Why mother's drink!
A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was
addressed to Mom. With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with
trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you
would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle
clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the
passion...... Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole
winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other
people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray
that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves
it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself..
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know
your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son Jon
P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card
that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home
A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was
addressed to Mom. With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with
trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you
would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle
clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the
passion...... Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole
winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other
people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray
that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves
it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself..
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know
your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son Jon
P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card
that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home
