The Ten Basic Truths of Life!
Number 10:
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9:
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8:
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .
Number 7:
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6:
Some people are like a Slinky, not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5:
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4:
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3:
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2:
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 truth is . . .
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers -- what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Number 10:
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9:
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8:
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .
Number 7:
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6:
Some people are like a Slinky, not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5:
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4:
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3:
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2:
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 truth is . . .
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers -- what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
