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Well, check that one off the bucket list. I got kicked out of a parade.

TheGerman

Oberleutnant
Full Member
Minuteman
  • Jan 25, 2010
    10,608
    30,188
    the Westside
    We did the July 4th parade here earlier in the month and there were somewhere around 7000 people along the parade route. We went with one of our MRZRs with a M240 on the arm mount and had all of my guys dismounted tossing out candy to the kids, and handing out cards and our flyer to everyone as we went. We were trailing behind the HMMWV that was driven by the county Sheriff and Undersheriff and had the county commissioner's on the back of it tossing out candy. At one point one of them came over and asked if we were there to provide fire support.

    Later that day there were people like Glen Beck at the local college stadium that I heard had something like 25,000 people attending prior to the fireworks show. It was an absolute madhouse and we basically got chased down by people asking about night vision, the vehicle or wanting a flyer because they didn't get one.

    Fast forward to yesterday and about 3 miles over in a neighboring town. There was another parade as the 'local' religious group that inhibits Utah has a giant holiday over the weekend. It's basically their 4th of July, Independence Day and Columbus Day all at the same time. We had decided, based on the July 4th turnout, to attend this parade and the festivities afterwards as well and registered for the event roughly 10 days beforehand.

    We started to get our overall plan together this week and waited for Saturday. On Thursday, I get a call from a local number that I do not answer and get a voicemail to return the call in regards to the parade. I call back and am told that we were selected to be cut from the parade because it was going to be so large this year that the local police and fire departments needed it to be smaller before they would sign off on it. I didn't think too much about it and figured we got cut as we weren't a purpose built parade float; oh well.

    After teaching my guys all about mission planning and being able to pivot without as much as whining about Plan A not working out, we got to work. Mapping the day's activities, parade routes and the timelines of where any festivities would occur post parade, we put a plan together and were ready on Saturday.

    This is where shit got really stupid.

    We arrive at the location we picked at a city park where the parade would end. After the parade, this park would have 'activities' for the next few hours and was an obvious gathering point. It made perfect sense to post up there in the parking lot with one of the mil vehicles, candy, flyers and a promo to shoot some machine guns to get some traffic and let the locals know what was in their backyard. Set up was fast, and we even had a police car swing by and talk to us about how cool this was and told us good luck.

    As the parade started, I noticed something was off. The parade route had like....1/10th the people the July 4th parade had and the actual parade consisted of shit like 3 guys on the back of a truck playing religious music to a group of weird looking millennials from the local high school theater class on foot doing I have no fucking idea what. This was some Children of the Corn level shit. The only way I could describe this 'parade' and the people along the route, when compared to the party atmosphere of the 4th, is 'Little Dick Energy'. That was around the time it made sense to all of us; we weren't cut because of parade size limits, we were targeted. We didn't know that we were right at the time, but that was confirmed earlier today from someone who contacted me to let me know that there was an actual discussion within the city to exclude us because of the fact that we would basically make their parade all about us and not about lame local religious things. Can't tithe to NV and machine guns, so we can't have that now can we!

    So whatever, let's fucking do this. Tent is up. Tables look great. The crew is talking to people. My wife even came to give kids candy.

    We're in the parking lot for all of 30 mins until the Karen of all Karen's with a clipboard appears. I could feel her Karen-ness before I even managed to catch her marching over towards us out of the corner of my eye.

    In the middle of what seemed like a panic attack, she demands to know what we are doing because she is the park manager. I think the lack of anyone giving a shit just set her Karen level another 2 or 3 levels higher. We explain what we're doing and she goes on about how we weren't in the parade. I go over with her how we were, until Thursday because they had called us. She then denies that even happened. I then show her the missed call and VM on my phone and she confirms that is their number but they had probably called me because I wasn't registered for the parade. Wait...what? How did you call me if I wasn't registered?

    You could see on Karen's face that she was caught in a lie. Everyone just stared at her and then she ran off in a huff.

    A few minutes later, all I hear is the shriek of Karen as she is holding up her phone like it was Thanos' glove to proclaim that we needed to leave within 5 minutes or 'she was calling dispatch'. Not the police. Dispatch. LOL WTF. Even my wife laughed at her.

    I again, ask about the parade and what had happened. She of coarse doesn't want to discuss that but wants me gone or she's calling dispatch. Multiple people, some who were guests at the park who we didn't know, begin to ask her what the problem was as well. She had lost any control she had of her park and an uprising was on the horizon. The absolute best was an older guy in a wheelchair who had wheeld up behind her. I look at her and ask if she was going to continue to stand on the sidewalk as he was trying to get by. She looks at him and nicely says that the wheelchair ramp was over there; he responds with telling her to GTFO of his way because he wanted a flyer.

    Seeing that she was a few minutes away from being burned at the stake, she threatens us again with 'dispatch' and that 'they wont be nice when they come!!'. My response of letting her know that I have 5 deployments and that I don't give a single fuck about her, or dispatch, put her into limp mode for a good minute because apparently, no one (including her 11 cats) had ever talked to her like that before.

    I tell the crew that we're going to go as Karen is just going to escalate this to the point that she's going to pepper spray herself or something. Technically it is city property, but there are no restrictions to this and we weren't in the park.

    In hindsight I wish she would have had the cops come because I have a weird feeling it would have ended up with the cops rolling their eyes and then us talking about night vision and machine guns.

    But....I got kicked out of a parade and a park yesterday.
     
    Last edited:
    Sounds like a "night ops" needs to be carried out to help Karen with her over populated cat issue....lol.
    Glad you stood up to her and frustrated her dumb ass....
     
    • Haha
    Reactions: woogie_man
    No. You're dead wrong about one thing. Cats will definately tell you or Karen or anybody to fuck off. Cats are the definition of don't give a shit.

    By the way...
    You know the parade is over when all the politicians are gone and all that's left is horse shit...
     
    I wish there was an EMF emitter that produces frequencies that are harmless to a normal, uncompromised human heart, but causes a heart that is damaged by man made experimental stuff to go irreversibly haywire. Because if a Karen wants to start shit, I wanna switch on that EMF emitter and check to see if they are vaxxed first.
     
    Lol funny story but where the pictures of the mrzr with that m240 mounted!!
    GIJoe Mod1.jpg
    MG2.jpg
    19.TIF.jpg
    IMG_1585 (1).jpg
    IMG_8876.JPG



    Think most of those are with the MK46 but you get the idea.

    And no, thats not me infront of the MRZR in that picture, its someone who worked for me.
     
    so what's next maybe drunk inter isle grocery store volley ball with a group of friends you wild people . maybe in store kid bike races . do a video what ever you try next .
     
    Makes me want to buy a MRZR mil unit sitting at the local dealership. Still has the stenciled unit number on it. I’m afraid to ask how much they want for it.
     
    Makes me want to buy a MRZR mil unit sitting at the local dealership. Still has the stenciled unit number on it. I’m afraid to ask how much they want for it.

    They get $74k per unit for one from DoD.

    This one is upgraded in basically every way possible from the .mil version. It's the only 1000cc that exists.
     
    They get $74k per unit for one from DoD.

    This one is upgraded in basically every way possible from the .mil version. It's the only 1000cc that exists.
    Really? I would’ve thought they were all 1000 engines considering it’s hauling operators, ammo, gear, machine guns and etc.
     
    • Like
    Reactions: Average guy
    Really? I would’ve thought they were all 1000 engines considering it’s hauling operators, ammo, gear, machine guns and etc.

    Nope.

    They used to have 800s at the start, then 900s and diesels. The diesels have the same displacement I believe.

    The reasoning is that the MRZR is a RZR pulled off the line at some point and then modified to be an MRZR; they are not made separately up until a certain point. On the 1000cc model Polaris, the rear shocks are like 5 feet long and poke out the rear of the vehicle. This wouldn't allow for the deck to be put on and would basically stick out where the rear cargo area and rear passengers would sit. There is a way to modify the vehicle to work with the deck, but requires cutting the frame from stock and reinforcing it in a specific way as well as using a different rear suspension that is ratio'd and designed correctly for the wheel base and weight distribution.

    Polaris wanted to do none of this as it was just easier to keep pushing 900's off the line.

    We then went to extra lengths to 'fix' alot of the design flaws that they didn't take into consideration (or didn't care) when they made a larger/heavier vehicle and continued to use stock parts. For example, the 2 seat 900cc uses the exact same axles, suspension, tie rods, trailing arm, sway bar/links, drive shaft and basically everything else that matters as the 4 seat MRZR that weighs more and is supposed to carry 6 people plus gear.

    On top of that we redesigned the air intake which was normally on the port side rear, literally right next to the rear passenger's arm to be side induced ram with a much smarter and easier to maintain filtration system. Basically every suspension and drive train part were changed out for completely overbuilt parts (which funny enough, at times were actually lighter than stock), larger tires, much better heat shielding, improved sensor suite, a clutch that is geared for the weight and load, phased drive shaft, improved differentials and engineered an internal fire suppression system.

    It can do 90 and still run the standard MRZR into the ground.
     
    Last edited:
    Nope.

    They used to have 800s at the start, then 900s and diesels. The diesels have the same displacement I believe.

    The reasoning is that the MRZR is a RZR pulled off the line at some point and then modified to be an MRZR; they are not made separately up until a certain point. On the 1000cc model Polaris, the rear shocks are like 5 feet long and poke out the rear of the vehicle. This wouldn't allow for the deck to be put on and would basically stick out where the rear cargo area and rear passengers would sit. There is a way to modify the vehicle to work with the deck, but requires cutting the frame from stock and reinforcing it in a specific way as well as using a different rear suspension that is ratio'd and designed correctly for the wheel base and weight distribution.

    Polaris wanted to do none of this as it was just easier to keep pushing 900's off the line.
    Well now I’m glad I never inquired about it. Spend all that money and not even have a liter engine in it. Plus they just left it sitting outside all winter long. Not that it probably can’t handle it, but something that expensive shouldn’t be in freezing temps for no reason.
     
    You and your compatriots handled the situation in the most professional, respectful, and tolerant way possible. I commend you - no vulgarity, accusation, yelling, etc. That in of itself pisses people off more than you can imagine.
     
    I bet if you had been flying rainbow flags and or dressed in drag, you would not have been kicked put of the parade or park. If you give this theory a try, post pics!
     
    • Like
    Reactions: diverdon
    We did the July 4th parade here earlier in the month and there were somewhere around 7000 people along the parade route. We went with one of our MRZRs with a M240 on the arm mount and had all of my guys dismounted tossing out candy to the kids, and handing out cards and our flyer to everyone as we went. We were trailing behind the HMMWV that was driven by the county Sheriff and Undersheriff and had the county commissioner's on the back of it tossing out candy. At one point one of them came over and asked if we were there to provide fire support.

    Later that day there were people like Glen Beck at the local college stadium that I heard had something like 25,000 people attending prior to the fireworks show. It was an absolute madhouse and we basically got chased down by people asking about night vision, the vehicle or wanting a flyer because they didn't get one.

    Fast forward to yesterday and about 3 miles over in a neighboring town. There was another parade as the 'local' religious group that inhibits Utah has a giant holiday over the weekend. It's basically their 4th of July, Independence Day and Columbus Day all at the same time. We had decided, based on the July 4th turnout, to attend this parade and the festivities afterwards as well and registered for the event roughly 10 days beforehand.

    We started to get our overall plan together this week and waited for Saturday. On Thursday, I get a call from a local number that I do not answer and get a voicemail to return the call in regards to the parade. I call back and am told that we were selected to be cut from the parade because it was going to be so large this year that the local police and fire departments needed it to be smaller before they would sign off on it. I didn't think too much about it and figured we got cut as we weren't a purpose built parade float; oh well.

    After teaching my guys all about mission planning and being able to pivot without as much as whining about Plan A not working out, we got to work. Mapping the day's activities, parade routes and the timelines of where any festivities would occur post parade, we put a plan together and were ready on Saturday.

    This is where shit got really stupid.

    We arrive at the location we picked at a city park where the parade would end. After the parade, this park would have 'activities' for the next few hours and was an obvious gathering point. It made perfect sense to post up there in the parking lot with one of the mil vehicles, candy, flyers and a promo to shoot some machine guns to get some traffic and let the locals know what was in their backyard. Set up was fast, and we even had a police car swing by and talk to us about how cool this was and told us good luck.

    As the parade started, I noticed something was off. The parade route had like....1/10th the people the July 4th parade had and the actual parade consisted of shit like 3 guys on the back of a truck playing religious music to a group of weird looking millennials from the local high school theater class on foot doing I have no fucking idea what. This was some Children of the Corn level shit. The only way I could describe this 'parade' and the people along the route, when compared to the party atmosphere of the 4th, is 'Little Dick Energy'. That was around the time it made sense to all of us; we weren't cut because of parade size limits, we were targeted. We didn't know that we were right at the time, but that was confirmed earlier today from someone who contacted me to let me know that there was an actual discussion within the city to exclude us because of the fact that we would basically make their parade all about us and not about lame local religious things. Can't tithe to NV and machine guns, so we can't have that now can we!

    So whatever, let's fucking do this. Tent is up. Tables look great. The crew is talking to people. My wife even came to give kids candy.

    We're in the parking lot for all of 30 mins until the Karen of all Karen's with a clipboard appears. I could feel her Karen-ness before I even managed to catch her marching over towards us out of the corner of my eye.

    In the middle of what seemed like a panic attack, she demands to know what we are doing because she is the park manager. I think the lack of anyone giving a shit just set her Karen level another 2 or 3 levels higher. We explain what we're doing and she goes on about how we weren't in the parade. I go over with her how we were, until Thursday because they had called us. She then denies that even happened. I then show her the missed call and VM on my phone and she confirms that is their number but they had probably called me because I wasn't registered for the parade. Wait...what? How did you call me if I wasn't registered?

    You could see on Karen's face that she was caught in a lie. Everyone just stared at her and then she ran off in a huff.

    A few minutes later, all I hear is the shriek of Karen as she is holding up her phone like it was Thanos' glove to proclaim that we needed to leave within 5 minutes or 'she was calling dispatch'. Not the police. Dispatch. LOL WTF. Even my wife laughed at her.

    I again, ask about the parade and what had happened. She of coarse doesn't want to discuss that but wants me gone or she's calling dispatch. Multiple people, some who were guests at the park who we didn't know, begin to ask her what the problem was as well. She had lost any control she had of her park and an uprising was on the horizon. The absolute best was an older guy in a wheelchair who had wheeld up behind her. I look at her and ask if she was going to continue to stand on the sidewalk as he was trying to get by. She looks at him and nicely says that the wheelchair ramp was over there; he responds with telling her to GTFO of his way because he wanted a flyer.

    Seeing that she was a few minutes away from being burned at the stake, she threatens us again with 'dispatch' and that 'they wont be nice when they come!!'. My response of letting her know that I have 5 deployments and that I don't give a single fuck about her, or dispatch, put her into limp mode for a good minute because apparently, no one (including her 11 cats) had ever talked to her like that before.

    I tell the crew that we're going to go as Karen is just going to escalate this to the point that she's going to pepper spray herself or something. Technically it is city property, but there are no restrictions to this and we weren't in the park.

    In hindsight I wish she would have had the cops come because I have a weird feeling it would have ended up with the cops rolling their eyes and then us talking about night vision and machine guns.

    But....I got kicked out of a parade and a park yesterday.
    Level up!!

    Awesome!

    Yes, my HMMWV is not welcome in the local 4th of July Parade. No military vehicles is the 'new' rule because (Can't make this up), Military Vehicles have no place in a 4th of July Parade. But there were 20 Pride Displays as the Sperm Burpers and carpet munchers demonstrated that, apparently, we fought an extended war against England for the right of buggery.

    Well, Karens gonna Karen!

    Awesome about the 'real' 4th of July parade. And on the bright side, you didn't have to hang with Mitt Romney at the "Magic Underware" park romp!

    Cheers,

    Sihrr
     
    If @TheGerman had pulled out his phone and filmed her.......I could've heard the reeeeeeeeeeeee " YOU CAN'T FILM ME IN PUPLIC WITHOUT MY PERMISSION "here in Dixie.....Would've been epic
     
    • Haha
    Reactions: Eddystone
    now run along and give the Karen a Proper dicking.....
     
    I think I know of the religion you are speaking of. Are all the girls still okay with anal these days? I didn't think that was really a thing...then I found out it was a thing.
     
    I think I know of the religion you are speaking of. Are all the girls still okay with anal these days? I didn't think that was really a thing...then I found out it was a thing.
    I have never fucked a girl in the ass. I mean,...do you know whats in that hole? I'm just going to say I don't dip my dick in shit and there being an orifice involved doesn't sweeten the deal enough for me.

    Now, a condom wrapped around my dick? Different story. That thing is a beast and fears nothing.
     
    The parade is essentially celebrating Oregon Trail type stuff of 1847. My 3rd great grandpa was part of the scouting party. He is on the This is the Place Monument.

    Does your stuff fit? Maybe. I can say my ancestor would appreciate some of your hardware crossing the plains. Buffalo hunting with the gear could be useful.
     
    So you, your pipe hitting crew, and your dune buggy got ran out of a city public parking lot by Karen for being parked and handing out candy to children and cripples.? And then you go on to continue talking about how cool yourself and dune buggy are……….
    4A520D39-98AA-4BD4-AFEC-66BFB5E9FE2F.jpeg

    May Jehovah have mercy on your soul.
     
    • Haha
    Reactions: Bender and Dirty D
    I think I know of the religion you are speaking of. Are all the girls still okay with anal these days? I didn't think that was really a thing...then I found out it was a thing.
    Huh? Asking for a friend
     
    We did the July 4th parade here earlier in the month and there were somewhere around 7000 people along the parade route. We went with one of our MRZRs with a M240 on the arm mount and had all of my guys dismounted tossing out candy to the kids, and handing out cards and our flyer to everyone as we went. We were trailing behind the HMMWV that was driven by the county Sheriff and Undersheriff and had the county commissioner's on the back of it tossing out candy. At one point one of them came over and asked if we were there to provide fire support.

    Later that day there were people like Glen Beck at the local college stadium that I heard had something like 25,000 people attending prior to the fireworks show. It was an absolute madhouse and we basically got chased down by people asking about night vision, the vehicle or wanting a flyer because they didn't get one.

    Fast forward to yesterday and about 3 miles over in a neighboring town. There was another parade as the 'local' religious group that inhibits Utah has a giant holiday over the weekend. It's basically their 4th of July, Independence Day and Columbus Day all at the same time. We had decided, based on the July 4th turnout, to attend this parade and the festivities afterwards as well and registered for the event roughly 10 days beforehand.

    We started to get our overall plan together this week and waited for Saturday. On Thursday, I get a call from a local number that I do not answer and get a voicemail to return the call in regards to the parade. I call back and am told that we were selected to be cut from the parade because it was going to be so large this year that the local police and fire departments needed it to be smaller before they would sign off on it. I didn't think too much about it and figured we got cut as we weren't a purpose built parade float; oh well.

    After teaching my guys all about mission planning and being able to pivot without as much as whining about Plan A not working out, we got to work. Mapping the day's activities, parade routes and the timelines of where any festivities would occur post parade, we put a plan together and were ready on Saturday.

    This is where shit got really stupid.

    We arrive at the location we picked at a city park where the parade would end. After the parade, this park would have 'activities' for the next few hours and was an obvious gathering point. It made perfect sense to post up there in the parking lot with one of the mil vehicles, candy, flyers and a promo to shoot some machine guns to get some traffic and let the locals know what was in their backyard. Set up was fast, and we even had a police car swing by and talk to us about how cool this was and told us good luck.

    As the parade started, I noticed something was off. The parade route had like....1/10th the people the July 4th parade had and the actual parade consisted of shit like 3 guys on the back of a truck playing religious music to a group of weird looking millennials from the local high school theater class on foot doing I have no fucking idea what. This was some Children of the Corn level shit. The only way I could describe this 'parade' and the people along the route, when compared to the party atmosphere of the 4th, is 'Little Dick Energy'. That was around the time it made sense to all of us; we weren't cut because of parade size limits, we were targeted. We didn't know that we were right at the time, but that was confirmed earlier today from someone who contacted me to let me know that there was an actual discussion within the city to exclude us because of the fact that we would basically make their parade all about us and not about lame local religious things. Can't tithe to NV and machine guns, so we can't have that now can we!

    So whatever, let's fucking do this. Tent is up. Tables look great. The crew is talking to people. My wife even came to give kids candy.

    We're in the parking lot for all of 30 mins until the Karen of all Karen's with a clipboard appears. I could feel her Karen-ness before I even managed to catch her marching over towards us out of the corner of my eye.

    In the middle of what seemed like a panic attack, she demands to know what we are doing because she is the park manager. I think the lack of anyone giving a shit just set her Karen level another 2 or 3 levels higher. We explain what we're doing and she goes on about how we weren't in the parade. I go over with her how we were, until Thursday because they had called us. She then denies that even happened. I then show her the missed call and VM on my phone and she confirms that is their number but they had probably called me because I wasn't registered for the parade. Wait...what? How did you call me if I wasn't registered?

    You could see on Karen's face that she was caught in a lie. Everyone just stared at her and then she ran off in a huff.

    A few minutes later, all I hear is the shriek of Karen as she is holding up her phone like it was Thanos' glove to proclaim that we needed to leave within 5 minutes or 'she was calling dispatch'. Not the police. Dispatch. LOL WTF. Even my wife laughed at her.

    I again, ask about the parade and what had happened. She of coarse doesn't want to discuss that but wants me gone or she's calling dispatch. Multiple people, some who were guests at the park who we didn't know, begin to ask her what the problem was as well. She had lost any control she had of her park and an uprising was on the horizon. The absolute best was an older guy in a wheelchair who had wheeld up behind her. I look at her and ask if she was going to continue to stand on the sidewalk as he was trying to get by. She looks at him and nicely says that the wheelchair ramp was over there; he responds with telling her to GTFO of his way because he wanted a flyer.

    Seeing that she was a few minutes away from being burned at the stake, she threatens us again with 'dispatch' and that 'they wont be nice when they come!!'. My response of letting her know that I have 5 deployments and that I don't give a single fuck about her, or dispatch, put her into limp mode for a good minute because apparently, no one (including her 11 cats) had ever talked to her like that before.

    I tell the crew that we're going to go as Karen is just going to escalate this to the point that she's going to pepper spray herself or something. Technically it is city property, but there are no restrictions to this and we weren't in the park.

    In hindsight I wish she would have had the cops come because I have a weird feeling it would have ended up with the cops rolling their eyes and then us talking about night vision and machine guns.

    But....I got kicked out of a parade and a park yesterday.
    There's always a Karen out there, keep up the good work.