Maggie’s Why Mother's Drink

Kogapsp

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Minuteman
Feb 17, 2004
470
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Santa Barbara
Www.kogapsp.com
Why mother's drink!

A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was
addressed to Mom. With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with
trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you.


I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you
would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle
clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the
passion...... Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole
winter. We share a dream of having many more children.


Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other
people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray
that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves
it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself..
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know
your grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son Jon

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card
that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home

 

Emilio

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Oct 1, 2006
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Burbank, CA
Re: Why Mother's Drink

I still would have gotten my ass kicked, maybe more after that.
 

300WSM

Gunny Sergeant
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Apr 29, 2004
1,395
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WI
Re: Why Mother's Drink

no kidding. Or like the time I accidentally shot the TV with my first BB gun. lol
 

TXBSAFH

Private
Minuteman
Nov 27, 2008
15
0
Texas
Re: Why Mother's Drink

My dad would have hunted me down and whupped the fire out of me after that.
 

GySgtMUSMC

Private
Minuteman
Mar 1, 2009
60
0
47
NC
Re: Why Mother's Drink

He could just stay at his friends house for another 3 years until he was 18.
 

Msprink05

Private
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Oct 24, 2008
95
0
WNC
Re: Why Mother's Drink

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 300WSM</div><div class="ubbcode-body">no kidding. Or like the time I accidentally shot the TV with my first BB gun. lol</div></div>
HAHA i did the same thing, tried to lie. Got my ass whipped with a belt for trying to lie. Guess the small bb sized hole gave me away.
 

xs hedspace

hippie redneck geezer
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Jan 19, 2005
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Bearsville, NY
Re: Why Mother's Drink

I vaguely remember when I was in high school, staggering home from a beer blast at some classmate's house(parents gone for the weekend!!). Stumbled in the front door, mom lurking in the hall. She asks:"Are you DRUNK??" I reply: "I hope so, I drank a shitload of beer!" Not a word about it, later. Years later, I aked mom if she told dad, she says no, he would have killed you. Thanks, mom...
 

Target07

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Oct 13, 2007
220
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43
Hattiesburg, MS
Re: Why Mother's Drink

I love that one. One of my favorites. However, it is not as funny as it used to be since I have become a father.