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Why do people load so hot?

... work up until your gun starts doing fucked up things to your brass. ...
:D From the outside looking in, I've always wondered about this. I work up until l find an accuracy node. Is it a pain in the ass, yes. But I don't chase speed, I want accuracy and precision (there is a difference). Could it be that people are looking for speed and, therefore, encounter "fucked up things" in chasing that speed? Probably? The faster the projectile, the less time gravity affects it in flight - I get that. Once I find the first acceptable accuracy, I stick with it and then fiddle with seating depth, primers, brass, etc. If that proves futile, I move up to the next node.
 
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"you can see the pressure" - sometimes I can and sometimes I don't . It is rare where the book is shooting the same barrel length, bullet, and case. My 308 loads usually show pressure in the primers - I shoot Federal 210Ms and 41.52 grains of IMR 4064. That is a moderate load going about 2,600 FPS - not hot. I shoot a 300 prc with 230 grain Bergers, 215M, H1000, and Lapua brass going 2,850. That is not a hot load - I have about 45 pieces of brass that went 16 full cycles without head separation. I expect to get more than 2,000 rounds thru my current barrel. I don't shoot hot because a barrel costs too much. I didn't say I shot hot, I said I know where pressure shows. I don't want to be close to that.

By the way, where is this 3rd party testing-pressure confirmation data with your barrel, powder, bullet, primer, case, and chamber? Where is that coming from?
You misunderstood, I meant you can read the published pressure data. There are various folks around though that sprung for pressure gauges and test stuff and put videos out that you can see, not with your exact gun unless you are lucky, but I think you knew that. I havent done it for rifle but for shotshell loads you can send them to Precision and they will test pressure for you.
 
I agree with @Maurygold here in that most experienced loaders aren’t going to tell you to run it up to max loads.

I’ve noticed in prs some of the local big names run their charges on the lower side. Lower recoil, better chances of seeing hits and misses and making corrections. I’ve started to follow that trend as long as my rifle hits where I’m wanting at distance, I see no point in running it on the high side.

Conversely, I’ve seen shooters run it on the ragged edge and as soon as rain or dust is introduced , blown primers, case head separation, heavy heavy bolt lift, stripped round stuck in chamber etc etc.
My favorite was ROing at a match and the daughter (sharing a gun with her father) couldn't even close the bolt on the rounds loaded by the father due to his desire to chase high velocity and increased COAL.