiots. Period pieces also have large number of black rich aristocrats with white servants. Just like schools, they are going after kids, playing the long game.
    They don't care nobody watches oscars..
    This + 1000 percent! Just another reason I dumped cable. Network shows have basically been dead to me for years. In fact I think the last shows I watched that I was really in to.....walking dead til Rick flew off in a helicopter and I was barely hanging on even then. Basically, they were following the script play for play that nodopes spelled out. After that, sopranos, breaking bad, GOT, Spartacus and Banshee and just recently the boys. I don’t watch a lot of tv.
     

    Maggot

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    You watch television?

    Bwahahahahahahaha

    I got rid of my TV nearly 15 years ago. One day I had it on an realized how annoying it was, jerked it off the table and threw the sumbitch out in the drive way, havent had one since.


    I had to stay in a hotel last night and had nothing else to do so I turned on the TV. 61 channels of nothing but garbage made me realize I made a smart move 15 years ago.
     

    TurboTrout

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    They are all statist propaganda, the police are always right and always solve crime, don’t even think about doing wrong because they’ll find a wing on a fly that was once there and the “geek” character will construct everything that happened and the super hot female cop kicks the 200lb bad guys ass, while her black partner takes out the other bad guy from 300yrds off handed with his snub nose, It’s so silly.

    They should make it more like the first 48